Why is my 6yo son going through such an intense 'attachment to Mommy' phase?!

[*********]

Moose. He's such a sweetie. But this is starting to worry me, as well as drive me a little batty. He's going through an intense attachment phase with me right now, and that seems, I don't know; strange? Zee wasn't THIS 'bad' about it at 6 years old; but my boys are so different, I should have named them 'Night' and 'Day', so I guess that means next to nothing. :tongue_smilie:

 

I started noticing it about two months ago. Here are some examples:

 

If he is downstairs in the basement playing with Zee, and decides to come to the main floor for a drink, he will check around for me until he sees me. If I happen to be in the bathroom, and he can't find me, he'll start calling for me and getting upset.

 

He does not want me to take the garbage out and leave him inside the house with his brother. We rent a townhouse, so I have to walk the garbage to a dumpster. I haven't timed it, but there's no way it takes more than *literally* two minutes. I can see our front door the entire time.

 

We had a chiropractor visit a few weeks ago for Zee. I had to use the bathroom. It was probably 12 feet down the hall from the waiting area. Moose could SEE the door from where he was sitting. I showed him where I was going. By the time I got back, he was crying. Because he missed me. :confused: I was in there for less than two minutes. Zee was with him, and we go to a very family friendly, small chiropractor.

 

Now the kicker. I went out last night with my girlfriends. I do this ONCE a month. I leave around 7pm, and get home between 11 and midnight. Dh told me when I got home that, around 8:15, Moose said 'I hope Mommy comes home soon', then laid his head down and started to cry that he missed me. Dh was of course able to cheer him up/distract him. But good grief. Those 4-5 hours, once a month, are almost literally the only moments I am NOT with my children. I may run a quick errand once every week or two to grab something (I'm talking a less than 10 minute errand), but that's it. Dh does take the boys out about once a month or so as well, to go get his coffee with him or something.

 

So I'm just curious if anyone else has had this with an older child. There's not been any trauma, or big life changes, or anything like that to spark this. I've not been away from him more or less than ever before. He's not a fearful child, we don't live in an unsafe neighborhood, and he loves to spend time with his dad. I'm just a little worried, I guess. I mean, I need to be able to use the bathroom without him crying, you know? And when I try to get him to talk about it, he always says he 'doesn't know' what he's worried about/afraid of.

 

Any ideas? Any btdt? Any encouragement that he won't be doing this forever? :tongue_smilie:

[Julie Smith]

Not that bad, or that intense. But my boys have gone through a phase were they really wanted Mommy or Daddy.

[mom2att]

All three of mine have gone through this, at right around 6 - 7 years old. One would follow me all around the house. I could walk out to the garage to do laundry, count to three, and she would appear right behind me. With my youngest I had to stand in a certain spot during his entire baseball practices, because if he couldn't see me he would cry.

 

For us it was a stage that they all went through which lasted about 6 months to a year. They are all past it now, none the worse for the wear. It is exhausting when you're in the middle of it, but it will pass.

 

Feel better?

[*********]

All three of mine have gone through this, at right around 6 - 7 years old. One would follow me all around the house. I could walk out to the garage to do laundry, count to three, and she would appear right behind me. With my youngest I had to stand in a certain spot during his entire baseball practices, because if he couldn't see me he would cry.

 

For us it was a stage that they all went through which lasted about 6 months to a year. They are all past it now, none the worse for the wear. It is exhausting when you're in the middle of it, but it will pass.

 

Feel better?

 

Yes, that does make me feel better. :001_smile:

[sbgrace]

My seven year old is very much like that about his daddy. It's been going on close to a year--maybe 8 months. His twin has never been that extreme. I chalk it up to personality.

[Catwoman]

I don't think it's a big deal, and I think it's completely normal and nothing to worry about.

 

It may be a nuisance now, but one day he'll stop wanting to be with you as much , and you'll look back at these times as the "good old days." :001_smile: