Paying Attention

[hmdavis02]

Hi, all!

 

How do you all keep your kids focused on their tasks? I have two that are dream students who know what they have to do and just get to it, keeping themselves busy and sometimes even forgettting to let me do the teaching. Then there's the other one... This poor child is more worried about the timer in speed drills than the actual math problems, more concerned with his sisters' assignments than his own, and expends more thought toward the book series he is reading than the assignments he has in school. The exception is, if he likes the subject, he stays "tuned in," but he really struggles to pay attention where it is needed the most!

 

I'm just curious if any of you have a student like this and what has worked for you in handling it. We've tried a variety of tactics, and they all have minimal success...

 

Thanks!

[NanceXToo]

Why does he have to have speed tests? I wouldn't want to work on a timer either. You're encouraging speed with math, not attention and diligence? What's the point to that? If you have a kid you know that doesn't work for- adapt. Skip the speed tests. Isn't that part of the beauty of homeschooling, being able to understand and work with each child's individual learning style?

 

I pay more attention to things I'm interested in than things I'm not, too. Don't you? Maybe you can find a way to work a little more within his interests. He likes books? Great. Maybe you can work more of his curriculum around the books he enjoys. Maybe you can find ways to make things a little more hands on for him. Maybe you can reconsider some of what you're thinking he "needs" and determine if he really does need them. I mean, I have no idea what sort of assignments you give him, or how old he is, or anything, but it's something to think about.

 

If he's distracted by his sister's assignments, maybe you can find ways to modify them to make them work for him too, if he's interested. Or maybe they need a separate workspace where he won't be distracted.

[hmdavis02]

Why does he have to have speed tests? I wouldn't want to work on a timer either. You're encouraging speed with math, not attention and diligence? What's the point to that?

 

Yes, I am encouraging speed with the basic number facts in order to make the multiple-digit math skills a little easier to work on. So no, not encouraging speed instead of attention and diligence, but in addition to. The point is to be able to work under pressure/deadlines since that is often a part of life after school. Perhaps flash cards would work better, though. Hmmm. . . Thanks.

 

I pay more attention to things I'm interested in than things I'm not, too. Don't you?

 

Yes, but I have learned to pay attention to what does not interest me when necessary and I would like to develop that skill in my kiddos. Math, unfortunately, is uninteresting to him but a very useful skill to have, even if all he ever does with it is balance his checkbook.

 

If he's distracted by his sister's assignments, maybe you can find ways to modify them to make them work for him too, if he's interested. Or maybe they need a separate workspace where he won't be distracted.

 

Modifying his sisters' assignments is not a bad idea, but the separate workspace is even better since he likes to "help" her with her assignments (and therefore robbing her of the answers, which she does not enjoy). The main problem I have with separate workspace is keeping it separate enough where he does not overhear/"contribute" to the others but not so separate where his pencil becomes a b51 bomber. . .

 

Thanks for your suggestions. I will keep in mind your advice to go heavy on what he enjoys.

 

[katemary63]

My DD9 has a list of things to accomplish for the day. She also has a plan for the second half of her day. We think about it in advance and decide what time we need to be done in order to be able to participate in a certain activity: swimming, horseback riding or even just playing a certain game, watching TV or what ever. If we don't get done before the determined time, she knows she will have to skip her chosen activity for that day. She works like a busy bee to get done in time and almost always does. The cute thing is, some days she decides to just take it easy and not plan her afternoon. Her "plan" is to take most of the day to finish her school. That's okay too.

[Night Elf]

First, it would depend on their ages. There is a huge difference between expecting a 5 year old to stay on task and a 10 year old.

 

Second, again depending on age, I believe in short quality stints of work rather than length of time. For example, 15 mins. of best work on math is better than 30 mins. of dragging. Learning won't happen if the brain is in passive mode and/or not engaged.

 

Third, I don't like timed tests. My son was like yours and couldn't focus on his math because he worried about the timer. I believe that speed with math is like speed with typing, it comes as more practice is done. My son is now 14 years old and doing fine in math. He just finished Algebra and is beginning Geometry. He works quickly and accurately, mostly because he just wants to be done since Math isn't a 'fun' subject.

