Henry Granju -

[MariannNOVA]

http://mamapundit.com/2010/06/henry-in-photos-and-music/#comment-5178

 

Henry's mom, Katie Allison Granju, posted this on her blog mamapundit.com

If you have 20 minutes, and a box of tissues, take a look. What a beautiful family, what a heartbreaking story, and a compelling reminder to hug our children tightly and teach them well.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I must be living under a rock because I had no idea about this story.

 

It makes me sad.

[MariannNOVA]

I must be living under a rock because I had no idea about this story.

 

It makes me sad.

 

Heartbreakingly sad......and I probably live under a rock as well, trust me. No television, my pc is still inop and I am not rushing to get a new one or to get it repaired. I learned the story from a thread here that Joanne posted and I did a google search.

 

Katie's story of Henry motivated me to get my head out of the sand and talk to all three kids about drugs and alcohol. Having had to open that dialogue years ago with my two older daughters, I daresay I did not wish to do it again, and was kind of hoping that I would find myself with the kids in their 20s and we didn't ever need to have 'that' talk. (And, let me say here that I commend anyone who does have the talk merely b/c they know that they 'should.')

 

I will PM you, D.A.,.........it appears that my dd29 and her dh will be relocating to your neck of the woods - or somewhat in the vicinity of your neck of the woods. He has a job offer.

[cani e porci]

I've been reading Katie Granju's work for what seems like forever -- probably 10 years or better now. I was so shocked when Henry was admitted to the hospital and have been compulsively checking her blog for updates for since then. I just don't understand how this could happen to such a well-loved child.

 

The video posted this morning was so beautiful and so incredibly painful. I just can't take it all in.

[MariannNOVA]

I've been reading Katie Granju's work for what seems like forever -- probably 10 years or better now. I was so shocked when Henry was admitted to the hospital and have been compulsively checking her blog for updates for since then. I just don't understand how this could happen to such a well-loved child.

 

The video posted this morning was so beautiful and so incredibly painful. I just can't take it all in.

 

I know exactly what you mean -- I began reading her work when I was trying to get pg with 'Our Family - Part 2.' Her words written a year or so ago are haunting in light of Henry's death......devastatingly hearbreaking.

[Mom-ninja.]

I can't watch. Summary of what happened?

[MamaT]

Wow, I am at home alone PMSing and feeling terrible while the rest of my family is at church. Wrong time to watch this video.

 

Now I am a mess.

[MariannNOVA]

I can't watch. Summary of what happened?

 

 

www.mamapundit.com

 

 

I understand not being able to watch the video - Katie's blog, however, is worth reading. Henry's eulogy given by his dad has been posted on her blog.

 

Henry died as a result of a combination of injuries he received from an assault (allegedly with a tire iron) and a drug overdose. Henry died last Monday, I believe. Katie's blog was the kick in the pants I needed to bring this subject up with my kids who are probably with me 24/7 so I had been thinking 'why talk about it?' Well, that dialogue has been opened, and will stay open as long as it needs to be. What an indescribable heartache for any family that experiences this.

[Mom-ninja.]

This happened to my neighbor. Their son was murdered due to his involvement with illegal drugs.

 

He started doing drugs because he had MS and prescription drugs were not helping him. his parents knew it was wrong but kind of turned a blind eye because of his condition. He was beat up and then run over. The people who did were never persecuted. :(

[MariannNOVA]

This happened to my neighbor. Their son was murdered due to his involvement with illegal drugs.

 

He started doing drugs because he had MS and prescription drugs were not helping him. his parents knew it was wrong but kind of turned a blind eye because of his condition. He was beat up and then run over. The people who did were never persecuted. :(

 

In light of what Katie Granju writes about 'rear view mirror parenting' in her blog, your post is very interesting. Also, it appears that in her son's case, there are issues which make it seem as if no one will be prosecuted although the alleged assailants are known and have been questioned. Sad.

