When does the shock/panic wear off?

[Jeani]

My ds6 keeps sending me into panic mode that I'm not doing enough for him. He walked away from a math test today on long division and did not show his work (I always try to force him to before he hands in his tests -- an ongiong battle that I'm only winning because the Wii is on the line), so I said, "Hey, wait a minute, how did you get this answer?" (Still wasn't sure of the answer myself.) He said, "Mother, look at the next problem. Isn't it obvious?" and walked away. Really, I'm "Mother" now? And no, it was not obvious.

 

So, the first problem was a word problem which led to the problem 76 divided by 4. He just wrote 19 and moved on. Part of the next question was a true/false thing that said 74 divided by 4 = 18 + 2. He knew it was false, that it should have said 18 R2. But he used it to solve the earlier problem. He does this all the time. I'll give him an equation to solve, and instead of solving it, he'll give me an equivalent equation and smile while I sputter.

 

It's driving me batty, and I just want to know, at what point can I expect all of this to stop freaking me out? I really don't talk to people about it because, well, you know, for all the reasons we don't really talk to a lot of people about these details. He's in 3rd grade, doing Singapore Math, advanced in all academic areas except handwriting and maturity. I really don't know what else I can do for him at this point.

[momsuz123]

It hasn't worn off for me yet. But hugs to you. I will be watching this.

[alwayslearning]

Maybe you need to move him up in math if he is not being challenged? He definitely shouldn't be disrespectful to you. :) Forcing him to show the work may be a battle you wont win, but if the work is challenging enough that he has to show it to solve it, well ... you both win. :D

[boscopup]

For showing work, it helped for me to explain why work needs to be shown. I don't require it for obvious mental math problems, but if there are multiple steps, I require it.

 

I explained that how you get the problem is just as important as the right answer, and if the work isn't shown, he might have guessed the correct answer for all I know.

 

Don't make it a battle. If a problem doesn't have work shown, hand it back quietly with those problems circled, and tell him to shoe his work for those. No pleading or arguing. Just calmly hand it back.

 

That said, he's also young, and some of it is maturity. My son is much more willing to show work now that he's 8. He wasn't ready for that as much at age 6.

 

Disrespect should be handled in whatever manner you usually handle that. I nip that in the bud as soon as I see it.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

If it helps, ds6 has recently started calling me "My Mother" instead of "Mommy."

[EKS]

I think it's unrealistic to expect a 6yo who is average with respect to handwriting and maturity to show work in math intended for students a few years older. What we did in this situation was to use a small whiteboard, which was less objectionable to my son than paper and pencil, combined with me writing for him when needed. When I scribed for him, he was required to tell me exactly what to write. Over the years I gradually transferred the responsibility for writing to him and now, at age 10 and in Algebra I at a b&m school, he is showing his work appropriately.

[NittanyJen]

I think it's unrealistic to expect a 6yo who is average with respect to handwriting and maturity to show work in math intended for students a few years older. What we did in this situation was to use a small whiteboard, which was less objectionable to my son than paper and pencil, combined with me writing for him when needed. When I scribed for him, he was required to tell me exactly what to write. Over the years I gradually transferred the responsibility for writing to him and now, at age 10 and in Algebra I at a b&m school, he is showing his work appropriately.

 

I agree with Kai on this completely. Handwriting can be a deal breaker for younger kids, and white boards, window writing, you scribing for them, working on an ipad or a computer, graph paper, and other methods can all be great helps.

 

I think you hit the nail on the head yourself when you said he is advanced "except in handwriting and maturity." And that is fine, and not something that needs to be remedied; it's fine for a bright kid to still be a kid. Help him deal with the disparity between his abilities and his age so that his age is not a roadblock for what he can really do.