Considering relocating to another region: need feedback! (Sorry, long post)

[HSMom2One]

Please bear with me as I write this all out...I know there are a lot of people here that have moved around much more than we have. The idea of relocating so far from home isn't something we've dealt with though. I'm excited and scared all at once!! I would love to get your feedback, suggestions, stories -- anything!

 

We have just started to daydream about the possibility of moving to another region of the U.S. Actually, I've been running this over and over and over in my mind for the past week since talking to some dear friends that have just moved from their farm in Oregon all the way to the St. Cloud, Minnesota area. Our friends threw out an invitation for us to consider moving to the same area, for one reason because our dd's are really close and want to stay connected, and for another reason because our friends know that we're facing a major transition time, looking for a new direction.

 

Our friends told us about the area they are moving to, and it sounded amazing. I've been online researching and am getting more enthused all of the time. My parents were born and raised in S. Dakota, and the idea of going back to my family's midwestern roots has always pulled at my heart strings. Other than applying for grad school in the midwest some years ago, I've just never had the opportunity to consider it seriously. We're now at a great place in our life to do that though. This isn't something we'd just jump into, we would have to take care of some major things here first and then there would be the matter of dh getting lined up with a job and all of the things that go along with a major move. I think it would take at least a year to do all this, if not maybe more -- but even so, dh and I are both open to the possibility.

 

For the past decade we've had one hardship after another, mainly because of two separate job displacements for dh (both for reasons completely out of his control), the last having been due to a minor stroke he suffered last year. Dh is 59 yo and is now facing the challenge of retraining for yet another line of work. He's in the process of looking at programs now that will fit his areas of interest, which is one of the things that we would need to allow time for. Once he's more settled with all that though, it would be so nice to have a fresh, brand new start somewhere.

 

Getting dh's career back on track is our main issue, and seeing that our dd's education isn't compromised is next. From what I read online, Minnesota may be a great place for both of these things because of their stronger economy and the fact that hs'ing there is very doable (along with the fact that they have some of the best private schools in the country). As for me, I'd love to experience four distinct seasons during the year rather than the kind of mild weather and humidity we have here in the PNW. I'd also like to take part in cultural things in a totally different region than I've always known, and it would be awesome for our dd to find all the opportunities that are there that we don't have here. Now back to the economy -- from the sounds of it, the economy in that part of the country is a whole lot better than ours is here on the west coast. I know that truthfully the whole country is struggling, but from what I'm reading some areas are doing better than others, and Minnesota seems to be one of them.

 

We do have family here that would be hard to leave, but if there was an opportunity to improve the quality of our lives I know we would find ways to make it work, and I'm sure our family would be very supportive. I also have a job that I love that I would have to give up, but I know in my heart that I could probably do the same thing where ever we live. Of these, the very hardest consideration is leaving family.

 

Has anyone moved from the PNW to the Midwest? Are we just totally out of our minds to think this way? (I know, I know...the extreme winter weather may be shocking to us!) Other than taking a vacation and spending time exploring the area before jumping into anything, what advice do you have to offer?

 

If you've read this far, thanks so much for letting me share.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Aelwydd]

Please bear with me as I write this all out...I know there are a lot of people here that have moved around much more than we have. The idea of relocating so far from home isn't something we've dealt with though. I'm excited and scared all at once!! I would love to get your feedback, suggestions, stories -- anything!

 

We have just started to daydream about the possibility of moving to another region of the U.S. Actually, I've been running this over and over and over in my mind for the past week since talking to some dear friends that have just moved from their farm in Oregon all the way to the St. Cloud, Minnesota area. Our friends threw out an invitation for us to consider moving to the same area, for one reason because our dd's are really close and want to stay connected, and for another reason because our friends know that we're facing a major transition time, looking for a new direction.

