Lori C- Texas Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I have a question. We have had our cat for about 7 years. We got her when she was only a couple months old. She is very timid and always has been. She has never liked dh. She has never let our kids do anything for her other than feed her, ever. She hardly ever comes out of our master bedroom. We have always said she would be better off with a single old woman. That is the kind of cat she is. She only lets me near her. We recently adopted an adult male cat from a friend that had to give away all their pets because of a family emergency and a move. This cat is the most wonderful cat. He is so cuddly and lets our kids play with him. He loves dh. He fits in perfect with our family. He is the type of cat that will jump up on the table during school time and just plop down and enjoy being with us. He and our other cat do not get along. Our first cat runs from him and growls at him and he pushes her buttons just because he can. He never actually does anything to her other than pester. She is terrified of him. Our problem is now that she is so afraid of our new cat she is no longer using the litter box. She hids under our bed all the time. She has even peed on our bed!!! :glare: Does anyone have any advice on how to at least get her to be brave enough to use the litter box? We have tried buying another litter box hoping they would just have his and hers litter boxes but that hasn't worked. We have locked her in the bathroom were we keep one litter box hoping she will do her business while she is in there but she doesn't. I have to carry her to her food and water or she is to scared to go and eat because she is so afraid.... My husband is ready to just throw her outside and wish her luck....I see us having to drop her off at the pound soon. Which will break our kids' hearts. She has never been nice to them but they have a soft spot for her and they know what happens at the pound. I have horrible guilt about dropping her off there too. She may not be the most lovable cat but I have had her for 7 years sleeping next to my pillow every night and knowing how she behaves that it is very unlikely she will be adopted. Any advice on how to work this out?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellabee03 Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 This might not work, but when we recently brought home a new kitten he initially stayed in the bathroom. http://www.weforanimals.com/articles/introducing-cats.htm Try completely separating them for now, even if it means listening to the lonely mews coming from the bathroom. Put the food and water in the bathroom as well, that way the newcomer doesn't have to come out at all. You will probably have to leave them completely separated for a while, until your resident cat is used to the smells and sounds of the newcomer. Just remember to be patient with your timid one, I know how frustrating it is when kitties stop using the box for whatever reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Having a pet is a commitment for it's lifetime. I'd lock the male cat in the basement with his new litter box and his food and water. Keep her life as it was before. Tough to live like that, but it seems to me that this is an opportunity to teach your kids how to persevere and work through problems. btw, the best way to introduce cats to each other is very slowly, never letting the new one have full reign of the house. They should smell each other under the doors, fight from under the doors, until they no longer get upset. Then it is a gradual thing. Most cats don't need this, but my mom's cat was a very timid cat as well and did exactly as you describe. Very shy cats need lots of time. Your commitment was to her first, so I'd do all in my power to work it out. Honestly, if one had to go after a few months of separation, I'd send off the male one. Very hard, I understand, but his odds of being adopted are far higher. :grouphug: I don't envy you. This is going to be really hard. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori C- Texas Posted February 6, 2011 Author Share Posted February 6, 2011 Thank you! I had a feeling that is how we should have done things from the start. The kids were just so excited to have a cat to actually play with. I will try locking him in the bathroom and see how that goes. I just can not imagine giving her away. I wish I knew some single old woman that would love to have a cat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Cats will almost always growl at a newcomer. They smell different. Seriously - a lot of it is about smell. If you bathe both of them with the same shampoo, you'll help to shorten their "introductory" time. It also sounds like your cat has had tremendous fear for years. I would recommend working slowly with her to introduce her to the family she's been living with. Start by never being the one to feed her. Pick one person - preferably not your husband since he's likely not there during the day - to be the one to feed her and give her attention. Even if she ignores them at first, she will come around. It takes a lot of patience. You've got the right idea with the litter box about providing another one for her. Make sure you clean it at least twice a day - don't give her any reason not to want to use it. Since she considers your bedroom her safe haven, let her have that space. I'd put her litter box there, and her food and water on the other side of the bedroom. Then let the one who is going to care for her spend lots of time with her. They can even just spend time reading on the floor in there. Bring in cat toys - some are irresistible. But the key is the interaction. They should also bring her treats and hand feed those. When she gets more comfortable with this person, then it's time to introduce someone else while this person still gives them attention too. And by all means give her attention at night too. You may not be able to teach an old dog new tricks, but you can with cats. :) Don't give up on her. They thrive with loving attention even when it seems that that's the last thing they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I agree with the other posters. I have 5 cats and our newest one freaked one of the others out. We had to start off slow with separation and we still have to keep him from "playing" with her as it freaks her out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 You can use the feeding thing... by giving her a bit of special food.... so that you're feeding her half a can twice... or something like that... and it will work to have the kids help feed her :) Don't worry... your job will still be the litterbox... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I have a question. We have had our cat for about 7 years. We got her when she was only a couple months old. She is very timid and always has been. She has never liked dh. She has never let our kids do anything for her other than feed her, ever. She hardly ever comes out of our master bedroom. We have always said she would be better off with a single old woman. That is the kind of cat she is. She only lets me near her. ?? I had a cat like this. She was my cat before I was married, and even though she tolerated my dh she never warmed up to kids. When we were going to have some houseguests, including children, I asked my mom if she would please give the cat a quiet vacation at her house during that time. As it turned out, I never brought the cat back. She was very happy living quietly with my mom. If you know a nice lady who would be willing to take your cat I would certainly consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 My grown daughter and her husband had a cat that had some of the same issues as your cat. Their cat was very scared of everything and didn't like being inside around the kids. He was very unhappy outside because everything scared him. They gave him away to an older single woman who keeps him indoors but lets him out just a little bit on the patio, which he likes. He sleeps in her bed - which he wasn't allowed to do at my daughters - and gets lots of attention. My daughter said her mother in law has seen the cat at his new home - and he seems very happy. He purrs a lot when his new owner gets home from work. They did this cat a big favor by finding him a new home with a single lady who enjoys him very much. I'm glad for the kitty that he has a home he is much happier in now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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