speedmom4 Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 (edited) My dd is a senior and has gotten her top two college acceptances. One is already offering a big scholarship and they are both inviting her to compete for more scholarship money. We have been working toward this goal for a very long time. Dd has always said she wanted to go away for college, not too far though. Today she tell me that she wants to apply to a local university because she isn't sure she would be happy away from home. The two schools she has been accepted to both have great piano performance programs. The local university has an ok one. I'm just so frustrated now. :banghead: I thought we had a plan. I guess we will go ahead and apply to the local school but it just seems that maybe the reality of going away is hitting her. Is this typical for some kids?? My dh just says she's a teenage girl and she doesn't know what she wants. I'm am ready for this whole process to be over and make some decisions soon. Anyone BTDT? Thanks, Elise in NC Edited October 18, 2012 by speedmom4 Typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in MA Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Yes, indecision on the part of the dc is perfectly normal. When my son started applying, he said he wanted to be very close to home so he could come home for church youth group. But then, the director left during his senior year and the group fell apart. I'm glad that he applied to a variety of places near & far so he had some choices come April. I'd respect her wishes and let her apply to the local program, but hopefully, when it comes time to make the decision, she'll pick the one with the best program in her major if the costs work out. That whole senior year is such a roller coaster ride. Just when you think you're over the major hill (e.g. applications in), then you get hit by the next one (Financial Aid forms), and the next ones (Mid-year report), and the next one (acceptances), and the next one (decision), and ...... Hold on tight! It really is a wild ride! Brenda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I expect to be in this place in the next few months. Just reading makes my stomach jump. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted October 19, 2012 Author Share Posted October 19, 2012 Yes, indecision on the part of the dc is perfectly normal. When my son started applying, he said he wanted to be very close to home so he could come home for church youth group. But then, the director left during his senior year and the group fell apart. I'm glad that he applied to a variety of places near & far so he had some choices come April. I'd respect her wishes and let her apply to the local program, but hopefully, when it comes time to make the decision, she'll pick the one with the best program in her major if the costs work out. That whole senior year is such a roller coaster ride. Just when you think you're over the major hill (e.g. applications in), then you get hit by the next one (Financial Aid forms), and the next ones (Mid-year report), and the next one (acceptances), and the next one (decision), and ...... Hold on tight! It really is a wild ride! Brenda This is very reassuring. I don't do well with "wild rides" but if I know it's coming I can deal with it a lot better. I'm going to let her apply and hope she comes to her senses. I think the reality of leaving her home, her maid (oops I mean mother), and her friends is starting to scare her. I feel like I finally accepted that she would be leaving and now she thinks she wants to stay home! Thanks! Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 :lol:My dd20 was the opposite. She was adamant that she did NOT want to leave home. She wouldn't even apply to schools. Fine by me, we have an excellent community college here where she could start. Then, about March, she decided that she might want to go to the big state college. ummmm...so sorry, they are no longer accepting applications for fall. You can apply for spring...It all turned out well. She is very happy at the cc and doing fantastic. She has a confidence about her that will ensure her success when she transfers. She has figured out her plan for how she wants her life to go. She has...truly grown up. Long story, short answer: yes, they are wishy-washy! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in NE Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 My dd is a senior and has gotten her top two college acceptances. One is already offering a big scholarship and they are both inviting her to compete for more scholarship money. We have been working toward this goal for a very long time. Dd has always said she wanted to go away for college, not too far though. Today she tell me that she wants to apply to a local university because she isn't sure she would be happy away from home. The two schools she has been accepted to both have great piano performance programs. The local university has an ok one. I'm just so frustrated now. :banghead: I thought we had a plan. I guess we will go ahead and apply to the local school but it just seems that maybe the reality of going away is hitting her. Is this typical for some kids?? My dh just says she's a teenage girl and she doesn't know what she wants. I'm am ready for this whole process to be over and make some decisions soon. Anyone BTDT? Thanks, Elise in NC I think your dh is right. That's all. :001_smile: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I think your dh is right. That's all. :001_smile: :grouphug: Me, too, although I don't think it is just girls who waffle when faced with reality. I've sent mine away for a few months many times. They almost always don't want to go when it comes time to actually go. When they pull out their pack and start thinking about what they will need, they remember all the bad parts of being away from home. People are expecting them, though, so they leave, but it makes the packing pretty miserable. Then we get the "I have arrived safely now I remember why I do this thanks for helping me pack" phone call. I go through a similar process, so I understand. I am just old enough to remember that I go through that process. I'd let her apply to the close school if she really insists, but I would strongly push her to "just try" the far school for a semester. I'd remind her that she can transfer if it isn't working out, and that it will be easier to transfer from the far school to the near school that from the near to the far (because of the quality of the program) and that beginning with a good scholarship is a good idea. Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in NE Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Me, too, although I don't think it is just girls who waffle when faced with reality. I've sent mine away for a few months many times. They almost always don't want to go when it comes time to actually go. When they pull out their pack and start thinking about what they will need, they remember all the bad parts of being away from home. People are expecting them, though, so they leave, but it makes the packing pretty miserable. Then we get the "I have arrived safely now I remember why I do this thanks for helping me pack" phone call. I go through a similar process, so I understand. I am just old enough to remember that I go through that process. I'd let her apply to the close school if she really insists, but I would strongly push her to "just try" the far school for a semester. I'd remind her that she can transfer if it isn't working out, and that it will be easier to transfer from the far school to the near school that from the near to the far (because of the quality of the program) and that beginning with a good scholarship is a good idea. Nan :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ame E. Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) we had a very similar experience last year, where DD picked (her current school) big university... then right before making her final decision (in April) she switched to wanting to go to smaller local school.... At first we felt okay, maybe smaller local school would be good for her, considering she was graduating a year ahead... etc.... but then we had more money come through for the big school she wanted, and it was a better school academically and had more opportunities for her...so finally last minute she went back to her original choice. Roller coaster ride is a good word for it.. Also, if she is in the position where she can once again visit the schools with the great piano departments offering her a lot of money, that will help... We visited our children's current schools multiple times before deciding... And meeting with the piano teachers... and looking at living situations.. Edited October 22, 2012 by Ame E. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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