Halcyon Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 We began WWS today, and I would like feedback on my son's summary narration. It is not quite like the examples given, but he does follow most criteria in the rubric. This includes all errors, exactly as written. "Mr. and Mrs. Pepin couldn't go to work because they had toads in their shoes. They went to Mr. Bradshaw and he had toads in every pair, too! They whent home and tried to figure out how to get the toads out, but even their ingenios daughter, Irving, could not find a solution." I explained that Irving was a boy's name :tongue_smilie:. I think he should have made mention that Mr. Bradshaw was their neighbour, no? Thanks for feedback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Is this your 9 yo? I don't know the program, but I'm quite impressed with this. Of course, writing skills here are...ahem.....moving along slowly. At any rate, it looks good to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 Is this your 9 yo? I don't know the program, but I'm quite impressed with this. Of course, writing skills here are...ahem.....moving along slowly. At any rate, it looks good to me! This is my 9 year old, yes--6 year old is still using WWE3. Thanks-I am annoyed that he spelled went wrong, but that's standard 9 year old brain, I guess :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in SW WA Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I think your ds did a great job. I love his use of 'ingenious' and he does well with commas. Dd8 started today.... The Pepins have such bizarre problems that one time they couldn’t even get their shoes on because they found frogs sitting comfortably in them! They were so struck with suspicion that they went to their fine neighbor and saw frogs in his shoes too, for nobody knew where or how the fat, ugly frogs came from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 I think your ds did a great job. I love his use of 'ingenious' and he does well with commas. Dd8 started today.... The Pepins have such bizarre problems that one time they couldn’t even get their shoes on because they found frogs sitting comfortably in them! They were so struck with suspicion that they went to their fine neighbor and saw frogs in his shoes too, for nobody knew where or how the fat, ugly frogs came from. I love the "struck with suspicion"--very nice :) My only suggestion would be in the first sentence: perhaps break it up into two sentences where the 'that' is. Not sure if this is in the rubric (need to go back and look) but was she supposed to mention that the Pepins went home? Great imagery! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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