Help - Anxiety about Dentist/brushing teeth in 6yo

[Guest momk2000]

My 6yo dd has horrible anxiety about going to the Dentist. We take her every 6 months and she has not yet opened her mouth or even sat in the chair. At home she will not let dh or myself help her brush, and she does not do a good job brushing herself. I try to get her to at least open her mouth so I can look at her teeth, and she does it so fast, I don't really get a good look. When we take her to the Pediatrician for her check ups, she will open her mouth briefly for him, but I don't know if he really gets a good look at her teeth.

Since she was a baby, she has gone and watched her sister (who loves going to the dentist) have her teeth cleaned, so she knows the routine. I just wish I could figure out what is causing her to have so much anxiety over her teeth. :confused:

I am getting really worried, does anyone have any advice that might help me to encourage her to at least allow me to help her clean her teeth better?

[stripe]

When my son was 2 or 3 years old, the dentist told me to work first on the outside surfaces of the teeth, as the back ones are a bit trickier, until he was more confident, and to make it less stressful. I also found that having a toothpaste with a desirable flavor helped. I would work on just brushing the first few teeth maybe until she gets used to it. And try to keep it positive. Gosh. Have you read any books about teeth? Maybe have her (or you) practice on stuffed animals? Or on you? I let my kids brush my teeth several times too. I also got a younger sibling to brush. The older one would laugh so hard when she came at him with a brush that she actually was pretty successful. It worked better when the atmosphere was a bit lighter than when I was stressed about it.

[ktgrok]

Ok...take this advice knowing I'm a really good dog trainer, but probably an average parent, lol. If this was a dog that wouldn't let me see in it's mouth I would first reward (point system? tic tac? mini chocolate chip? sticker? coloring page? New crayon?) for letting me look at her closed mouth. Make it silly. Say hey, I'm going to set up a system where you get one brand new fancy crayon every time you let me look at your mouth closed up tight. She will be like uh, what? Then say ok, here goes! And stare at her mouth for a few seconds, up close. Say YES! in a happy voice and give her the crayon or tic tac or whatever. Then say ok, lets do it again, and repeat. Do it a few times until she thinks it is easy. Then say, ok, from now on, I'm going to only give crayons for opening your mouth one tiny hairs width. And wait. If she is willing to do it, great. Don't push past that.Do this every night at teeth brushing time, moving on to a more open mouth only stage by stage, little by little, as she is comfortable. It should be easy for her. So you would stay at the same phase until she is totally comfortable, before moving on.

 

That said...with a child, rather than a dog, you might be able to just use a big bribe, lol. Or say "hey, I will put my hands behind my back, and won't let go, while you show me your mouth. i won't touch, just look." or...have her start by looking in her own mouth, in the bathroom, with a flashlight you get her, but with no one else in the room. Let her do that for a week or so, and then let her look at other people's mouths with the flashlight, then let her watch you look at her sister's mouth with the flashlight. Eventually ask if youi can look at her mouth. Or ask if her sister can look at her mouth, which might be less threatening.

 

No matter what you do, I wouldn't force it, because Ithink that will make it worse. I'd also really try to find out what she is afraid of. Let her draw pictures of mouths for a while, and see what she draws. Let her draw pictures of the dentist office. Play "dentist" with dolls, and let her have the dentist doll, and see what happens.

 

Somewhere there is a big issue that hasn't come out.

 

My son hated fluoride treatments. It took 10 years to find out that he took the "don't eat or drink for 30 minutes" rule to mean that he couldn't swallow for 30 minutes!!! He thought if he swallowed at all, even his own saliva, he would get sick or die or something. So yeah, he had a good reason in his head for hating it!!! Forcing him to get it done was terrifying him!

[stripe]

Yeah, and I think you might involve a flashlight. At least, my kids would love it if they could look into my mouth with a flashlight. How about yours?

[Guest momk2000]

I have tried putting my hands behind my back, bribed her with coloring books, polly pockets, etc... Have not tried the flashlight thing though, and she loves to play with the flashlight, so we will give that a try next.

We don't pressure her in any way, we don't want to cause her more anxiety. When she was younger, she would pretend to brush her stuffed animals teeth. I have tried to show her how to brush by letting her watch me. She has watched me brush her older sister's teeth, she has watched her sister brush her own teeth, she has watched daddy brush his teeth. She has even watched me have my teeth cleaned at the dentist.

I have so run out of ideas. We have not tried the flashlight though, we will see how that works.

[Amanda's Mommy]

Toy R Us worked really well as a treat for letting the dentist do what needed to be done. I would set a spending limit before we went. Now that she can tolerate the dentist there are no more bribes.

[celticmom]

My dd gets to pick out a bunch of books at the thrift store after a trip to the dentist. I am not about to tell her that Toys R Us is an option.:lol:

[Cera]

My almost 7 tear old is like this and it has been a huge struggle. I have pushed it though, going to the dentist may be unpleasant to her but it is a reality of life and nonnegotiable in our house. Three appts ago (5 1/2) we sat in the waiting room for a full day and then another hour and a half the next day until she gave in and consented to have her teeth cleaned. Our dentist is very accomodating and we do use a bit of laughing gas to help her relax once she finally consents to get in the chair.

 

I spent the first few years trying to figure out why she was anxious and work through it but it got to the point where the power struggle needed to end and once she realized that we would sit in the office until she did what had to be done it got quite a bit better (last appt was less than 30 minutes of stalling until she agreed to the cleaning.