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Personal evolution


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I'll start. I did not like myself much. I tried too hard to find my way and fit in. I wasn't comfortable with myself so how could I make real friends?

 

Now, I am more secure with myself. I do what I feel I am led to do for my family regardless of what others or society might feel. I am liking myself more over time. I am trying to be better about that. I am definitely feeling like I am more of who I should have been all along. I do not wish to go back in time. I did not like me then. I cringe.

 

Where I am now: Yes, I am surprised at what I have turned out to be doing. I nursed my children (for a long time!), we slept with out children when they needed us too, and we educate them at home. I never would have envisioned this for my life. But I am totally at ease with our decisions.

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Before kids; I was scared, selfish, and had no real direction. After kids; my children taught me to be brave, they showed me that there were things far greater than myself, and I am no longer scared.

 

I don't know if I would have grown up as much as I did if I had not had children, but in watching my brothers, who don't have kids, I somehow think not.

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I am different than I was before kids. I don't like who I was before. I have evolved and am continuing to evolve. I still have a long, long.... long way to go.

 

I have undergone (last nine years) and still undergo a huge amount of introspection. I have come to terms with my upbringing and the person it created. I am working to make myself the person I would prefer to be, instead. I am not surprised by my adult self as I do believe that we are a product of both nature and nurture. I am trying to accept that my parents were likewise a product of nature and nurture.

 

I seek spiritual growth at this point in my life. I hope that I'm achieving at least a little of that, although somedays I wonder about that....

 

I am beginning to change my mind about what I want from my life when my children are grown up and on their own. Maybe that's just a part of some mid-life crisis, or the beginnings of menopause, etc., LOL. I vacillate between being interested in returning to school and work, trying to write and/or have my own business (like a book store), and joining the Peace Corp on any given day..... What shall I be when I grow up?

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I'll start. I did not like myself much. I tried too hard to find my way and fit in. I wasn't comfortable with myself so how could I make real friends?

 

Now, I am more secure with myself. I do what I feel I am led to do for my family regardless of what others or society might feel. I am liking myself more over time. I am trying to be better about that. I am definitely feeling like I am more of who I should have been all along. I do not wish to go back in time. I did not like me then. I cringe.

 

Where I am now: Yes, I am surprised at what I have turned out to be doing. I nursed my children (for a long time!), we slept with out children when they needed us too, and we educate them at home. I never would have envisioned this for my life. But I am totally at ease with our decisions.

 

I don't have much to add beyond that for myself, so I'll just say...:iagree:

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Before kids and even when oldest was young, I thought I knew lots more than I really did. :D I was sure that if *I* ruled the world, and people just did what *I* thought they should do, then the world would be a much better place.

Now I know that I really don't know much, and that what's right for *me*, is not what's right for someone else.

Thank GOD that *I* do NOT rule the world, LOL.

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Gosh, pre-DH and kids I was sooo young. I wasn't raised a chrisitan and lived a very non-christian life. I made a lot of mistakes as a teen, but alot of stuff happened that makes me the person I am today, if that makes sense? I never wanted to get maried or have kids, yet I got married at 18 ( met DH at 16)

 

Today I am strong and independent. I love being a mother and couldn't imagine having chosen a different path.

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