Jayne J Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I am almost in tears here, and a bit embarassed, but I feel so alone I just need to hear from others. My ds is just so difficult when it comes to math. He swears that he hates it, and each day, our 25-30 minute lesson turns into 45 minutes of H#%%. He has all these baffling tics, that get him all in a twist, crying and yelling, and even hitting me (this is way beyond acceptable and really really rare). For example, he loves the number 8 and hates the number 9. If there are more 9s than 8s on a page, he gets really mad and cries. He will deface the pages, scribbling over the nines and refusing to answer those problems. If there is an orange box (we use Horizons, which has colors) and the answer does not have an 8 in it, he gets mad (orange is his favorite color). I just don't get it. I have even told him that he may write 8+1 instead of 9 if he choses, but then he gets mad because no one will understand the answer. However, the kid is pretty mathy. He frequently does problems in his head, converting inches to feet and adding/subtracting heights. He loves mental math games, where we give him a series of numbers and he has to add them up. He does stuff like this all the time, suprising us with the complexity of the problem. (He is not a genius or anything, he just has great math instincts. He naturally combined by tens when adding, and when we got to that part of the text, he thought it was stupid because "everybody already does that") Overall, the rest of school is fine. He loves history and science, does well in Latin. He is a reluctant writer, but does it. We have some discipline issues during other lessons, but nothing I consider beyond the pale, like in math. (daydreaming, doodling, that sort of thing.) In day to day life, he is a bit uptight and high strung, temperment-wise--typical first child overacheiver stuff, which we are working on, but he is generally well behaved. He does have a short temper (he comes by it honestly...:blushing:) We are addressing these issues and have always had consistant standards of behavior and consequences. I feel like I am destroying this child for math, he hates it so much. I switched from Horizons to MM, thinking that might help, but the same issues resurfaced, so now we alternate (I like MM!) Help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 If I were you, I would dump the program. I would set to look at Saxon, MUS, and yes even Teaching Textbooks. These programs will do math in different ways. Take a look, but I think you will lean towards MUS or TT from the sound of it. The key is to stick with a program and not bounce around. Yes, I supplement, but I stick with Saxon myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying my best Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I would devote a special day for #9. Just from the top of my head i would do: - make a special letter that comes from #9 saying that it wants to make friends with him and that it has some special surprise for him. - make #9 cards and tie a candy maybe and hide all around the house :) - and the last card might be a trip to Chuck-e-cheese or Incredible Pizza just from #9? something creative for him to love that number? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motherdear Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 So please excuse me if it's already been said. Having had difficulty with my DS several years ago, we dropped math for a little while.. Two months? (except for drill). When I picked up again, we "played" school. I did not use the book (in front of him anyway). Using a silly name (Mrs. Snuffledwarf) an animated voice, big, big glasses and a funny hat I taught him lessons using a 3 x 5 white board and colorful Expo markers. and we took turns being the teacher. I pretended there were other children in the class and called on them to work out problems. Of course, he was the only student so he transformed from John to Paul to Michael (I did the girls) with changes of hats, glasses and other props. This was very silly, however the silly teacher was more effective than myself at the time. As he felt more confident. Mrs. Snuffledwarf slowly begin giving out half worksheets (cut in half to look simple), and DS did grow out of it. Now, this may require changing workbooks if that's what he really hates! It didn't come to that, but I did consider the LIFEPAC style books (Christian Light Education, Alpha Omega) because they're skinny (nonthreatening) and colorful. For what it's worth… I hope it helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhaddon Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Can you just take a break from math (ducks). I know that sometimes even a few day break will give DS the recharge he needs. Like 2 weeks ago he would throw a fit, cry, run away for anything that he had to write/color. We stopped anything he had to write and copywork. For the past 2 days he has been coloring and doing his own copywork non stop all day. To the point I have to pull him away to even do what he used to love! Sometimes I wonder if it is like right before a growth spurt they tend to have trouble... I would also suggest possibly trying another program if it is in the budget. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Does he display this kind of melt down in any other areas of life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 :iagree: that's what I was wondering. Dd11 has similar issues with other things and she has been diagnosed as OCD. Not saying that is the problem but definitely doesn't seem right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 This is just to say that my dd also had favorite numbers and "unfriendly" numbers she disliked when she was young. Some kids do that, with numbers and with letters. She then moved on to having favorite primes and squares and loving palindrome numbers. I think that kids with an interest in numbers often relate to them with an intensity that is startling to the rest of us. I love the idea mentioned by an earlier poster of creating a 9 "character" who makes surprise appearances connected with something fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 This is just to say that my dd also had favorite numbers and "unfriendly" numbers she disliked when she was young. Some kids do that, with numbers and with letters. She then moved on to having favorite primes and squares and loving palindrome numbers. I think that kids with an interest in numbers often relate to them with an intensity that is startling to the rest of us. I love the idea mentioned by an earlier poster of creating a 9 "character" who makes surprise appearances connected with something fun. Oh, I had never heard of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) Oh, I had never heard of this. Or then, maybe my dd is just really odd.:D But I have read about this in several biographies of mathematicians, and