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I did the right thing, right?


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Then, why am I shaking? Ugh.

 

DD4yr is an excellent gymnast. I know this because I coached gymnastics at the same gym for over 10yr - including coaching the competitive kids. I say this with my coach hat on, not with my mom hat on.

 

That being said, when I spoke to the gym owner about moving her up to an intermediate class (even though she's technically too young) he said she's better off in the class she is in now, because of the smaller student to coach ratio. She could get more 1 on 1 attention in the preschool class she's in now. Well....in theory, that's true. Problem is, her coach does not know how to accelerate her when it's her turn. So, she is stuck doing donkey kicks when she can kick to a proper handstand on her own, etc. What was his solution? Me go in with her class and set up a station off to the side and work on more advanced skills with the class as a whole. So, why am I paying $105?? I'm just frustrated.

 

So, I called another gym today. She's going down to try an invitation only class on Wednesday night. It's a class for kids her age, but that works on more advanced skills. They are considering it a starting point for her and would like to see how it fits her skill level, but aren't opposed to moving her up if need be.

 

I'm so excited for her. And, it doesn't make sense to pay that much for something she's getting NOTHING out of. So, why am I literally shaking after hanging up the phone??

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If you've coached before why not just do it yourself and save some money?

 

Well, I have been. I've been working with her for about 30 min before her class each week. And well, I'm mom. She doesn't take coaching from me well. At least not at this point. She does fine if somebody else pushes her, but if I do, she finds an excuse or cries. "My leg itches", "I need a little break", etc. It would be much more beneficial for her if *I* am not her coach. Otherwise, I would do it in a heartbeat!

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Sounds to me like you're doing the logical thing.

 

I wouldn't pay $105 to have to do the coaching myself either, that's just crazy.

 

Maybe you were upset because you had just gotten used to the other place.

If the new place is a better fit though, you'll get over it pretty quickly :001_smile:.

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Our gym coaches can't allow 4 year olds to move up. They follow USA Gymnastics guidelines, which don't allow 4 year olds to do backbends from standing and backbend kickovers. So for both insurance and certification purposes, they have to be able to show that there aren't any 4 year olds in their more advanced classes. But the coaches are used to working with kids of varying abilities, so they're more than willing to challenge a child who is ready for more.

 

I hope the new gym is a better fit!

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Our gym coaches can't allow 4 year olds to move up. They follow USA Gymnastics guidelines, which don't allow 4 year olds to do backbends from standing and backbend kickovers. But the coaches are used to working with kids of varying abilities, so they're more than willing to challenge a child who is ready for more.

 

We're a USAG gym too. But we also compete Amerikids at the pre-team level. She could easily move up to our "Mighty Twisters" class which is for kids 5 & up technically. She would work on cartwheels, handstands, headstands, pullovers, back hip circles, front support mount on mid level beams, etc. All things she is READY for. BUT....since the class is at night, owner doesn't want to move her up, because she'd be in a class of 14 kids and 2 teachers vs 6 kids and 1 teacher with nobody else in the gym. The idea being she can get more one on one in the morning with only a few other kids in the gym. Except, she's not getting it.

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Fwiw, I think you did the right thing too. Your options are pretty much like it, or leave it, so it's worth checking into leaving.

 

Thanks!

 

I felt so shaky and nervous after the call. It helps to have validation from all of my WTM friends :) Even though I already knew it was probably the right thing to do at this point.

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Are you shaky because as a gymnast, it is totally traumatic to switch coaches and gyms? Shaky on your own behalf, since you were a gymnast? I know for my older children, switching gyms/coaches was almost like switching parents. It was definately more traumatic than moving to a different state, for example. The first switch we made, after being in gym only a year, was non-traumatic. It was later, when the children were older, that it was so hard for them. It worked out well, but boy, was it hard at the time. Maybe you are reacting as a gymnast rather than as the parent of a 4 year old?

-Nan

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I think it's more the idea that I've been associated with this gym for over 15 years, 10+ of those years as a coach. Even though I am not actively coaching (except the occasional night when I substitute), I still walk into the office and/or gym as if I owned the place, lol. I almost feel like I'm "cheating" on the gym. Going to another gym is like being a "traitor", I guess.

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Yup. I know that feeling.

So the shakiness is really on your own behalf and has nothing to do with your 4yo. That might make it a bit easier to deal with. Will things change when she is 5? Is the coaching going to be very good in the future, if you can just manage to wait out this year? Or is it not? If so, I would be inclined to ride the year out. If not, then this is probably a good time to make a switch, before she is too entrenched in this particular gym. Have you asked if you can do the extra coaching in exchange for her tuition? They might be willing to do that, even if they didn't volunteer. If it were me, the deciding factor would be the quality of the future coaching.

-Nan

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She really would not be offered any quality coaching until the pre-team or USAG level 4 level. She would need to pass through mighty twisters (the class I tried to advance her to) before pre-team, before making it to level 4. My biggest concern is that they are in no hurry to advance her to where she needs to be in order to be challenged, or even progressing for that matter. She is in a traditional preschool class at this point - focused on movement, coordination, etc, not on skills. If I let it be, she would likely be in this class another year or so, and not make any further progression without my help (though, again, she doesn't take it well from me).

 

I could work for free tuition....or get paid, either way. But, truthfully, I don't have the time to commit, and she still wouldn't be gaining anything from the class.

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Sounds to me like you're doing the logical thing.

 

I wouldn't pay $105 to have to do the coaching myself either, that's just crazy.

 

 

This is why we pulled my DS out of school and started our HSing journey. When I approached his teacher about giving him more advanced work, she said I could come in and work with the more advanced kids any time. Um, no thanks. I'll work with MY child at home.

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Well, if the level 4 coaching was absolutely tip-top, then I would wait it out. Won't her later coaching be more important than her coaching now? Do you like the level 4 and beyond coaches? Does your gym keep its coaches for a long time? Or do they switch? I have older children. I know how influential, how powerful coaches are when children are older. I would be willing to stall for a while in order to have coaches that I trusted later, ones who would turn my children into good strong adults as well as good strong athletes. But that is because my 16yo, my 20yo, and my 23yo constantly tell me how important their coaches were, still are, to them - how much they learned about life from them, and how amazed they are that their coaches managed to get them through their teen years. They aren't the easiest children to raise. Sigh. So looking back, I don't think the coaches they had when they were little mattered as much. They stalled the youngest a bit until he was able to join an older class. I didn't always like the class coaches much, but I stayed put because I knew I like the team coaches, and as we hit the turbulance of the teen years, I was very glad I had. But your daughter is still young enough that you don't really know who will be coaching when she is older, so perhaps that isn't so much of a factor for you?

-Nan

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I dealt with similar issues with my niece. She also had a lot of natural talent, and she got bumped to THREE different classes before I finally just gave up. A year later, she brought it up again (she really had been wanting to take a break before anyway), and we heard about a different coach and program. When I realized that it had been the program/coaches that were the problem, and that there had been better options all along with this other coach, I really regretted all the time and money spent in the other program. :glare: When you have a child that is GOOD at something, it makes ZERO sense to hold them back for an extended period of time just to make a coach/teacher happy. You absolutely did the right thing.

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Thank you so much everyone. It's amazing what a little confidence boost from some trusted friends can do for you :)

 

The team program at *my* gym (our current gym) is really nothing stellar. They do alright as a team, but it really isn't anything special. I do like the new team coach they hired in the last year, but for the most part, it's just an average USAG team program. It's nothing worth sticking it out for.

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