I'm feeling really guilty

[Annabel Lee]

I've come to realize that while I love homeschooling, and I love the *idea* of a CM homeschool, it's really not me at all.

 

That is the hardest part; reconciling reality with our ideals. At the end of the day, at the end of 12th grade, I think what matters more is that some form of school got done rather than waiting for time to execute our perfect plans and falling behind. Some is better than none, and it doesn't have to always be you reading aloud. My boys ea. have a CD "walkman" they use for audiobooks from the library, that way there's no "Mooooom, I don't want to listen to his book!", "Mooooom, his book is too loud and I can't concentrate!", or "Mooooom, I didn't get to hear the beginning and he's ruining it for me!". :D

[fastforward]

My husband does a lot of reading aloud around here, and it is his bonding time with them since he is at work all day. I do still read to them, but not with the same frequency as when my older girls were much smaller.

 

Now that my two older daughters can read fairly well, one of them will read to my 2 year old. The baby is much less likely to run off in the middle of the story if her sister is reading to her, actually.

 

We occasionally turn to audiobooks, as well. I like to think that I am no less a good mother, or better yet, no less a good homeschooling parent because *I* don't do all the reading aloud.

[mazakaal]

I haven't read all the responses, but I'll throw in my $.02.

 

I was feeling the exact same thing a couple of years ago. I had read so much to my oldest two when they were little, but with 4dc life had just gotten busier and more hectic, and I never managed to fit in a lot of read alouds for my younger two. I worried that they wouldn't have the same happy read-aloud memories that the older two had. And I worried that they wouldn't develop a real love for reading as they got older.

 

One thing that helped was that I did a geography study with dd for her 1st grade year and scheduled read-aloud time into every day with lots of great picture books on the various countries and cultures. That sort of got things going for us and helped both the younger ones to learn to sit still for read-alouds. Last year we studied American history and moved into more of the chapter books, Little House, etc. Because it was a scheduled 'subject' for us to cover in school time each day, it got done, at least it did most of the time.

 

We also do read alouds at night when I'm feeling up to it, but I don't try to get them in bed early to give time for reading. I get them ready at the usual time, 8pm, and then we read for 20-30 minutes. There's a huge incentive for them to sit still and quiet because if they don't, then they're sent straight to bed. This was actually how I got my older boys to sit still and quiet for read-alouds. We'd read after lunch, and they knew that if they were quiet, they got to take a later nap. If they fussed, they were sent straight down for their naps. This was when they were 2 and 3 years old.

 

So, all that to say that it's not too late for your dc. You can turn it around. Maybe try to do it when the 2yo is napping, or right before his nap with the understanding that if he's quiet, he can stay up and listen, but if he's not, then it's off to nap-land for him.

[mazakaal]

Oh my. You guys have reminded me of my behavior several years ago when I was reading White Man's Burden and Africa Unchained after spending time in South Africa. Frequently my youngest, who was about 3 at the time, would crawl into bed with me ages after his bedtime, because he couldn't fall asleep. He'd want me to read to him, but I was so engrossed in what I was already reading that I didn't want to switch to a picture book. I'd read White Man's Burden and Africa Unchained to him instead. Eventually he started asking for those books to be read aloud to him at night because they helped him fall asleep. :lol:

[melissel]

:grouphug: The two year old won't be two forever. My youngest is five so I can say that now.:001_smile:

 

:lol: This was going to be my advice too! My second is 5 now, and we're back to reading a good bit (still not as much as I'd like though!). She used to shriek when I even tried to play audiobooks (during meals or in the car). Now she's old enough to either sit and listen when I read to her sister or go find herself something to do!

 

However, I also agree with the poster who said that more parents are reading aloud than ever before. No one ever read aloud to me as a kid, and I devoured books on my own as a child and am still an avid reader reader. I don't have cuddly readaloud memories; instead, I have memories of my dad taking me to the library for hours at a time, where I'd lose myself in the world of books and story after story. So don't worry, you're not ruining them, I promise! And the season WILL come back around.

[prairie rose]

I haven't had a chance to read all the responses so sorry if any of this is a repeat but we've just picked up read alouds again around here, with a 4yo and 2yo in the house. :P We accomplish it several ways.

 

#1 Send the two littles out into the yard while we read on the porch or while lying on the trampoline. Our yard is fenced and kid proof. Obviously you probably wouldn't want to send them out alone or if your yard wasn't safe for them to roam with limited supervision. On rainy or cold days I have toys and activities that only come out on these kind of days that keep them occupied while we read or do whatever needs doing.

 

#2 Audiobooks. We get ours from Librivox.org and our library's digital download center online. Both wonderful resources that I don't know how I lived so long without.

 

#3 Share the reading. We are reading Harry Potter at the moment. We each take a turn reading one page. Everyone seems more engrossed in the story this way. Not sure why but it works and they enjoy it so I think we will keep doing it this way. :thumbsup:

[silliness7]

:grouphug: Don't beat yourself up over it. You can only do so much. Think about what it is you wanted to accomplish with reading outloud and see if there are some different ways to achieve that without you reading outloud. If you are most concerned with developing linguistic skills maybe you can build in audio-book time. Maybe the car would work better than lunch. Maybe at night they can listen before bed. My boys like to do this.

 

If it is mainly family memories, well there are dozens and dozens of ways to do that besides reading out loud. I know it's easy to feel guilty when you hear someone gushing about all the great memories they've built with their kids reading the day away when you can barely get through a chapter in Charlotte's Web without wanting to scream. I've got a 1 yo and 3 yo. I tried to do our reading aloud earlier a few days ago. It was mass chaos...not a good memory.

 

I used to read a lot to my kids when there were less of them and my older ones were younger and school wasn't as time consuming. It is hard to fit it in. My goal is to read about 20 min. 4x per week. That's usually one chapter. (2 if they're short) But when things get crazy this does get dropped. So far this school year I've managed Alice in Wonderland. That's it. Hoping to have Mary Poppins finished today but I think we've got 4-5 chapters left.

 

In times like these I remind myself how well I turned out and nobody read out loud to me once I was reading on my own...except for that one time my 5th grade teacher read A Wrinkle in Time to the class and I daydreamed instead of listening. :001_smile:

 

ETA: I started reading through the responses and saw you mention that it was hard to get back into the readings if you're only reading 1x per week. Perhaps you could read something like Lang's Fairy Tales. That way each story stands alone and you can take your time and not deal with the comprehension issues which likely compound your guilt.

Edited November 19, 2010 by silliness7

[dmrranch]

I started reading aloud again this year and I am so glad I did! Instead of it being one of their history books, etc. We're picking literature that we are interested in. Right now, it is Little House on the Prairie series. They can read it for themselves but they like to hear me read it. What's funny, is that my daughter who supposedly hates to read will interrupt me so she can take a turn.

 

I thought I had gotten too busy with "regular" school for it. We had previously tried doing it at bedtime. But, everyone was so tired they would fall asleep before I had finished a chapter. (It might have helped if we sat up instead of laying in the bed. :lol:)

 

Anyway, I read to them after lunch and in preparation for my 3 ds nap. He thought he would like to give up this idea of a nap but I am not ready. So, he has now learned that this is the time to settle down and have quiet time. Sometimes it's in my lap and sometimes it is on the couch with his favorite pillow where I tell him, "It's ok. You don't have to go to sleep. Just listen." Honestly, some days he is still squirmy. But, he has learned that this is what we do during this time. Of course, we have missed days and have to get back on track. But, it is so worth it!