Need ideas for dd's 18th B'day just after Christmas

[Isabella]

DD is 18 on Dec. 28th. She swears she will never have a child around Christmas, and with all the disappointments each year I swear I never will again either!!:tongue_smilie:

 

She's the type of girl that is people oriented mainly, she's also (without sounding mean, hopefully) a self-focused person. If things don't go the way she envisaged, it's not good enough, and it's quite a disappointment. She feels that she's dealt well with many years of disappointing birthdays, and it's true - she has.

 

We always try to make her feel special, but it's not ever as good as she'd like it to be. It doesn't differ at all from my other girls bday's. And we rarely do parties, so it's not like they get parties and she doesn't.

 

We quite often invite several people over, but mostly it doesn't work out because they are away after Christmas, or whatever. Also family has usually just gotten together for Christmas, so aren't keen on traveling again so soon (most of family live between 1-4hrs away.).

 

DD talked earlier (a few months ago) about organizing an 18th party sometime early December. Then she had a falling out with a good guy friend (her best friend), and she spiraled into a depressed time, and didn't want a party after all. She refused every time I brought up the topic.

 

Finally, just a week ago, I decided that she'd be disappointed if we did nothing for her birthday, so I'd try to organize a little surprise party with 10 of the friends that she has quite a bit to do with. I knew it would be a bit dicey with such short notice, (it was to be the weekend just gone). As it was only 5 could come, but then 2 (including the only driver, and they live 2hrs away) remembered other plans that they'd forgotten. That brought it down to 3 non drivers. So I had to cancel it. I made the mistake of telling her, and she was so upset, and cried that no-one thought she was worth anything. She did get over it, but I still think it's just another thing to be festering under the surface.

 

So my dilemma now is to figure out a way to make her birthday special. We could try to organize another get together for sometime in January after the Christmas rush, but I think it would feel like the ship has already sailed, IYKWIM? I have some nice pressies (personalized pink rego plate for her car, expensive perfume that she loves, 18th glass jewellery box, 18th glass photo frame, 18th silver photo album,). But I think it's going to still be a very 'meh' day! Do we just let it be, or do we try really hard to do something more to make it special?

 

I do have a little tradition, that each kid has their first domestic (within Australia) flight paid for, so maybe I could arrange to have her fly somewhere for a week, but she'd be bored alone, and it doesn't work out that any of us can go (except perhaps DH).

 

So ideas appreciated, and thanks for getting to the end of this ramble!!:tongue_smilie:

Edited December 12, 2011 by Isabella

[KungFuPanda]

I'd do whatever you'd do for the other kids. THIS party won't be the thing to change her woe is me personality, so attempting to is futile. Maybe a graduation party in the spring would work better for more guests anyway?

[jennsmile]

Does it have to be a party?

 

Why not take her away for a girls weekend, spend the night in a B&B or something and go shopping or to the spa?

 

I completely sympathize my birthday was in January and every year is was like oh yeah, you have a birthday.

[Isabella]

Thanks for the ideas - yeah, I think I'm not going to worry. A spa day with friends would be cool, and a night in a b&b, but that would run into quite a few hundred dollars more in our neck of the woods. She's a people person, so on her own, or with just with our family wouldn't be so much fun. For six or so of her friends, I think she'd love it, but it's too much money, seeing as I've spent quite a bit on presents already.

I think she'll just have to suck it up! The oldest didn't have an 18th by choice, and the youngest probably won't either, unless she changes her mind, so the middle won't be any different at least!