 

Our friends told us about the area they are moving to, and it sounded amazing. I've been online researching and am getting more enthused all of the time. My parents were born and raised in S. Dakota, and the idea of going back to my family's midwestern roots has always pulled at my heart strings. Other than applying for grad school in the midwest some years ago, I've just never had the opportunity to consider it seriously. We're now at a great place in our life to do that though. This isn't something we'd just jump into, we would have to take care of some major things here first and then there would be the matter of dh getting lined up with a job and all of the things that go along with a major move. I think it would take at least a year to do all this, if not maybe more -- but even so, dh and I are both open to the possibility.

 

For the past decade we've had one hardship after another, mainly because of two separate job displacements for dh (both for reasons completely out of his control), the last having been due to a minor stroke he suffered last year. Dh is 59 yo and is now facing the challenge of retraining for yet another line of work. He's in the process of looking at programs now that will fit his areas of interest, which is one of the things that we would need to allow time for. Once he's more settled with all that though, it would be so nice to have a fresh, brand new start somewhere.

 

Getting dh's career back on track is our main issue, and seeing that our dd's education isn't compromised is next. From what I read online, Minnesota may be a great place for both of these things because of their stronger economy and the fact that hs'ing there is very doable (along with the fact that they have some of the best private schools in the country). As for me, I'd love to experience four distinct seasons during the year rather than the kind of mild weather and humidity we have here in the PNW. I'd also like to take part in cultural things in a totally different region than I've always known, and it would be awesome for our dd to find all the opportunities that are there that we don't have here. Now back to the economy -- from the sounds of it, the economy in that part of the country is a whole lot better than ours is here on the west coast. I know that truthfully the whole country is struggling, but from what I'm reading some areas are doing better than others, and Minnesota seems to be one of them.

 

We do have family here that would be hard to leave, but if there was an opportunity to improve the quality of our lives I know we would find ways to make it work, and I'm sure our family would be very supportive. I also have a job that I love that I would have to give up, but I know in my heart that I could probably do the same thing where ever we live. Of these, the very hardest consideration is leaving family.

 

Has anyone moved from the PNW to the Midwest? Are we just totally out of our minds to think this way? (I know, I know...the extreme winter weather may be shocking to us!) Other than taking a vacation and spending time exploring the area before jumping into anything, what advice do you have to offer?

 

If you've read this far, thanks so much for letting me share.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

I don't think you're out of your mind at all. Yes, it's hard to leave family behind. Dh and I have been planning for years to move from Texas to Canada, to one of either two particular provinces we have our collective eye on. A big reason is the stronger economy. Another is we want to give our son the opportunity to live in a different place, and meet new people.

 

One big positive is that you have some good friends already out there. So, you have at least some support already in place. That's a huge boon. And if your dh finds more lucrative work, ironically it may free up more time and money down the road to spend with your family in the PNW. You know, they're just an airplane ride away.

 

ETA: Oh, and I forgot to add: after having made several big moves like this myself, my number one piece of advice when you get to a new spot is to concentrate on the positives. It's easy when you feel homesick to remember your old place fondly and wish you'd never moved away. So, then you look around you and start adding up all the cool and amazing things your new home offers you. Like, when I'm missing Pennsylvania, I'll remind myself that we have Six Flags 5 minutes away, tons and tons of amusement and entertainment venues here, miles of bike trails, etc., etc. IOW, focus on what you've gained!

Edited February 2, 2012 by Aelwydd

[LAS in LA]

Hi! Your situation sounds very exciting! We have lived on the East Coast, in the Mid-West, and now in the Deep South (all within the last 6 years; no, not military). Here's what comes to mind when I read your story:

 

- You will be moving away from your family. This is a big deal to me (most all our family is on the E.Coast). Yes, they're a plane ride away, but plane rides are expensive and we miss out on the everyday/weekend interactions. We wonder about our parents as they get older and may have health problems -- will we be happy with our situation then?

 

- Your friends may or may not stay in MN. Depending on them to the exclusion of forming other friendships in MN would not be the best idea, IMHO.

