Giraffe Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Since y'all were so helpful with my meal plan question, I'll go ahead and drop the sleep one on you and see what the Hive can do: I love my DD. She's spirited, funny, perceptive, and sensitive. She's always been a tough child to get to sleep. As a baby I had to rock her to sleep and not put her down until she was fully out. No putting her down sleepy to drift off on her own. No way, no how. Cry it out didn’t work, only made things worse. Before she was 18 months she gave up naps unless I held her the entire time. She would wake up if I set her down. Every. Single. Time. (I watched a lot of TV during that time since I couldn't hold a book and her!) She gave them up completely before she was two. She has always slept better if I was in the room. As a newborn she wasn’t content to just be next to me in her bassinet – she wanted to be in the bed. When she was a little older (still less than a year old), there was a twin mattress in her room and often I would end up sleeping in there because she was frantic and crying without me there. Now she's three. She still wants someone in her room until she's asleep, which I don't mind. I figure eventually she'll grow out of it. But in the night she wakes up and if I'm not in there, she panics. She doesn't want DH, she wants me. She says "Watch me sleep. I'm scared." Sometimes she’s calm, but usually she’s crying. I’m bleary-eyed, half asleep myself, and not coherent. For months I slept in a chair in her room. Now I've set up another mattress in her room specifically for me. I'll put her to sleep, leave to sleep a few hours in my own bed, and then return when she wakes. Not if, when. She wakes anywhere between one and six times a night. If I’m there, she just lies back down and goes back to sleep. If I’m not – crying, sometimes screaming, and coming to get me. I don’t know if this is relevant or not, but this is our fourth residence since she was born. We started on the west coast, moved overseas, moved back to the east coast, and now live in Texas. She’s never seemed to have an issue with the moves (the first was when she was a whopping 3 months old) and I’ve always tried to make her room or her space “hers†and special right away. Her room here was set up before she and I ever set foot in the house, thanks to DH (who preceded us) and MIL (who’s local). I’ve never met a child with such demanding sleep habits. My nieces just go to bed and go to sleep. My family worries that she needs a counselor. I’m beginning to wonder myself. Some think it’s a power struggle – maybe, but I don’t think so. Then again, I’m in the weeds, can’t see out. DH understands, but obviously prefers I sleep with him, not our daughter. I am chronically sleep deprived because of the interruptions (DD goes back to sleep much more readily than I do). What sayeth the Hive? Gently, please. Sleep deprivation can make a person touchy… ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Why don't you put her mattress on the floor next to *your* bed? And you know, this will really be for a short time of your life. Do you think your dh might consider allowing your dd to co-sleep with you, in your bed, for awhile? It really won't be for that long, and if it means that *you'll* get enough rest...couldn't you try it for awhile? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I don't find it surprising--she needs you to fall asleep so if she wakes in the night (we all do this though usually don't come fully out of sleep or wake and go back to sleep without realizing) and you're not there like you were when she fell asleep she wakes fully and needs you to go back to sleep. I'd move her mattress into your room in your place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwilliams Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 My philosophy has always been whatever allows everyone to get good sleep. I decided not to buy into western culture philosophy about encouraging a child to sleep independently. My son slept in our bed until he was too big to fit around 5 and then slept on the floor in a tent. We have had various sleeping routines and my son has no problem sleeping in his bed, the playroom, my bed or my bedroon. I personally do not think it is important to facilitate independent sleeping for children. My son eventually did not need me near without any effort on my part. I would let my child sleep wherever they wanted as long as it did not interfere with my sleeping or my husband's sleeping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 Why don't you put her mattress on the floor next to *your* bed? And you know, this will really be for a short time of your life. Do you think your dh might consider allowing your dd to co-sleep with you, in your bed, for awhile? It really won't be for that long, and if it means that *you'll* get enough rest...couldn't you try it for awhile? DH has no problem with her co-sleeping. DD doesn't want it. She wants to be in her own room, in her castle. Yes, you read that right. She sleeps in a castle tent that's about 4-5 foot square. Seriously. It's on a full size mattress and she sleeps in it. Makes her feel safe. There's that word again. Safe. Why doesn't she feel safe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This might seem totally unrelated, but go with me. Is it at ALL possible she has a dairy allergy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 This might seem totally unrelated, but go with me. Is it at ALL possible she has a dairy allergy? Sorry so long in replying - got off the computer for a while (I know, scary!). I have no idea if she has a dairy allergy. What would be the signs? The child practically lives on dairy - milk, cheese, yogurt - in all sorts of forms and incarnations. If she's got an allergy - Houston, we have a problem.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I have no idea if she has a dairy allergy. What would be the signs? The child practically lives on dairy - milk, cheese, yogurt - in all sorts of forms and incarnations. If she's got an allergy - Houston, we have a problem.... This would be a sign. The sleep pattern from birth is classic dairy allergy. The diet heavy in dairy is a sign. Red cheeks (especially as an infant) can be a sign. Rage/anger can be a sign. Constipation can be a sign. Limited palate/diet can be a sign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 This would be a sign. The sleep pattern from birth is classic dairy allergy. The diet heavy in dairy is a sign. Red cheeks (especially as an infant) can be a sign. Rage/anger can be a sign. Constipation can be a sign. Limited palate/diet can be a sign. Houston.... We have a problem. Rage - not so much, but when she loses it, she loses it big time. Red cheeks - just started this, attributed it to the nasty cold she has. The rest - she's had her whole life. I had to teach the child how to poop as an infant (don't ask - you don't want to know). Can I make the pediatrician test her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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