How do I resolve this?

[plain jane]

We got the kids Advent calendars and they have been really excited about them. We splurge and get the Playmobil ones and the boys each get their own and my older two share one (because they're so expensive). This is not the first year the older two have shared one, they agree to it and in fact, they like sharing the scene and playing together. This has never been an issue. The reason the boys get their own is that they are young and while my older boy can share well, the 3yo is not good about things like that & very possessive of Playmobil. I know making them share would lead to fighting and tears and that's not what I want Advent to be about. :)

 

So, this morning comes and they are excited to open them. I get the boys' ones ready and go to open the girls' one.

 

They start trying to figure out who went first last year. ;) I told them that it doesn't matter who goes first as it's pretty even- whoever opens first doesn't get to open last on Xmas eve. Well. Then 10yo decides little sister can go first. Little sister, figuring something is up, no longer wants to go first either. Arguing ensues. :glare: Now, my girls are pretty calm, this is not the norm for them to argue over stuff like this. :confused:

 

So, I say, we'll flip a coin over it. Younger dd calls the coin flip and older one shouts out, "it figures!" :confused: Again, fairly out of character for her although she has been moody as of late.

 

I ask the girls what the purpose of Advent is. They tell me to prepare their hearts for Jesus and to be kind to others, etc. :rolleyes: Not exactly what is happening here.

 

So, I told them no advent calendar. I can't return it to the store because little dd ripped the outside of the box. I'm out almost $30 :glare: AND I have grouchy kids to contend with. NOT how I wanted to start Advent.

 

Older dd has now recanted and said that little dd can have the whole calendar and that her actions this morning were out of line. I know her heart and part of that sentiment definitely is genuine, another part is just a bit of a temper tantrum along the lines of, "fine, just let her have it all..." She probably also doesn't want me to just give it away.

 

I told dh about it and said I want to give the Advent calendar away. If they can't share then they don't get it at all. I'm not going to keep something that is just going to make them fight. But, I'm out that money and I think they should have to split the cost and pay me for the loss.

 

Dh says ok but wonders if I should allow them to make up for it. What can they do to make up for it?

 

 

What do I do?

[higginszoo]

Agreeing with your dh that it would probably be better if you just let them make up for it. What you describe is just a little bit of normal sibling bickering. Maybe have them give the first two figures to their little brothers and pick up the rotation from there?

[plain jane]

Thing is, they still can't work out the rotation between them. They both want to open the Xmas Eve box now.

[Carol in Cal.]

Wait. The Advent calendar is part of your family devotion. Don't take it away. The other stuff is petty, but family piety is important. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

[jennsmile]

I think Santa should open it as their gift to him. ;)