 

- Moving to a new region of the country can be a big shock. Not always at first. There's still Wal-Mart and everyone speaks English. (Sort of. :D) But the overall mentality of people can be very different. The little things can get very irritating after a while. [Why in the world can't people here return their shopping carts instead of leaving them all over the parking lot???!!! What is wrong with these people???!!!] Depending on the area, "natives" may never treat you as "one of us" even if they are quite friendly. Coming from college and graduate school settings (where nobody is a "native"), DH and I really underestimated this. We haven't been in either place very long, but have met families who have lived in these areas for 20 yrs. who are still treated as outsiders. In a larger area, this may be less of a problem. Bottom line: Are you willing to adapt to a new place and probably a new mind-set?

 

All that said, living in a new region can be a great experience for children and parents. The new places to explore, new foods to try, and new traditions to experience do override some of the negatives. For one thing, I'm more and more amazed that such different groups of people can stick together as one country, (and that Christians in such different places are worshipping the same God and affirming the same doctrines).

 

I hope this didn't all sound too negative. I'm sure others will chime in with great advice. Very best wishes as you think about the move!

[Parrothead]

Has anyone moved from the PNW to the Midwest?

No. But I've moved from GA to SC to AZ to MT to ME to the other side of ME. And that is only since I've met dh. :D I'm a military brat so moving is second nature to me. Actually staying in one place for too long make me antsy.

 

Are we just totally out of our minds to think this way?

No.

 

(I know, I know...the extreme winter weather may be shocking to us!)

You get used to it. :D

 

Other than taking a vacation and spending time exploring the area before jumping into anything, what advice do you have to offer?

If you can vacation there, that is more than we've done. Quite a few times we didn't get a house hunting trip and had only photos and video of the house we moved into.

 

Don't buy a house right away. Rent for at least 6 months so get a feel for the area.

 

Contact the homeschool support group in the local area to get a feel for what they do so you can jump in pretty quick. It will be easier because you have friends in the new area.

 

I suppose I've done it so many times that it doesn't phase me to pack up and move again. It would be easier to answer specific logistic questions instead of trying to think of things you might now think of.

[HSMom2One]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! My remarks in green below.

 

I don't think you're out of your mind at all. Thank you!

 

One big positive is that you have some good friends already out there. So, you have at least some support already in place. That's a huge boon. And if your dh finds more lucrative work, ironically it may free up more time and money down the road to spend with your family in the PNW. You know, they're just an airplane ride away.

I had the same thoughts as you've said here. Having some support in place would be awesome, yet we know that we'd have to forge new friendships beyond the one family. And as to dh's change of work, if we DO make the move it would have to be with a very optimistic outlook along those lines. And I would have to have some assurance that I'd be able to come back for visits in the summer.

 

ETA: Oh, and I forgot to add: after having made several big moves like this myself, my number one piece of advice when you get to a new spot is to concentrate on the positives. It's easy when you feel homesick to remember your old place fondly and wish you'd never moved away. So, then you look around you and start adding up all the cool and amazing things your new home offers you. Excellent point! Thank you for that word of advice.

 

Hi! Your situation sounds very exciting! We have lived on the East Coast, in the Mid-West, and now in the Deep South (all within the last 6 years; no, not military). Here's what comes to mind when I read your story:

 

- You will be moving away from your family. This is a big deal to me (most all our family is on the E.Coast). Yes, they're a plane ride away, but plane rides are expensive and we miss out on the everyday/weekend interactions. We wonder about our parents as they get older and may have health problems -- will we be happy with our situation then? Actually, my elderly mother would have to move with us. She lives with our family already. :~) This is one matter to consider, all in itself. Uprooting an aging parent is a very serious thing, but it just may be a wonderful change for her too.

 

The really hard part of this decision is that I have some grandchildren here that I really love and want to remain in relationship with. I don't see them as often as I want to as it is now because they live about 50 miles away from us. We do our best to see each other about once per month....but living in Minnesota would see like the other side of the earth! But on another hand, if our quality of life improved then we'd be happier grandparents for them. It's either that possibility, or for them to grow up with grandparents that are constantly under stress over finances and complications on the job front for Grandpa. Either way, it's tough.