heard anecdotes from other parents. In dd's case, the intensity of this gradually dissipated. She still had favorite primes as late as age twelve or so, but since then I don't think I've really heard much of anything of that nature from her, although perhaps she's merely keeping quiet about it. She's not a math lover now, which saddens me as all through elementary school she seemed to really enjoy thinking, talking about, and doing math. We had a very nontraditional curriculum but now that we're into high school, it's become very textbook bound, mostly because I have no idea what to do differently any longer. Edited January 8, 2011 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nansk Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I have read (in another forum) about some VSL kids (and VSL moms too) associating numbers with specific colours. It apparently helps them do math very fast in their heads. How about if you printed the MM worksheets in black-and-white and let him write the numbers in colour pens? So he can always write an 8 in orange. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'd suggest trying out the Teaching Textbooks grade 3 on their website. My older daughter has really enjoyed the program and it's made a wonderful difference for our relationship. We watch the lesson together to make sure she understands (and for me to follow what she's working on), but she does the work by herself. There is no more procrastination or resistance -- she even likes math. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmamma Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Oh my dear...that sounds rough. We were having tears and words every day over math. Honestly it is not an area in which I am able to teach strongly :confused: We just switched to Teaching Textbooks. The first level is 3, which we are doing even though it is a bit easy for both my 8 and 9 yo. We are just doubling up on lessons to start level 4 asap. Love the lecture-review-problem set up. I really recommend trying a sample lesson on their site. I never thought I would be for computer curr. but they are loving it. An added blessing...the level 3 background is orange:p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne J Posted January 8, 2011 Author Share Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) I am sooo grateful to hear from you all. The post sat here yesterday and only got two replies and I began to feel foolish. In reply to several things: Ds doesn't really display these kinds of behaviors anywhere else. He doesn't have strong OCD tendencies that I have seen--he is fine with mess and clutter, doesn't have clothing issues (tags, types, colors etc.) He is a picky eater but not beyond normal, doesn't panic over lost toys/pieces or have any repetitve behaviors. He is type A, but not OCD, and the type A behaviors seem limited to acheivement issues. KarenAnne--your posts made me feel much better--it helps to know that someone else feels the same way as ds about numbers. It is a real relief. Thank you! I will check out TT. Honestly, part of our problem may stem from my less mathy self trying to teach to a more mathy kid. I am sure it won't help with the 8 and 9 thing, but maybe it will ratchet down the stress enough that he can cope better. And I am already thinking about how I can help him "make friends with 9". I really like that idea! Thanks again to all of you--I feel much better now. Edited January 8, 2011 by urpedonmommy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhaddon Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Don't feel silly. I love things in pairs, even numbers. I have heard of many other adults loving certain primes or numbers as well. I have to have evens when I eat certain foods, it was worse when I was younger- as in if I had an odd number of M&M's I'd throw one away and eat them 2 at a time ;) I told my husband when we married it was either 2, 4, or 6 children. When we had #3 I told him he knew what that meant haha. So yes, we have 4 and are done. I function perfectly fine in life and have been able to tone down my "oddness" and it has never affected me other than maybe someone laughing at me for a second. I also had a best friend in HS that was the exact same way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jj76 Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I understand to a great extent your dilemma. I had a similar problem ( not the exact) on my hands with my oldest 3 years back.....when she was in K/1st grade. Strong reactions to certain subjects/things with similar high strung behavior in daily life.......eccentricities. I too was at my wits end and considered perhaps sending her to school. After a lot of prayers and advices, I approached a Nuero-developmentalist who had worked with a lot of homeschoolers. She helped us....without any labels/judgement, she helped me understand my child a little better, found ways (through certain exercises) to calm her reactions to certain external sensory stimuli, which was causing her extreme reactions. She is a totally different child now. She is doing so well with her education and in daily life. Our brains are so complex!!! It is important to find out his extreme reaction to "the number 9" and other eccentricities...... You could change math programmes, but unless you find out the "why" .....the problem may persist. Taking a break is also a very useful thing sometimes......it will help to calm him down too. But this is only my humble opinion.....it worked for me to pursue to find out the "why", hence I mentioned it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jj76 Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Don't feel silly. I love things in pairs, even numbers. I have heard of many other adults loving certain primes or numbers as well. I have to have evens when I eat certain foods, it was worse when I was younger- as in if I had an odd number of M&M's I'd throw one away and eat them 2 at a time ;) I told my husband when we married it was either 2, 4, or 6 children. When we had #3 I told him he knew what that meant haha. So yes, we have 4 and are done. I function perfectly fine in life and have been able to tone down my "oddness" and it has never affected me other than maybe someone laughing at me for a second. I also had a best friend in HS that was the exact same way. I love my even numbers too!!!! I do not like odd numbers.......I also have that with shapes like I cannot serve coffee/tea/drinks from dissimilar cup/glasses size......I do not know why it bothers me.....In my mind, it is out of order!!! Oh! well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RENEEinVA Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 You might want to investigate Life of Fred and AoPS, because both of these programs are not your typical math programs. I'm not going to go into details, just check them out.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.