kalanamak Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 If you were to ask my dds what happens if they whine they will answer, "If we whine, moan or complain about our work then Mom will double it." If my kids so much as sigh, grumble or give any negativity about our school work they get their work doubled. It's that simple. A teacher at school would not (or should not) tolerate complaining. This isn't a democracy. :iagree: I don't double. Even 2 extra math problems zips kiddo's lips. I give a warning, and that is it. It works because only about twice a year do I need to add some extra. If I sense a growing atmosphere of foot dragging, I warn early, to nip it in the bud. Makes ME happier, that is for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeganW Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I like school to be enjoyable, and I always told my kids I wanted it to be that. But part of that is their attitude--they can choose whether or not to do something with a good attitude, even if they'd rather be playing. I don't complain every time I have to cook their food or wash their clothes, and they wouldn't like it if I did--so they shouldn't complain about their chores or their school either. I agree with the above. I have my smiley face on and I do my best to promote an enjoyable learning environment, but it's hard if one kid decides to be a pain. Bad attitudes are contagious. I usually give one mini-lecture/warning ("we are all trying to have fun learning about _____ - please don't ruin it for the rest of us"). After that, that kid gets sent to sit on the porch or garage step (depending on the weather). They make up the work while the other children are doing their afternoon activities - swimming, gymnastics, playing outside, etc. Each kid has tried me once - after that, they have been a lot better about making a fast attitude adjustment! I also talk to them often about how good they have it. One day last week when it was 35 degrees, we were doing school in front of the fire in our PJs, and we talked about how the kids going to "regular school" had to get up 2 hours before us and go out in the cold and so on - "we are so lucky!". We talk too about how annoying it would be for them to listen to me whine and complain every time I did my work (laundry, dishes, etc.), and it is equally annoying for me to listen to them whine & complain! They loved getting a demonstration of me doing my work in full whine/huff/complain-mode! They thought it was hilarious. Then we talked about how Mommy has to do her work whether she wants to or not, and so do they - might as well have fun/a good attitude doing it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAutumnOak Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 What happens when he's 16 and won't listen/respect -- with car keys in his hand? If a child doesn't respect a parent at age 10 what will cause him to obey as a teen when the cost is much higher? Someone here said years ago that the first step in homeschooling is teaching your child to respect the parent. Everything (well, almost everything) after that is cake. :iagree: I have not read all of the replies yet, but :iagree: totally with this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAutumnOak Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 What would you do if she complained about every single chore she had to do, or brushing her teeth, or cleaning her room? What would you do if she flat out said no? This age is the prime time for kids to get more sophisticated in how they say no--complaining and arguing are often the new language of "no," because they know "no" won't be acceptable. But they might get somewhere with complaining or arguing. I like school to be enjoyable, and I always told my kids I wanted it to be that. But part of that is their attitude--they can choose whether or not to do something with a good attitude, even if they'd rather be playing. I don't complain every time I have to cook their food or wash their clothes, and they wouldn't like it if I did--so they shouldn't complain about their chores or their school either. Don't be afraid of her hating you & hating school. Discern if there are legitimate reasons, and try to help with those, but also let her be responsible for her own attitude. If you're responsible for her happiness, you'll never find something she won't complain about. Also think of it in terms of "legitimate" complaints, or just complaining because she'd rather play. Does she have plenty of time to play? Then it's probably not legitimate. Is there a reason she doesn't like it? One time we struggled through a math program I loved & I finally got another program & showed my then just 7 yo. He looked at the new one and told me that the writers of the old one didn't want children to understand math. His complaint was legitimate--the old curriculum didn't fit his learning style and frustrated him unnecessarily (it wasn't just "math" or just not wanting to work, etc...). If you can ascertain whether there are legitimate issues vs. just thinking if she complains enough you'll let her play, you'll be well on your way to helping her. Merry :-) :iagree: Totally with this one as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAutumnOak Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Well of course. Play is play and school is work. Too bad, so sad. ;) I would just inform her that school time is from X:00 until X:00, unless she chooses to make it longer by arguing with you. Then just stick with it. It's not negotiable. By dropping a bunch of stuff, you probably showed her that if she argues, she has to do less. By giving her choices, you probably showed her that she has control of the situation. That may work for some kids, but it appears not to be for yours. Arm yourself with a clear, written schedule. Sit down with dd and show her the schedule. Inform her that this will be her school day from now on. Perhaps schedule and incentive for right after school: tv time, computer time, something she looks forward to that she's not allowed to do until school is over. And keep plugging away. Many schooled kids don't like going to school and working, but no one suggests cutting back their school day. It's just what they do. Tara You probably figured out that :iagree:with this as well :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amayla Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) My 6 year old is very spirited. So I can really sympathize with this thread. It is so hard when it often seems like "nothing" is working even though you are always consistent. We had a very rough start to the school year. Just now he is finally ending the constant complaining and refusal to do simple tasks! We started our school year in August, and I never would have thought it would take until the middle of November for him to settle into the school year. We do give him a fake coin for each subject he completes without whining and with a good attitude. Then he can use his money to buy things in our homeschool store. This has been very motivating for him. Edited December 4, 2011 by amayla spelling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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