Fellow introverts - what do you do to stay sane?

[tristangrace]

Man, I hear ya!

 

I just got back from a week's vacation. My kids are old enough to be "easier"--no one nursing, no one in diapers, no one crying when I walk out the door. My kids slept in the same condo as my in-laws, while my husband and I stayed in a unit across the hall, so I was never "on call" evening, at night, or in the morning. My husband put the kids to bed every night, and there were three other adults to supervise/play with the kids 90%. ALL THAT, and I STILL found myself craving solitude!!! It really surprised me, but it's true. The last afternoon we were there, I finally did ask my in-laws for the keys to the vehicle (my family was car-less), made some excuse about wanting to take bird photos, and left for about an hour and a half.

 

Yes, I am an introvert with strong needs for "alone time." No, I have not sufficiently trained my kids to leave me alone while we are all at home. No, little computer breaks during do not do it for me, either--for one thing, it's not really "quality" alone time for me even if the kiddos did not collect around me . . . and they do.

 

In most ways, it's easier now that the kids are a bit older, but they also go to bed later, and I am realizing how much I counted on having the after-bedtime hours "off." Even when I put all the kids to bed, I don't FEEL like I'm done until they are all asleep, so my on-call hours have gotten longer.

 

I think scheduling in regular alone time a couple days a week is FABULOUS. Hope it works out for you. If it doesn't, KEEP TRYING. It is not good to suck it up until you are a crabby, shrewish wreck (which is a fair description of me under those circumstances). We are trying Saturday mornings: my husband takes the kids to the park for a couple of hours without me. (A double-plus bonus--the kids need more outdoors time and I dislike the park.)

 

My first choice is for everyone else to leave and give me the house to myself! Second choice is going out to dinner by myself, with a good book. Oh--and I was fortunate this semester to find a theater class that accepts all three of my kids' ages and does not requite me to be present--whoo hoo!

[Denisemomof4]

My dh REALLY takes my needs to heart. I have not been one to need time alone before, I preferred time away with friends. As I age, I really do crave more time alone. Dh can see how the kids are constantly after me and always have been, and he does try to lessen my load. He will say, "mom is reading! Give her a break," but then he, too, will interrupt me if he wants tp. I spoke to him about it a few times, I have yelled at least once. Now I block him out. I block them ALL out. In nicer weather I will go hang out in the barn alone or just read outside. During the winter, if I need time alone, I voice it, then if anyone interrupts, I *totally* ignore them. If I do hear them, I don't let it show. They are SO MUCH BETTER now.

 

i am not saying I went about it the right way, but instead of getting angry over having to repeat, I handled it the above way.:001_smile:

 

I really do need time every once in awhile simply to complete a thought.

[MamaSheep]

Ok, so I've (hopefully) carved out a bit of time. Help me make a list of things to do with it. :) So far I've come up with these...but it seems like I used to have more imagination.

 

Read a book

Work on a quilt

Write / research for writing

Go to a museum or exhibit

Go to a park

Work in the garden (I wonder if they'd leave me alone if I was just out in the yard?)

[Katydid]

I am a huge introvert and I agree that my need for alone time is the same as a need for water, food and air. Thankfully, my DH is an introvert too, so he gets it. I am tandem nursing my 5mo and 2yo and cosleeping, so I'm really feeling touched out right now.

 

My best solution for taking time off is shutting myself behind a closed, locked door (taking a bath, relaxing in the school room or my bedroom) and putting something in my ears (ear plugs or headphones). Our house is small and I can hear everything otherwise, so I need the sound blocked to feel like I am truly "off duty". Going out by myself helps, too, but it's not as refreshing as being totally alone. As soon as my babies are weaned, the first thing I'm going to do is go on a weekend retreat by myself. Oh, that sounds so heavenly!

 

I hope you can get your DH to really trust that you need alone time, even if he doesn't understand it. Maybe let him read this thread so he can see that you are not the only introvert mama out there?