Hair twisting

[Element]

When am I going to learn?

 

Ds9 has had vocal and motor tics for a few years now, but I am still caught off guard by new tics every. single. time. For the past 2+ weeks I have been saying "stop twisting your hair, you're going to give yourself a bald spot." Tonight, after his shower, I noticed that he had indeed given himself a bald spot. I had him look at it in the mirror and again told him, "Honestly, kiddo. You've given yourself a bald spot. You have to stop twisting your hair."

 

He looked at me kind of helplessly and just said, "I really can't."

 

Then it hit me: Hello! It's a new tic. And here I've been nagging him about it for the past two weeks, thinking how awesome it was that his latest motor tics were bothering him less. Ugh. I just feel so bad. I do this every time. It just catches me off guard. I think I need to print out a list of all possible vocal and motor tics and just look at it once a week so I'm not giving him a hard time about something over which he has no control. His hair has been nearly buzzed since he was in preschool, so I've never seen hair-related tics before.

 

That's all. I'm not really looking for advice. We have never sought a dx, and we all pretty much know it's TS. We wouldn't want to medicate him unless he was harming himself or others. I think I just needed to type this out because I was feeling a little guilty. Thanks for reading.

[Trillian]

I know you said you weren't looking for advice, but my niece did the hair twirling, and my sister gave her a long hair stuffed animal, and she twirled its hair instead.

 

And I've been there. I yelled at my son for biting my the other day - not a hard, angry bite, just putting his teeth on me - and realized later it was a tic, he's been chewing everything. I got him some Chewlery. He's too embarrassed to take it out of the house, but it's great for at home.

 

Edited for grammar

 

Hugs,

[Element]

Thank you so much for your response. It makes me feel a little better knowing other moms in this situation sometimes miss new tics too. I also wanted to clarify: I didn't mean "I'll be offended if you give me advice!" :001_smile: I'm sorry if I made it sound that way. I just meant, "I know not a lot of people can relate to this. Feel free to read and not reply. I understand."

 

I really appreciate the suggestion about a long-haired stuffed animal. Dd7 has one that just might do the trick. That's a great idea, thanks!

[mommymilkies]

My 4 yo is not special needs, but has some anxiety issues. She has moved from hair twirling to biting her nails/fingers. We used to have to cut her hair because of the knots! She twirled my hair as a baby/toddler. Wish I could help with ideas for them to stop! What about a fidget toy to wear- bracelet or necklace?

[dsmith]

Ds does the hair twirling too, but only when tired. He usually falls asleep before any hair comes out.:001_smile: His new thing is picking his scalp. This one I don't know what to do with. He has caused bleeding quite a few times. I'm worried about the infection risk. I do the same thing with his new tics and compulsions, and then I feel guilty for trying to stop something he can't help. It takes me a while to realize what they are. It also takes HIM a while to realize what they are.

[Walking-Iris]

My ds is dx'ed OCD/PDD-NOS. His hair pulling, tugging and twisting was one of the reasons we started Zoloft (among others). It really is a sad thing when your child has OCD and can't control a tic. They don't like it either. He has cried in my lap numerous times because he wishes he understood why he's doing, thinking something. My ds still does it when he is really anxious or worried, although it's getting better. He'll grab one hair and pull, or he'll rake his fingers through his hair in one spot over and over again. Really hard. He says it hurts his head, and he doesn't want to do it. When he does it you can tell that he's "stuck"---he just keeps pulling, tugging, raking over and over (hard!) multiple times. He was anxious about something in karate the other night and while he was waiting in a line I counted 20 hard rakes through his hair in half a minute. I eventually had to go and pull him out and sit with him and talk with him.

 

I do try to stop him (even though I know he can't help it) because I want to figure out what in that situation is causing anxiety and try to help him work through it. After getting a drink of water and talking to me about his worry about shoulder rolls and the other kids watching him do them and a few rubs on the back and a "It will be fine" he went back to karate class without any more hair tugging.

 

I believe that the pain stimulates the nerve endings and redirects the person's thoughts from the anxiety. Pain also raises adrenaline and gets them ready for the stressful situation. This is what all stims/tics are--pain or no pain. Not an effective coping skill. All I know to do is to stop it when I see it and to talk my ds through the anxiety.

 

He never does it for comfort reasons or for nervous fidgeting--falling asleep etc. Nervous fidgeting he'll grab one corner of his shirt and twist it, or pull those elastic button hole things from his jeans and twist those. I do redirect all tics/stims into more effective coping methods.

 

I was anti-meds for the longest time. But really the low dose Zoloft has helped my ds tremendously. He seems better able to listen and break out of his head and learn different coping strategies. I wouldn't say use meds alone, using them coupled with learning new habits and strategies is a must.

[kewb]

Both my kids have trichotillomania (hair pulling) and they are helped enormously by taking 5-htp daily and Inositol (in powdered form).

[Element]

Ds does the hair twirling too, but only when tired. He usually falls asleep before any hair comes out.:001_smile: His new thing is picking his scalp. This one I don't know what to do with. He has caused bleeding quite a few times. I'm worried about the infection risk. I do the same thing with his new tics and compulsions, and then I feel guilty for trying to stop something he can't help. It takes me a while to realize what they are. It also takes HIM a while to realize what they are.

