Sunshine State Sue Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Ds has a df who calls regularly. This df has never accepted an invitation over to our home with the exception of ds's birthday party. He rarely has accepted an invitation to a hs teen party. Whenever he has, mom and younger sister attended as well. Ds has been to their home a few times and has even spent the night there. I don't know why df has never accepted an invitation to our home - I'm extremely curious, but I figure it's none of my business. This df calls regularly to "talk". My ds is a male of much action and few words. He regularly does not answer the phone or return the phone calls, which I was always taught was rude, and have tried to instill in ds, but dh is the exact same way. Being a female, I could talk on the phone all day, so I don't really understand. Obviously, at the ripe old age of 14, ds does not know how to diplomatically explain to df that he's not interested in "talking". I'm not sure that there is a way. Being raised a good Catholic, I have more than my fair share of guilt. I feel guilty that I am not teaching ds to return these phone calls. OTOH, I have to pick my battles, iykwim. I have been thinking about approaching df's mom and explaining that ds doesn't return the calls b/c he doesn't want to "talk". I want to do that partially to see if she provides any information about their reluctance to visits and partially so that she can explain the situation to her ds. The other half of me thinks I ought to just butt out. It's between the boys, and I should let them work it out however they work it out. WWYD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Is your ds curious about why his friend keeps calling but not visiting? I would think a boy saying, "Hey, dude, why don't you want to come hang out here?" would go over better than you asking the friend or the mom. I also think that if the friend was too bothered by your son not returning his calls, he would stop calling or would ask him about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine State Sue Posted June 7, 2010 Author Share Posted June 7, 2010 Is your ds curious about why his friend keeps calling but not visiting? I would think a boy saying, "Hey, dude, why don't you want to come hang out here?" would go over better than you asking the friend or the mom. Yes, he's curious, but he cannot bring himself to ask. It's not in him. It's not in me either. I figure it's none of my business. I also think that if the friend was too bothered by your son not returning his calls, he would stop calling or would ask him about it. Good point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 The next time he calls I would say Sorry, Jim Bob isn't available right now. I will give him the message to call you, but he is pretty tired after xyz so he may not feel like talking then. Is there a message you would like to leave or were you just calling to chat? After a few of these type of responses, he may start getting the picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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