Why do I feel so guilty?

[EmmaNZ]

I have 4 children - ds5.5 who is doing school at home with me, dd4 who goes to kindy 3 days a week, with ds2 and ds5 weeks just hanging out! My ds5 is a very sociable chap - he likes to play and chat and visit people. He is happy at home though, enjoys what we do, and keeps himself busy with jigsaws, legos, audiobooks etc. He does riding, soccer, gymnastics and swimming, plus has a few friends we do play dates with. Yesterday we spent ALL afternoon at the park with the other homeschoolers.

 

Just recently my dd4 has started being invited to play at her friends' houses - without ds obviously. He is upset and angry at being left out! Incidentally dd4 only does swimming as an activity. She often has to hang about waiting for him to finish something or other.

 

So why do I feel so guilty and what do I need to do? Should I let him have a friend over to play when she goes out? I don't mind at all having friends over (in fact they keep each other busy and I get to relax a bit), but I don't want to start setting a precedent.

 

There is no way I want to send him to school, but I know he would love it because he would be surrounded by people all day. I think this might be part of the reason I feel guilty - I am choosing something for him that if given the choice he probably would not choose!

 

Any thoughts?

[Mejane]

There is no way I want to send him to school, but I know he would love it because he would be surrounded by people all day. I think this might be part of the reason I feel guilty - I am choosing something for him that if given the choice he probably would not choose!

 

 

 

For clarification - why not?

[ChristusG]

I would just have him understand that everything will not always be fair. Sometimes he'll be invited to places, sometimes his siblings will be invited to places.

 

As far as sending him to school, I guess that depends on the reasons you are homeschooling. We are homeschooling for a bunch of reasons, of course, but one of the main ones is that we are Christians and do not feel that our child should be exposed to a lot of the secular things in a public school. And so even if our child was a social butterfly (which, she is not), we still would not send her to school due to our reasons and that children do not always know what's best for them in the long run.

[Aubrey]

1. You feel guilty because that is how we women (often) express love. We also worry.

 

2. Sure, invite friends over!

 

3. I have a dd who'd love school, too. I think it's as important (to me) to keep her home as ds who'd be miserable there. Why? Precisely because she'd have her heart pulled away. She's got the coolest, spunkiest personality combined w/ a gentleness I've never encountered, & she's incredibly beautiful. She'd likely be popular w/ everybody she meets, kids & teachers alike. But then...sometimes I think people like that become so pleased w/ pleasing people that they get stuck in that "role" & actually lose themselves.

 

But boy, when she's grown & ready for the world, she's going to take it by storm. The difference? She'll have found her roots first.

[Mom0012]

If you have enough advance notice, I would try to set up a playdate for your son during the same time your daughter's is taking place. I always try to do this because it saves me having to allot time for playdates at two separate times and it keeps the kids happy.

 

As mine are getting older, it's not as important to them that they take place at the same time, but I still like to try to do it that way because it streamlines my schedule.

 

Lisa