 

 

Ds went through scalp picking too. One of the reasons we let him grow his hair out in the past several months is because we thought it would help with the scalp picking. He was causing sores and I was starting to worry about the infection risk too. I don't know if it helped or if he just replaced the picking with the twirling. I guess twirling is better than picking.

 

He doesn't seem to be stressed or tired. He mostly just "spaces out" when he does it.

[mommymilkies]

Ds went through scalp picking too. One of the reasons we let him grow his hair out in the past several months is because we thought it would help with the scalp picking. He was causing sores and I was starting to worry about the infection risk too. I don't know if it helped or if he just replaced the picking with the twirling. I guess twirling is better than picking.

 

He doesn't seem to be stressed or tired. He mostly just "spaces out" when he does it.

 

I do this. :blushing: Mostly when I'm tired or stressed. I didn't even realize it until dh compared it to what dd does. I do it entirely unconsciously. We just realized my ds does this, too. His started more recently-just the last year or so. Could you give him a brush that really gets his scalp? I brush my hair religiously for a looooong time before bed because it is calming and if I do, I don't spend an hour scratching my head before I fall asleep. :lol: It helps dd with her hair pulling/twisting issues, too. Adding tto or mint to my shampoo helps, too. It's slightly tingly, so I think it's a sensory thing.

[Element]

I do this. :blushing: Mostly when I'm tired or stressed. I didn't even realize it until dh compared it to what dd does. I do it entirely unconsciously. We just realized my ds does this, too. His started more recently-just the last year or so. Could you give him a brush that really gets his scalp? I brush my hair religiously for a looooong time before bed because it is calming and if I do, I don't spend an hour scratching my head before I fall asleep. :lol: It helps dd with her hair pulling/twisting issues, too. Adding tto or mint to my shampoo helps, too. It's slightly tingly, so I think it's a sensory thing.

 

He has a thing with brushes. He cannot stand the way they feel. Then again, he has only really had "brushable" hair for a few months. Before that he was buzzed for years. Maybe he just needs to find the right brush. I like the idea of a mint shampoo though.

 

I wanted to thank everyone for sharing your experiences with me. It really is helpful to talk about these things with other moms who have btdt.

Edited October 21, 2012 by Element

[Walking-Iris]

He has a thing with brushes. He cannot stand the way they feel. Then again, he has only really had "brushable" hair for a few months. Before that he was buzzed for years. Maybe he just needs to find the right brush. I like the idea of a mint shampoo though.

 

I wanted to thank everyone for sharing your experiences with me. It really is helpful to talk about these things with other moms who have btdt.

 

I'm going to be honest. I believe there's a big difference between sensory seeking with hair (or other textures)and trich OCD type tics with hair. They have similar root causes, but the difference is in the child's mental state and ability to control it. If you can figure out which beast you're dealing with, then you can tailor your responses to that. I could give my ds all the brushes or long haired stuffed animals and fidget balls in the world and he may like the sensory fun of those, but it won't do a thing to change his OCD mental state when he starts pulling his hair. Those thinking processes need to be addressed. A child can sensory seek and have zero underlying anxiety, just as a child with anxiety doesn't always show it with a tic/habit.

[Element]

I'm going to be honest. I believe there's a big difference between sensory seeking with hair (or other textures)and trich OCD type tics with hair. They have similar root causes, but the difference is in the child's mental state and ability to control it. If you can figure out which beast you're dealing with, then you can tailor your responses to that. I could give my ds all the brushes or long haired stuffed animals and fidget balls in the world and he may like the sensory fun of those, but it won't do a thing to change his OCD mental state when he starts pulling his hair. Those thinking processes need to be addressed. A child can sensory seek and have zero underlying anxiety, just as a child with anxiety doesn't always show it with a tic/habit.

 

Thank you so much for your input, Iris. I didn't really know how to respond to your earlier post because it sounds like your ds is really coming from a totally different place than my ds. It would be heartbreaking to watch that kind of anxiety occur in a child. I totally understand why you needed to help alleviate some of those problems by adding medication and replacement therapy. I think I would have done exactly the same thing.

 

I have no reason to think ds has anxiety. I have found that he doesn't notice his tics unless someone points them out, and that (someone pointing it out) seems to be the only thing that causes him to have anxiety. Because of this, we have tried to not mention the tics and we haven't really sought professional medical help for him. The tics usually go away on their own after a couple of months. He has had palilalia for a couple of months and it comes and goes. I actually had palilalia for years as a child, and I still repeat the last few words of a sentence in my mind. I wasn't aware I did it as a child, but once I started noticing it I was (very slowly) able to move the echoing inside my head and keep it from coming out of my mouth.

 

I think he will either gain more control over these things eventually (as I did) or he will become anxious because of them. If and when the latter becomes reality, I won't hesitate for a moment to seek professional medical help for him. For now, though, he seems to be relatively anxiety-free.