Toddler meal time question

[Annie]

My 16 month old is a very high energy little boy, and he's very clear about what he likes and what he doesn't. He does *not* like being buckled into a booster seat for meal times. He all out refuses to go in (screaming, refusing to bend his legs, arching his back, the whole deal). Kneeling on on a regular chair really isn't an option because he either gets up and runs off or climbs on the table over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.

 

Last week I decided I was done fighting, and I haven't even tried to get him to sit down for a meal since then. If he seems hungry, or if I'm eating something, I offer him bites whenever he happens to run by. He goes about his business, I go about mine, and he runs back to me every couple of minutes for another bite. Honestly, it's a huge relief. It has removed three power struggles from my day, I no longer have to clean that blasted high chair tray constantly, and I'm not cleaning up tons of food he's dropped on the floor. He's also actually eating a wider variety of food since he'll pretty much eat anything I give him as long as he can keep running.

 

It all seems great, but I'm afraid I'm setting myself up for a world of hurt later on. Is this a bad habit to start that I'm going to have a hard time breaking? Will he just mature enough for it not to be an issue in six months?

[twoforjoy]

I have a feeling I'll be very much disagreed with, but I wouldn't be overly concerned with setting up future bad habits. You have to deal with where he is right now. If this works for both of you, and makes meal times more pleasant for everybody, then I'd stick with it for now. He's not going to be eating that way when he's 15 because you let him do it when he was 16 months.

[*Jen*]

My third child was like that.

 

After a few months I started making him sit down for a snack (I always made sure it was something he loved) and also read books with him sitting in his chair at the table while he ate. He eventually matured and by 2 was sitting at the table for all his meals.

 

It really wasn't worth the power struggle and like your son he ate better when I let him get bites on the run. So I was happy to let him dance at my feet and eat if that's what it took to get good food into him.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I have a feeling I'll be very much disagreed with, but I wouldn't be overly concerned with setting up future bad habits. You have to deal with where he is right now. If this works for both of you, and makes meal times more pleasant for everybody, then I'd stick with it for now. He's not going to be eating that way when he's 15 because you let him do it when he was 16 months.

 

:iagree: He's still a baby. There will be plenty of time to work on his table manners.

[blondeviolin]

How is mealtime done? Do you sit with him? Is he self-feeding? Do you require he sits until everyone is finished? Can you have him sit on the booster without being buckled?

 

If it were me, I'd still have him sit at mealtime, but when he wants down, I'd allow it and clear his plate. His meal may last all of 2 minutes, but at least you encouraged it. It doesn't mean he can't still graze when he wants.

[Tangerine]

I'm sure that as long as you continue to try to periodically re-approach sitting down for meals, you'll eventually catch him when he's at an age where he's ready.

[Annie]

Thank you everyone! I feel a little better now. I'll keep trying to put him in his seat every other day or so, and if he sits down without throwing a fit, I'll make sure he gets something he likes to eat.

 

How is mealtime done? Do you sit with him? Is he self-feeding? Do you require he sits until everyone is finished? Can you have him sit on the booster without being buckled?

 

If it were me, I'd still have him sit at mealtime, but when he wants down, I'd allow it and clear his plate. His meal may last all of 2 minutes, but at least you encouraged it. It doesn't mean he can't still graze when he wants.

 

We almost always have meals together, and I would always let him out when he was done. He self feeds. If I didn't buckle the booster, he would be out in about .2 seconds. At this point, I can't get him to sit in it at all without an all out fit.

 

He screams bloody murder, straightens his legs, and arches his back when I try to sit him down in it. I could physically bend his legs for him and put him in, but he certainly wouldn't be eating once I got him in there. He just screams, rocks back and forth (I caught the chair half way to the floor a few weeks ago), and pushes everything away. He's not the kind to just calm down and accept things after a minute or two of being upset.

[MrsBasil]

Mine wanted to graze or eat sitting in my lap sharing from my plate for a few months. While not terribly convenient, him in my lap really seemed to work for him.

YMMV, but I decided that him eating was more important then where he ate.

 

He's healthy, eats fine, and is usually fine or happy with eating at the table now.

[nd293]

I have a feeling I'll be very much disagreed with, but I wouldn't be overly concerned with setting up future bad habits. You have to deal with where he is right now. If this works for both of you, and makes meal times more pleasant for everybody, then I'd stick with it for now. He's not going to be eating that way when he's 15 because you let him do it when he was 16 months.

 

I couldn't agree more. I also think this is an age appropriate way for little ones to eat - Dr Sears calls it "grazing". Here is a quote:

 

Offer a nibble tray. Toddlers like to graze their way through a variety of foods, so why not offer them a customized smorgasbord? The first tip from the Sears' kitchen is to offer toddlers a nibble tray. Use an ice-cube tray, a muffin tin, or a compartmentalized dish, and put bite-size portions of colorful and nutritious foods in each section. Call these finger foods playful names that a two-year-old can appreciate, such as:

• apple moons (thinly sliced)
  
• avocado boats (a quarter of an avocado)
  
• banana wheels
  
• broccoli trees (steamed broccoli florets)
  
• carrot swords (cooked and thinly sliced)
  
• cheese building blocks
  
• egg canoes (hard- boiled egg wedges)
  
• little O's (o-shaped cereal)
  

Place the food on an easy-to-reach table. As your toddler makes his rounds through the house, he can stop, sit down, nibble a bit, and, when he's done, continue on his way. These foods have a table-life of an hour or two.

 

If you want to start encouraging the sitting-at-table skill, you might want to give your little one a bit of food, or even a drink, and some toys when you sit at the table, but don't expect his attention to last the span of a meal at that age.