I don't get it

[PIE!]

Why would dd choose to stand in the corner and cry rather than just doing her work?

 

When she starts to complain and refuse to work I send her to the corner. That way she doesn't get to play (like if I sent her to her room), and I am freed up for whichever kids want positive attention.

 

She can come out as soon as she is willing to work. But she chooses to spend an hour crying in the corner.

 

This doesn't happen often - usually one incident is enough of a reminder and we have weeks or even months of much better attitude.

 

Mostly I just feel bad for her that she's making a choice that causes unhappiness. I guess we all do that to some extent in different ways. But right now I just don't get it. I hope she comes around soon.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

If she is misbehaving to escape the work, you're giving her exactly what she wants. I would have her stay in front of the work, and you walk away. Do not let her escape the task.

[Joanne]

Why would dd choose to stand in the corner and cry rather than just doing her work?

 

When she starts to complain and refuse to work I send her to the corner. That way she doesn't get to play (like if I sent her to her room), and I am freed up for whichever kids want positive attention.

 

She can come out as soon as she is willing to work. But she chooses to spend an hour crying in the corner.

 

This doesn't happen often - usually one incident is enough of a reminder and we have weeks or even months of much better attitude.

 

Mostly I just feel bad for her that she's making a choice that causes unhappiness. I guess we all do that to some extent in different ways. But right now I just don't get it. I hope she comes around soon.

 

I'm not a fan of the punishment.

 

But I wanted to address a larger issue and encourage you to think of the thoughts you posted above. If it is infrequent, why are you worried? I mean children are human. Humans, regardless of what personal spiritual paradigm you hold, are imperfect. We have ups and downs, moods, emotions, and daily rhythms.

 

Your dd, just like any other human, will have off days.

[Kaleidoscope]

I don't get it either but I have one who does the same thing. I can't let her stay in front of her work because then she's more of a distraction for everyone else. Plus then I think she gets more of what she wants she gets to be the center of attention. Unfortunately she does this several times a week versus once every few weeks or months. Every year I hope she'll outgrow it.

[PIE!]

If she is misbehaving to escape the work, you're giving her exactly what she wants. I would have her stay in front of the work, and you walk away. Do not let her escape the task.

 

If I let her stay in front of the work she would draw all over it and have a grand ol' time. She has to do the work before she gets to do anything else. There is no escape.

 

I'm not a fan of the punishment.

 

But I wanted to address a larger issue and encourage you to think of the thoughts you posted above. If it is infrequent, why are you worried? I mean children are human. Humans, regardless of what personal spiritual paradigm you hold, are imperfect. We have ups and downs, moods, emotions, and daily rhythms.

 

Your dd, just like any other human, will have off days.

 

Thanks. I know she's just having an off day. I'm not exactly worried. She'll be fine. Later today when she gets it out of her system we'll be talking, reading together, giggling, and cuddling. But right now she's upset and I still don't enjoy seeing unhappy children ;)

 

I'm not a huge fan of the punishment either - but after much trial and error this is what we've found works best for HER. If I didn't address it in this way now, she'd have off days every day.

[PIE!]

I don't get it either but I have one who does the same thing. I can't let her stay in front of her work because then she's more of a distraction for everyone else. Plus then I think she gets more of what she wants she gets to be the center of attention. Unfortunately she does this several times a week versus once every few weeks or months. Every year I hope she'll outgrow it.

 

yup. She used to do it a lot more often, so there is hope of outgrowing it!

 

My 7 year old will hem and haw forever. Then when he finally settles down he buzzes through and in the end wonders why he didn't just get it over with.

 

I do cut him a lot of slack. He is young. I homeschool so I can do what works for him. But really now, he can make the biggest production out of absolutely nothing.

 

exactly, especially the bolded

[PIE!]

Crisis over. After about an hour and a half of stubbornness, she said in her sweetest voice, "Can we make a deal? If I do all my schoolwork without complaining will you read 'Anne of Green Gables' to me while I pet the cat?"

 

My response, "Of course!"

 

Um, yes. I would do that for her anyway, and she knows it. ;)

 

Now she's happily dividing.

[dbmamaz]

i hate punishment too, but if i could do something to make my crazy-annoying 9 yo boy act like she did afterwards? OMG!

 

instead, i let him play as much as he wants, knowing he cant get back on electronics until his work is done. One day this week he was still working at 5:15, but there was no drama. I figure as long as he does his work, i'm not going to stress.