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*Can I/May I* Do you use them properly in speaking and writing?


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well, it is definitely ingrained deep inside of me to say, "may i speak to.." when calling someone. as a teenager, my father would not let anyone talk to me unless they asked properly.

 

friend: is amy home?

 

my father: sure!

 

......long awkward pause.....

 

friend: ummm, is amy home?

 

my father: sure!

 

friend: may i speak to her please?

 

father: oh! of course! i just thought you wanted to know if she was home. hold on just a minute and i'll get her!

 

...and if they ever asked, "can i speak to amy?"...he'd do the same spiel as above and say...."oh, i just thought you wanted to know if you could speak to her".

 

 

so yes! we do not say "can i speak to...?" and we do not say "is yada yada home?", lol. always MAY i speak to...

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I never use "May I" when speaking and I do not try to get my kids to, either. For me, it is just too formal. I never hear anyone speaking that way and it would just feel too intentional and forced if I tried to do it. It would not bother me if someone else said "May I", but since I never hear anyone do that, it would probably catch my attention.

 

Lisa

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well, it is definitely ingrained deep inside of me to say, "may i speak to.." when calling someone. as a teenager, my father would not let anyone talk to me unless they asked properly.

 

friend: is amy home?

 

my father: sure!

 

......long awkward pause.....

 

friend: ummm, is amy home?

 

my father: sure!

 

friend: may i speak to her please?

 

father: oh! of course! i just thought you wanted to know if she was home. hold on just a minute and i'll get her!

 

...and if they ever asked, "can i speak to amy?"...he'd do the same spiel as above and say...."oh, i just thought you wanted to know if you could speak to her".

 

 

so yes! we do not say "can i speak to...?" and we do not say "is yada yada home?", lol. always MAY i speak to...

 

:lol: I can imagine that conversation.... I really don't hear too many people mixing the two words... I wonder if it's somewhat regional, where the two are mixed up more, or rather, used interchangeably. I don't get why some people view "May" as the formal of "Can". I know my English teacher in high school would correct people for using them incorrectly but other than her, I don't remember others making it an issue, but again, I don't remember it happening often.

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Yes, I do. I'm mean like that. "Can i", "will you", and "may i" just drive me nuts when used improperly.

 

My parents made us use proper grammar all of the time. If I ever said, "Can I...," they would always reply with, "I don't know, can you?"

Edited by ds4159
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Yes, we try to be proper.

 

DD will say, "Can I use your phone?" and I'll hold it up and say, "yes, you can" and wait for him to say, "may I use your phone."

 

I think it goes back to reading a Baby Sitter Club book in the late 80s/early 90s. Claudia's older sister was a stickler for language, and I am pretty sure that's where I learned the difference between can and may. :)

 

But, I digress.

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I am a stickler about this also, always have been. As a young child my parents always were specific about can, may and will. During school, I picked up the slang of "can I" while meaning "may I". I was cured, through much taunting and teasing! :tongue_smilie:

 

Now, my children use the words correctly.

 

However, where it really causes me a problem is that I never say YES, I say "yes, you may." This is trained in HARD... I can barely, if at all stop myself. So, I have conversations with friends where they start with:

 

Can I use your phone?

 

Yes, you may. (handing the phone)

 

Oh, I am sorry, I should have said, may I.... (blushing and embarrassed)

 

My, mistake. I was not intending to correct you, I am VERY sorry. (also blushing and embarrassed!)

 

 

 

The one my children are consistently corrected on is when to say "she and I" or "me and her". I even kindly correct their friends, who BTW are 9 or younger.

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