Jean in Newcastle Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 A bad habit that the parent acknowledges is bad but still falls into . . .and the copying is blatant - down to facial expressions and tone of voice . . . do you: a. call them on it b. acknowledge that they picked it up from a parent but it's still wrong c. would your answer to (b) be different if the parent he's copying is your spouse and not yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I call the kids on it, and then talk to my husband if it's his habit. If it's my habit, he talks to me. Sometimes, we don't see things that we do, until they're mirrored in our kids. And sometimes not even then. But I don't just let it slide, now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 A bad habit that the parent acknowledges is bad but still falls into . . .and the copying is blatant - down to facial expressions and tone of voice . . . do you: a. call them on it b. acknowledge that they picked it up from a parent but it's still wrong c. would your answer to (b) be different if the parent he's copying is your spouse and not yourself. OK Jean, I know the real reason you are posting.....you're wanting to get to 20,000 posts BEFORE FALL....:lol::lol::lol: You have some good themes and this is one of them. Our dd has "unfortunately" picked up bad habits from my dh and I. :glare: I will tell you that either her dh was wrong, or I was and explain that people have choices. We chose to act very fleshly and not in the Spirit and that's where the mistake lies. Keep the topics coming Jean!!! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pax Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 We do both a and b in our family. We call them on it and acknowledge that it comes from a parent. Then we give them permission to call us on it when we are doing whatever bad habit it is. I bite my nails and my children have started to do the same thing. I call them on it, they call me on it. My husband tends to bark commands. My daughter has started to do the same thing. He calls her on it and she calls him on it. We all do use respectful words and tone when calling someone out on a bad habit though. That seems to be key. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hankins3 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 OK Jean, I know the real reason you are posting.....you're wanting to get to 20,000 posts BEFORE FALL....:lol::lol::lol: You have some good themes and this is one of them. Our dd has "unfortunately" picked up bad habits from my dh and I. :glare: I will tell you that either her dh was wrong, or I was and explain that people have choices. We chose to act very fleshly and not in the Spirit and that's where the mistake lies. Keep the topics coming Jean!!! :tongue_smilie: :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 We do both a and b in our family. We call them on it and acknowledge that it comes from a parent. Then we give them permission to call us on it when we are doing whatever bad habit it is. We all do use respectful words and tone when calling someone out on a bad habit though. That seems to be key. :iagree: This is how it is in our house too. It's helped both dh and me improve our behavior. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) It very much depends on what it is; 'bad habit' covers a lot of ground. If it's a straightforward action, like leaving wet towels on the floor, I simply have them correct it (in this example, by washing the towels and cleaning up as needed). If you are talking more about emotions and attitude, such as sarcasm or melodramatic reactions, imo those are very difficult to correct if they are being constantly modeled by a parent. However, I'd still correct the child. When they point out that "you do it/dad does it" you need to be careful not to engage in apologies (if it's you) or criticism (if it's the other parent). Remind him that it's not his job to parent you, and it's not your job to parent dh, but it IS your job to parent him. EDITED TO ADD that I think it's fine for a child to respectfully call a parent on something, but not fine to say 'you can't correct me b/c you do it as well.' In all honesty, though, I think it's near impossible to completely wipe out behaviors that are modeled by one or both parents. What you want to do is minimize it, and make them aware of what the desired behavior is (b/c I have honestly met adults who took a long time to realize that things like being late were indeed bad habits that might annoy other people). Edited May 18, 2011 by katilac clarity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 OK Jean, I know the real reason you are posting.....you're wanting to get to 20,000 posts BEFORE FALL....:lol::lol::lol: Let's just say that I'm a chatterbox;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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