At what age would you leave your child home, alone, overnight?

[aggieamy]

I have read the entire thread and it does seem like the issue is you don't feel comfortable leaving your DD in your home...Your friend may not see her home as unsafe, therefore she is fine leaving her 16 year old home alone...

 

The bigger concern would be your daughter spending the night at her boyfriend's home...That could potentially lead to more problems than being home overnight...The only people I know who spent nights together without having s-x is Fran and Mr. Sheffield...But the reality is if she was left home alone, the boyfriend would be there with her within half hour after you left .

 

I was thinking that with the boyfriend situation she wouldn't be spending the night alone either but that's an entirely different topic.

 

Fran and Mr. Sheffield. LOL.

[Audrey]

I have a daughter, 18.5, and hubby and I have never left her home alone, overnight. We live in a very safe, gated community, we have houses on 15' either side of us, and we have alarms, but we still are not comfortable leaving dd alone. It's not that we don't trust HER, it's that we have a big house, lots of expensive stuff (artwork, electronics), and frankly, you never know who might show up. We just don't trust other people.

 

OTOH, my closest friend, recently divorced, and a therapist with 2 masters degrees, has a dd, age 16.5, who she is willing to leave alone for an entire weekend so she (mom) can go on trips! My friend says it's okay because dd doesn't drive, she's in the house all by herself, she can call her dad (he lives about 20 minutes away) if she needs anything, and she's a mature, loner type (so says my friend) who won't let anyone into the house. [The truth is, the mom has not told her ex- about her trips and her dd hasn't told her dad, either]

 

This really bothers me. I usually don't make any kind of judgments but this time I had to, I told my friend that I thought there was a law about leaving minor children alone. My friend checked online and found nothing; she even called her local police, who said there was no law and they would be comfortable leaving their own 16 year-old children alone for the weekend, so my friend considered that enough of a seal of approval.

 

Maybe it wouldn't bother me as much if she were doing it for work reasons but she started doing this while she began her divorce a few months ago and now she is divorced she's going off on shopping trips with her girlfriends, or visiting old friends (both male and female) for boating excursions...everything is fun-based. My friend says her dd is happy to see her mom go and have fun, so there is no guilt.

 

I just don't get it. Am I being too conservative?

 

I'm sure she knows her daughter and the law well enough to make that call without your oh so helpful input. Maybe her daughter is more mature, responsible and trustworthy than yours. At any rate, it is her daughter, so it's really not anyone else's business.

[LibraryLover]

18.5? Are you pullin' our legs? :lurk5:

[RanchGirl]

I would leave a responsible 16 yo home alone, assuming he/she also had responsible friends. I would not let my child of any age stay overnight at a boyfriend/girlfriend's house, not that you asked.

 

It sounds like your friend has some very different values from you. On the plus side, at least she's not bringing the men/parties to her house! I don't see a problem with an occasional weekend away, but if she's gone every weekend, that would be cause for concern. Unfortunately unless she has asked for your opinion, it probably doesn't matter. Since you don't leave for weekends, maybe you can be a support for her daughter if she is lonely while her mom is gone?