When do you buckle down?

[Jayne J]

This is ds's third grade year. We're three weeks in and already we are in tears and fighting daily over the work. I thought that this was the year we'd start to ramp things up and move from mostly oral to more written work, but he fights me over every word he has to write. He doesn't have any fine motor issues--he spends hours drawing detailed pictures. Am I expecting too much? I've already dropped some writing--writing 1-2 sentence definitions for our Famous Men of Greece class--and I am wondering if I should drop more and go back to oral work. I'm just not certain if this is a developmental issue or a discipline issue. We do WWE2, he writes some Latin answers for the LCI workbook, the exercises for the FLL 2 workbook, he writes a list of 10-15 spelling words weekly, and really very little else, other than a random sentence or two for science or history. I really didn't think that was too much, but maybe I am wrong? When did/do you buckle down a bit and start to require more writing/seatwork?

[NanceXToo]

Toward the second half of fourth grade and all of fifth grade, my daughter became MUCH better at writing assignments than she had been in third or the beginning of fourth.

 

I try to let some stuff be done orally and some stuff written, but in segments, and some stuff get typed, because I know MY hands get cramped and tired if I do a lot of handwriting at once.

[Woodhaven]

I had that same issue with my eldest. He was very capable, but just didn't want to do the work.

 

I had a long talk with him and told him what was required of him and that no matter how much he fussed and cried, he would still need to do the work. He was wasting HIS time, not just mine and I wasn't about to give in to his fussing. I was certain he COULD do what I was asking of him.

 

I found ways of getting my point across. Since I had other children to work with too I would send him to his bed until he was done fussing (usually only a few minutes), and work with one of his brothers. When he was ready to come back he had to sit and wait a few minutes until I had time to work with him again.

 

I had to be careful not to give in at all or I'd end up back where we started with him trying to manipulate me with tears.

[Julie in CA]

Sometime during 4th grade is when my standards changed from "mostly fun", to "not always fun, but do it anyway".

 

Sometime during 6th grade is when I required more maturity in their work most of the time, and in 9th grade is when I expected really serious studying to be the normal routine.

[coffeegal]

This is ds's third grade year. We're three weeks in and already we are in tears and fighting daily over the work. I thought that this was the year we'd start to ramp things up and move from mostly oral to more written work, but he fights me over every word he has to write. He doesn't have any fine motor issues--he spends hours drawing detailed pictures. Am I expecting too much? I've already dropped some writing--writing 1-2 sentence definitions for our Famous Men of Greece class--and I am wondering if I should drop more and go back to oral work. I'm just not certain if this is a developmental issue or a discipline issue. We do WWE2, he writes some Latin answers for the LCI workbook, the exercises for the FLL 2 workbook, he writes a list of 10-15 spelling words weekly, and really very little else, other than a random sentence or two for science or history. I really didn't think that was too much, but maybe I am wrong? When did/do you buckle down a bit and start to require more writing/seatwork?

 

I'm a cruel parent when it comes to writing. We start the ramp up in preschool/kindergarten. I require very little at that age, but they must write. My current 3rd grader can write 6-7 sentences easily at a sitting, then complete at least 1/2 page of penmanship, and answer some questions in writing for history.

 

Here's my goals ~

PrK: 3-4 letters, moving into short words

K: 3-4 short words, moving into longer words

1st: longer words, moving into 3-4 short sentences

2nd: 3-4 short sentences moving into 5-6 longer sentences

3rd: 5-6 longer sentences, moving into 1/2 page of writing

4th: 1/2 page - 1 page

 

:001_smile:

[Jayne J]

Coffegal--is that per day, per subject? Today, we did WWE2 copywork (three short sentences, 12 words) Latin (5 short 2-3 word sentences) FLL3 (8 one word answers) and classical studies (normally I would have required 7 names and brief 3-4 word definitions--i.e. "Athena-Goddess of Wisdom," but I skipped it today in the interest of peace) Would you consider this enough, too much, too little? We still have science to cover and that is likely to be a 2-3 sentence narration, if I am lucky. We don't really do penmanship seperately--we did cursive last year and this year is just "practical application."

[Melissa B]

2nd grade :leaving:

 

K / 1 are casual, mostly oral, "fun" grades

 

Starting in 2nd, I require a great deal of writing (assuming the child has no developmental/writing difficulties.)

[Little Blue House]

We are/were in this exact situation. My DH and I came up with a plan a few weeks ago after really considering our son's ability level and attitude issues. Basically, the bar has been set too low (as far as attitude goes) and DS has been allowed to disrupt the school day and his school experience (chiely one of whining and no enjoyment of learning) for far too long. We had a talk with all our school age kids at the beginning of the week and clearly laid out the new expectations (no complaining, no arguing, teachable spirits, etc) and explained that consequences would follow if these expectations were not met. My DH stayed home a few extra hours in the morning to help me manage and stay on top of the attitudes. Here is what is key: There is an appropriate way to say "I need help" or "I don't understand". I'm not expecting that my kids sit down at the table and perform like robots and get their schoolwork done perfectly. But, I will now be expecting them to sit down at the table w/o arguing/complaining and communicate appropriately when something is difficult and they need more explanation/help.