 

- Your friends may or may not stay in MN. Depending on them to the exclusion of forming other friendships in MN would not be the best idea, IMHO. Uh, yeah....we do realize that, and good grief -- I wouldn't even think about excluding forming other friendships. I would never put that kind of pressure on anyone.

 

- Moving to a new region of the country can be a big shock. Not always at first. There's still Wal-Mart and everyone speaks English. (Sort of. :D) But the overall mentality of people can be very different. The little things can get very irritating after a while. [Why in the world can't people here return their shopping carts instead of leaving them all over the parking lot???!!! What is wrong with these people???!!!] Depending on the area, "natives" may never treat you as "one of us" even if they are quite friendly. Coming from college and graduate school settings (where nobody is a "native"), DH and I really underestimated this. We haven't been in either place very long, but have met families who have lived in these areas for 20 yrs. who are still treated as outsiders. In a larger area, this may be less of a problem. Bottom line: Are you willing to adapt to a new place and probably a new mind-set?

Very good points! Yes, we'd have to be willing to adapt. The fact that my husband has lived in foreign countries a number of times in the past would really help us. He's talked about that very thing.

 

All that said, living in a new region can be a great experience for children and parents. The new places to explore, new foods to try, and new traditions to experience do override some of the negatives. For one thing, I'm more and more amazed that such different groups of people can stick together as one country, (and that Christians in such different places are worshipping the same God and affirming the same doctrines). Absolutely!

 

I hope this didn't all sound too negative. I'm sure others will chime in with great advice. Very best wishes as you think about the move! Thank you for your thoughtful comments.

 

...Actually staying in one place for too long make me antsy. Funny that you say this. I've lived in the same state my entire life and am always wondering how much I've missed by staying put so long. I'm SO in the mood for change!

 

Are we just totally out of our minds to think this way?

No. Thank you!

 

(I know, I know...the extreme winter weather may be shocking to us!)

You get used to it. :D That sounds positive! :thumbup:

 

Other than taking a vacation and spending time exploring the area before jumping into anything, what advice do you have to offer?

If you can vacation there, that is more than we've done. Quite a few times we didn't get a house hunting trip and had only photos and video of the house we moved into. I'm not sure I could be THAT brave! If we could go get a feel for the place at least once, I would feel a lot better.

Don't buy a house right away. Rent for at least 6 months so get a feel for the area. Absolutely!

 

Contact the homeschool support group in the local area to get a feel for what they do so you can jump in pretty quick. It will be easier because you have friends in the new area. Great idea. Thanks!

 

Well, you're all getting me thinking, and that is what I was hoping for when I shared this whole idea. :lol:

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[MistyMountain]

.

[HSMom2One]

I haven't moved from the PNW to the midwest but we did move from the east coast to the west and then to Alaska. We are hoping to move again if we sell our place for job oppurtunity. I don't think you are crazy to move for career oppurtunities. We are very far from family right now and may move closer depending on jobs. It is hard to be away from family. I feel so guilty about our parents and siblings not seeing our kids very much. There are times where I need a break and wish I had family living nearby. There are times when I wonder if I made the right decision to move so far away but overall I never regretted a move and they have been good oppurtunities.

 

We are hoping to be closer to family and in an area we would like but if there are good oppurtunities elsewhere then we will take it. It takes time adjusting to a new area but I love living in Alaska and we would stay here if the cost of living was a little less and there were more jobs in dh's field here. If you like what you read about an area you would probably like it but it might take some time to adjust and make friends.

 

I don't think you are out of your minds.

 

Thanks very much for the encouraging remarks. I know it would be hard to fight the feelings of guilt, even though we have all the modern technology to stay in touch with those we would leave behind. And yes, we'd be able to visit at least once a year. Even so, just knowing that we couldn't plan family gatherings or have sleepovers with the kids as often and whenever we want to would be so hard! In all, I think that is the greatest issue of all for me. Yet despite this, the possibility of a better quality of life in every other way would add years to our lives and meet every other need.

 

This will be a very hard decision to make!

 

:lol:

 

Lucinda