 

Fourth, are they sitting at the same table at the same time? Are they close in age so their work is the same? There may be an air of competitiveness that isn't always conducive to learning. Competitiveness makes me shut down.

 

Fifth, are you sitting with them or are they working independently?

[NanceXToo]

I'm sorry... I didn't mean to imply/shouldn't have implied that the speed thing was INSTEAD of attention and diligence. But, still, I think you have to take YOUR son's personality and learning style into account. If a timer does nothing but stress him out and it prevents him from applying that attention and diligence... then he's not ready for those timed speed tests, and he's not benefitting from them. And I just don't think they are necessary in every case. You son is one of those cases. It sounds like he'd do better without them.

 

Learning to work under pressure and deadlines and learning to pay attention to things you have no interest in, are both things that develop on their own, with time and maturity and/or out of necessity when exploring your chosen path as an adult.

 

Again, I have no idea how old your son is. But something he is incapable of doing at age 8 may not be something he'd be incapable of doing at age 12, and something he'd be incapable of doing at age 12, might not be something he'd be incapable of doing at age 19, etc.

[hmdavis02]

Thanks, all of you! He is 9, we all work in the same room most of the morning (sometimes going to an adjoining room if a particular assignment needs extra concentration) and I stay pretty much in the room with them, except to check on the one or two in the other room. The speed tests are not so much of an issue as just general staying on task. He is my oldest and likes to be "in the know," and so is mightily concerned as to what his younger sisters are doing. It really is something that has gotten better as he's gotten older, although we have occasional relapses, and I think I may have had a particularly frustrating day with him on the day of my first post... I'm afraid I've been quite tired and have not had the patience I should lately. I do wish, however, that he would be less concerned about reliving his old lessons with his sisters than doing his current stuff! He's just one that, rather than work through the less-pleasant tasks to get them over with, will spend a lot of time and energy dawdling, complaining, slapping his forehead dramatically, etc. Again, we've made progress, but the first couple of weeks of school each year is like starting from square one--we have to fight all the same battles of the will, have all the same discussions, go through all the same scenarios. I think more than anything I just needed to vent a little... Thanks for 'listening!'

[Night Elf]

T Again, we've made progress, but the first couple of weeks of school each year is like starting from square one--we have to fight all the same battles of the will, have all the same discussions, go through all the same scenarios. I think more than anything I just needed to vent a little... Thanks for 'listening!'

 

Oh yeah, BTDT. I finally asked my children to stop the dramatics because it made me want to cry. Neither wanted to see me cry so they calmed down. I agreed to spread the work out a bit and work with them more often. We also take more frequent breaks. Dd12 has improved tremendously. Ds14 just has his days where he rolls his eyes and sighs really big. But when I sigh and lay my head down, he gets back on track. We work as quickly as possible to get the school work done. I accepted the fact that my children will do school because they want to stay home to school. But they are not the kind of children to take a topic and run with it. Their outside interests are not academic. They aren't readers. Well, dd12 has become more of a reader because she joined a really good book club to be with her friends. Once I accepted that we weren't going to be the 'cuddle on the couch' reading family or the 'let's do math because it's cool' family, attitudes have improved.

 

Good luck!

[kalanamak]

Then there's the other one.

 

I'm just curious if any of you have a student like this and what has worked for you in handling it. We've tried a variety of tactics, and they all have minimal success...

!

 

 

Mine is like that sometimes, and honestly, sometimes I have to be a bit mean. I tell him very sharply (after 2 prompts to stay on task.... I use "focus please" or "eyes on the prize" or "look to the work at hand") that such and such a desired thing will be scratched (trip to the park) if he doesn't straighten up and fly right. It is short, to the point, not punitive, and it works 98% of the time. If it gets really bad, we quit, but we then do housework, to keep him off the "purposefully distracted" path.

 

I have also had the (honest) talk to him about part of what he is learning is to control his mind and body...to be able to ignore the salient and focus on the pertinent, to be able to willfully still his body and cone in his vision on his work.

 

However, I have one student, and this happens one day a week. (it is very annoying :grouphug:). If I had more than one student, I know this one would have to be isolated. I'm on the verge of even closing the blinds on weekends when there is a lot of activity outside....cars coming and going. This seems to be improving with age, which also helps me carry on.

HTH