Newbie & need help w/ reading and math dd mild MR

[Guest Jershay]

My dd is 9 and has been diagnosed as mildly MR? She is mentally 5 and going into the 2nd grade. She goes to public school and goes to special Ed class 2 hrs a day and is tutored 2 hrs a week and I want to do a program to help at home. She is really starting to notice she is behind. I just want to help her to achieve as much as she can.

I do not know what to do.

Was looking at the Barton program but not sure of it. Also did not want to spend all that $ if it wont help and don't want to over load and frustrate her.

Her math scores are extremely low too.

 

Does anyone have any advice on what I could possible do?

 

Thanks for any help

[Dobela]

For math I would look at Math U See. The man who wrote it also has a child with Down Syndrome and has used it with him.

[Guest Jershay]

Kindsa I have so many questions for you. I do not know anyone that is in a situation like mine. My dh is in denial and thinks that she is ok and that both the diagnosis is wrong and she will "out grow" it. Kimi is so outgoing and it's hard to tell when u first meet her.

I am scared to death for her! I am curious at what her max age will be! Neuropscy thought maybe 12 and the hardest thing for me is he said she will never be independent. I just don't know what to think! We adopted her when she was 2 and she has always been very delayed. We thought she would grow out of it or something, but the diagnosis amazed us.

I homeschool my 19 yr old dyslexic son but I don't think I could her, I don't feel patient or capable to help her. She makes me feel overwhelmed.

I have tried researching it some but didn't get to far. Do you know of any sites or books that may help me?

 

Thanks for any help you can offer me. :)

[lauranc]

Hi,

I also have a child with mild ID (MR) and here's what's helped her:

 

loved, loved Jolly Phonics for learning to read http://jollylearning.co.uk/overview-about-jolly-phonics/

 

All About Speling (there's also All About Reading) http://www.allaboutlearningpress.com/all-about-spelling

 

For math:

we used Right Start A and B with some success... (took years to go through though and she didn't master all of it) http://rightstartmath.com/

 

Just started on this book (although she does not have Down Syndrome.. she fits the 'other hands on learners' bit) http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-People-Syndrome-Hands-Learners/dp/1890627429

 

Take care...

[Ottakee]

I have 3 adopted with special needs.

 

For reading, the best thing I have found is http://www.iseesam.com or http://www.3rsplus.com You can find the first 2 sets free on line to print out.

 

If she has a adoption subsidy or could get one, fill out the papers to get the mental impairment added.

[kiwi3129]

First of all, hugs to you. We went through this situation earlier this year. Our dd8 was also adopted (internationally) and, although she has always had challenges, we were not at all prepared to hear that she possibly has mr. Here is my thread from earlier this year http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/showthread.php?t=359160

 

I would first say to you that it will take some time for you to grieve. When we were first given the results of her testing I cried daily for weeks. I really felt like I had been punched in the gut. Now four months later I don't cry much at all. I'm not saying I'm not still sad about the situation for her, but I've pretty much accepted that this is the new normal for us. So give yourself some time to let everything sink in.

 

At the recommendation of our educational psychologist, we have not been doing any academics with her. We have her in OT and SLT, and what I do with her at home is derived through working with her two therapists. We will be adding academics back in when our new school year starts in September, and I'll admit that I'm nervous. I mentioned to her last week that we're going to start working on reading again. (We had about two years of unsuccessful attempts using several different materials. Her not being able to learn to read is actually what led to our having her tested). She looked at me and said, "But what if I can't do it?" :crying: Based on the recommendations I received when I posted my original thread, I'm going to be using Stevenson Reading and Teaching Math to People with Down Syndrome and Other Hands-On Learners with her. We're already using Handwriting without Tears as part of her OT, so we will be continuing that. If these materials don't work I'll come up with my plan B!

 

Right now I'm just focusing on getting her as independent as possible. I try to find the balance between knowing she learns at her own pace and in her own way and not putting limits on her right now. Time will tell how independent she's going to be able to be. We'll have to deal with that over the next years as it becomes clearer what she will be capable of.

 

I know I haven't told you anything that other posters haven't told you, but I hope this helps. It really is a process, and even though it doesn't seem possible right now, how you feel about things will get better in time. As several people told me right after we found out, she is still who she has always been. I know that it's hard to think of them not being able to be independent though. We're older parents, and I do worry about what will happen to her after we're gone if she is not able to be independent.