 

After 2 weeks of doing this we have seen significant improvement! We haven't nipped it in the bud...and I don't expect that we will fully but we are seeing a difference. One of my main goals was to get to a place this year where the attitudes were not poisoning (for lack of a better word) our school days. I want them to experience a day mixed with enjoyment, exploration, hard work, fun, free time to explore their own interested, etc. In the past we have rarely been able to get there b/c of the attitudes.

 

Pray for your kids, pray with them, ask God to help them and you. AND then trust that he can! Come up with a plan and clear expectations so your kids know what to expect. Then be as consistent as you can and trust God to cover the rest!

[Alte Veste Academy]

This is ds's third grade year. We're three weeks in and already we are in tears and fighting daily over the work. I thought that this was the year we'd start to ramp things up and move from mostly oral to more written work, but he fights me over every word he has to write. He doesn't have any fine motor issues--he spends hours drawing detailed pictures. Am I expecting too much? I've already dropped some writing--writing 1-2 sentence definitions for our Famous Men of Greece class--and I am wondering if I should drop more and go back to oral work. I'm just not certain if this is a developmental issue or a discipline issue. We do WWE2, he writes some Latin answers for the LCI workbook, the exercises for the FLL 2 workbook, he writes a list of 10-15 spelling words weekly, and really very little else, other than a random sentence or two for science or history. I really didn't think that was too much, but maybe I am wrong? When did/do you buckle down a bit and start to require more writing/seatwork?

 

I would say it's probably a habit issue. I am a "third grade is time to get serious" person too. I don't require K (but they learn to read and play math and writing at this time). Grades 1-2 are more about forming the habit of school, along with basics.* I had a big problem with attitudes last year and this year has been smooth sailing so far, partially because everyone is doing school now. (DS5 is opting into K every day so far because of math adoration and the fact that the other 2 are doing school so he might as well.)

 

There are two things that I have found it helpful to discuss with the kids:

 

(1) School is required. I am required by law (and by conscience!) to provide you with a good education. That requires ______, _______, and _______. (Am I the only one who had to explain to their kids that they will be in school for many years? :lol: My kids didn't know that until I pointed it out to them!) I explained the concept of K-12 education, college, and post-grad. It took some time to settle in that this was serious business. Before this discussion, it was like they were looking at their day-to-day experience rather than looking at education as a long-term endeavor. We were just on a different page. I was hyper-aware of the long-term and they were all about "how many more pages in math today?" :lol:

 

(2) School can be a joy but it will be work. From the * above, I believe there should be some planned joy in school. "All work and no play," yadda, yadda, yadda. At our house, this means including nature study, our read-alouds while snuggling on the couch with popcorn, fun curriculum choices--basically a learning lifestyle. As much as I can, I will make learning a joy, but sometimes I'm going to tell you to do something (that you might not think is fun) because you need to know it. And that's where Woodhaven's advice comes in...

 

I had that same issue with my eldest. He was very capable, but just didn't want to do the work.

 

I had a long talk with him and told him what was required of him and that no matter how much he fussed and cried, he would still need to do the work. He was wasting HIS time, not just mine and I wasn't about to give in to his fussing. I was certain he COULD do what I was asking of him.

 

I found ways of getting my point across. Since I had other children to work with too I would send him to his bed until he was done fussing (usually only a few minutes), and work with one of his brothers. When he was ready to come back he had to sit and wait a few minutes until I had time to work with him again.

 

I had to be careful not to give in at all or I'd end up back where we started with him trying to manipulate me with tears.

 

:iagree: I got the farthest when I was cheerful about it. (Not sappy, sugary cheerful--mostly I was biting my lip through great irritation cheerful.) The point was that I couldn't let it become a battle.

[Jayne J]

Yeah, I rather thought that it might be a discipline/attitude issue. I really don't think I am requiring too much work or writing, but I wanted to be sure that I wasn't crossing some developmental lines--I tend to expect alot from my kids and sometimes forget how young they are. Seems like a family discussion is in order for this weekend. Sigh. Why didn't I order the kids who were all fired up and excited about school? Too late for a return/exchange now...:tongue_smilie: (said firmly tongue in cheek.)

[Alte Veste Academy]

Yeah, I rather thought that it might be a discipline/attitude issue. I really don't think I am requiring too much work or writing, but I wanted to be sure that I wasn't crossing some developmental lines--I tend to expect alot from my kids and sometimes forget how young they are. Seems like a family discussion is in order for this weekend. Sigh. Why didn't I order the kids who were all fired up and excited about school? Too late for a return/exchange now...:tongue_smilie: (said firmly tongue in cheek.)

 

:grouphug: You know, as excited as I was to be homeschooling, I was really very disappointed to see that kind of attitude in my oldest. I kept having ugly feelings about it. I mean, didn't he realize how lucky he was?! :tongue_smilie:

 

No, he did not, because I hadn't explained it all. He does get it more now. And I stopped reacting emotionally because really, he shouldn't be responsible for my warm fuzzy feelings. Nothing has helped more than making the kids' school days a good habit, something they can predict and know they will find some measure of joy in each and every day. Taking my emotion out of it has really improved things though, so I wish you luck...and fortitude. :D

 

Also, my the attitude of my eldest really sets the tone here, so nipping his issues in the bud was of incredible importance in ensuring there wasn't a total mutiny carried out by all three.