The fleecing of the gurest

[Parrothead]

Potlucks are standard among my group of friends, so I wouldn't think twice about it, even for a baby shower. But we are all good friends, have been for years, and we all know we are all in the same boat financially. From dh's coworkers who I barely know? I don't know about that one. I agree with PP though, if it were important to dh to go, I would go and do my best to be charming.

 

The retirement parties with a cover charge are bizarre to me. Is the retiree throwing the party and charging?

The first one ($40.00) is to help defray the costs of the food and the venue.

 

The second one ($20.00) is to help with the cost of food. I believe the venue is the retirees house, but I may be wrong.

 

The covered dish at the baby shower, I've no idea. I'm afraid to offend anyone if I ask.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I haven't received any invitations like that. Is it regional?

 

(haven't read through the whole thread so I have no idea how the discussion is going)

[Parrothead]

I haven't received any invitations like that. Is it regional?

 

(haven't read through the whole thread so I have no idea how the discussion is going)

Seems the consensus is that the retirement party invites are rude unless specific circumstances are involved. The baby shower invitation could be rude depending on the closeness of the hostess/guest relationship.

[tex-mex]

I'd have refused the retirement parties. I'd have gone to the baby shower with a gift for the baby, but no covered dish. Now, if we were doing a freezer meal shower, I would bring an appropriate freezer meal for after the baby's birth, but I don't think that's what you meant.

:iagree: I like the idea of freezer meals to help the new mom! The inviter should be providing the food & drinks. Call it a potluck -- not a party. And don't charge $$$. Wow. :glare:

[Parrothead]

:iagree:

 

We need a kung fu Miss Manners to go around and knock some heads in. :D

 

People want to throw lavish parties, but don't want to pay for them. Instead of fleecing guests, get over one of those two desires. :001_smile:

 

*I do have to say that the pot luck baby shower would not be uncommon on one side of my family. If it a custom, it's not really rude. Of course, we have casual baby showers thrown by a loving aunt and attended by family. That's different from most showers I have attended outside of that part of the family.*

 

I'm throwing a 40th for my parents, and I started saving now for a party in two years. I expect db and I to pay for it. Some aunts will invariably slip us money to help with it, but we are not planning on charging a cover. :001_huh:

I often think either Miss Manners or Emily Post should be required reading for all graduating seniors.

[AuntieM]

I often think either Miss Manners or Emily Post should be required reading for all graduating seniors.

 

Wonderful idea! Adding it to ds15's reading list...

[Slartibartfast]

I wouldn't attend a party we had to pay $40 in order to go. That is too much.

 

 

Though I WOULD go to a potluck cupcake party where everyone brought cupcakes. :lol:

[nd293]

Asking for money is outrageous - I would decline the invite on principle.

 

I wouldn't be offended if asked to bring a plate of snacks to a baby shower, but asking for a cooked meal would be too much, unless I knew the organiser of the shower well.

 

I'd be fine with the idea of bringing a dish to a "budget consious" wedding. But then I think all efforts to stand against the whole Wedding Industry should be applauded and supported.

 

In general, if I am invited to a BBQ, I expect to "bring a plate" - usually a salad, but maybe bread or a dessert. And we'd take our own drinks. But I wouldn't expect this of a sit-down meal invite.