 

:grouphug:

[Ottakee]

Kinsa--you said this all so well.

 

I have 2 that are mentally impaired and one more borderline.

 

A good resource for kids with mental impairments is Special Olympics. It gets them involved with sports on their level (and some of these kids are VERY good) and gives them a great social outlet/peer group.

 

While you certainly can homeschool all the way, we chose to put our kids into school at 7th grade. That was the break in our local homeschool between the elementary programs and the secondary programs. My kids did well in the K-6 programs/activities/field trips, but we in no way ready to make the leap to the 7th-12th grade group. By the time they started school I had taught them to read, spell and do basic math. They continue their academics but also get some life skills classes and lots of peers.

[Guest Jershay]

Thanks so much for all of your help! I appreciate you taking the time to respond. It helps knowing there are other people out there facing this too!

We found out about a year ago and Im still having a hard time with it all! I just want so much for her. I just get so scared for her and I have so many mixed emotions about it all.

I really do not know how to handel thinking she will always be a child in her mind. I guess everyone I know that have these problems is scummy, has relationship problems, in abusive relationships, do drugs, and/or have children and dont take care of them. I'm sorry to be so negative I just don't want this for her or our family! wow! I sound horrible and selfish!!!. I just keep trying to put her in Gods hands.

I often wonder why God allowed me to adopted a child with special needs I am not a patient person or the best person for the job, but i am very thankful He gave me Kim. I just don't want to mess up. she deserves so much more than I can offer her!

Sorry I worry all the time! especially since School is fixing to start and I get soo nervous for her. She is nervous about it this year. She asked me if her new teacher would be mad if she could not read the book she wants her to read.

Do your children have good friends? The kids just don't understand kim and she wants to be accepted so bad.

It is so hard to watch kids and adults expect things out of her she is not capable of doing especially when it is family

I'm sorry to keep going on. I have felt so alone with all of this.

 

Thanks for listening!

[lauranc]

About friends/friendship:

my daughter does not really have friends. She is very close to her younger brother though, and they spend a lot of time together. He 'gets' her-- and that helps.

 

I am pursuing some kind of a play/social group at the moment (slowly but surely). It is more *my* need than hers though, as she has never asked to have anyone over and seems entirely happy playing on her own.

 

I agree with Kinsa in that the ARC does not seem to offer anything for kids who are not in their late teens--- I have found it very difficult trying to find support. I still do not have any in my area.

 

I know there have to be other local kids who are 'like' my daughter... finding them has been tough though!

[lauranc]

Sorry for the late response. them that even though he is 9yo and appears normal, he is cognitively a 5yo and to treat him as such.

 

For a child with mild MR, their final cognitive "age" will be somewhere between 9 and 12 years old. A mental age of twelve years old will only happen under the best of circumstances. My son's IQ is 60, so I expect that he will ultimately be functioning at about a ten year old level. The doctors assure us that he will be able to live semi-independently some day (ie, he will be able to live alone, but will need to be checked upon each day, especially with regards to finances and self-care). They assure me that he will be able to hold employment, but not really a "career" (ie, stocking shelves, mowing lawns, etc.)

 

 

 

I am interested in this information. I wonder if this is what your neuropsych. told you? Did your he/she tell you that the final cognitive age will be 9-12?

 

We were not told anything at all about 'what to expect' with regards to cognitive age-- and it's something I've been trying to see if I can find out.

 

Thanks!

[Rose in BC]

My story is similar. In May my 15 yr old ds had a psych ed test that determined he had a mild intellectual disability (actually she used the word retarded). My dh and I were in shock. Actually we didn't believe it. But, after a week of crying, I calmed down, remembered he was still the same child we had before the diagnosis, and began to think things through.

 

Obviously we now do believe it. Turns out, and this according to the dr, the best thing we did was homeschool him. We adopted him at the age of four which is one of the reasons we decided to homeschool. This had allowed him to acquire good, solid life skills.

 

This is all new for us so we are trying to figure out what to do for the rest of his high school years. (the real funny is thinking through the years of Latin we subjected on this child :)). Although in a strange way I think it did benefit him.