[Margaret in GA]

Gosh, I just posted a link to this in another discussion on this board. I know Katie IRL-- or should say knew her as I haven't spoken to her in years but do keep up via her blog and am friends with family members. This is so tragic I can't stop thinking about it. When she began alluding to 'problems' he was having about a year or so ago I really had no idea that hard drugs were the issue and assumed everything would work out fine. Like you, I have used this as an opportunity to talk to my kids about drugs. So tragic. :(

[MariannNOVA]

Gosh, I just posted a link to this in another discussion on this board. I know Katie IRL-- or should say knew her as I haven't spoken to her in years but do keep up via her blog and am friends with family members. This is so tragic I can't stop thinking about it. When she began alluding to 'problems' he was having about a year or so ago I really had no idea that hard drugs were the issue and assumed everything would work out fine. Like you, I have used this as an opportunity to talk to my kids about drugs. So tragic. :(

 

I agree. Heartbreaking and tragic.:crying:

[Joanne]

I'm haunted by this. I was on several boards, lists, etc with Katie when my own teen son was born 15 years ago. It was when she was writing and publishing her first book.

 

With my children's genetics, this very real possibility haunts me. Especially now that their Dad and I are divorced which just adds another risk factor. :(:crying:

 

When my kids come back from their Dad's, we'll be talking about Henry - I think they'll be able to relate to him and they need to hear the message he leaves.

[MariannNOVA]

I'm haunted by this. I was on several boards, lists, etc with Katie when my own teen son was born 15 years ago. It was when she was writing and publishing her first book.

 

With my children's genetics, this very real possibility haunts me. Especially now that their Dad and I are divorced which just adds another risk factor. :(:crying:

 

When my kids come back from their Dad's, we'll be talking about Henry - I think they'll be able to relate to him and they need to hear the message he leaves.

 

I understand - I am haunted as well. In fact, haunted is the precise word I would use to describe how I feel. After I read your post about Henry last Monday night, I hugged ds9.5 for hours. I clearly remember being pg (and miscarrying) 13 or so years ago and reading her book. Thankfully, I had reason to re-read it...

 

I spoke with ds9.5 first thing Tuesday morning - it was 'easy' to speak with him and later with the girls with Katie's words so fresh in my mind.

 

Fwiw, my ds9.5 related to the story about Henry and the photos particularly b/c of the guitar -- ds is self-taught since age 4 and just began lessons late last year --we've looked at all the photos of Henry; today, he listened to the song that Henry's guitar teacher wrote (ds writes his own music) - M is sensitive, hurts when he sees injustice, commented on how happy Henry's family looks in the video that is on Katie's blog. My heart goes out to Katie and to every family who has tragedy like this in their lives.

 

I hope your talk goes well with your boys.:grouphug:

[WagsWife]

I watched this last night. When the video was over, I knew what I was going to do. I sat my three girls down around the computer just awhile ago and explained that I was going to show them a long video. I told them they were not going to understand what the point was...but I wanted them to tell me their thoughts at the end.

 

When the video was over, I asked them what they thought of Henry and his family, they said he seemed like a sweet boy with a family who loved him. I then explained how he first tried marijuana at 14 and at 17 went away to a long term treatment home. I told them how just 3 weeks after being home, he was using again...and how drugs ultimately killed him.

 

We talked about how good kids with families who love them make the wrong choices, because they think bad things can't happen to them. I asked them to think about how all those people in the video, who loved Henry, must be feeling now.

 

I told them that I hoped that if/when they are ever faced with the decision to do drugs...that they would remember Henry and his family...and that they would remember that they too, have a family who loves them and would be devastated if something happened to them. Then, I told them that I prayed they would walk away

 

It was a *very powerful visual. I doubt that my girls will forget Henry and his family any time soon. I just wish that outcome would have been different for the Granju family :(

[MariannNOVA]

I just wish that outcome would have been different for the Granju family :(

 

You did good! It certainly motivated me to initiate the dialogue with my three. And, ds did commment many times during the video that there were so many people who loved Henry and he looked like such a happy little kid. It was not wasted on ds, though, that at a certain point in the video, Henry stops smiling.

 

And, yes, I wish the outcome would have been different for the Granju family.:sad:

[Mom-ninja.]

I watched this last night. When the video was over, I knew what I was going to do. I sat my three girls down around the computer just awhile ago and explained that I was going to show them a long video. I told them they were not going to understand what the point was...but I wanted them to tell me their thoughts at the end.

 

When the video was over, I asked them what they thought of Henry and his family, they said he seemed like a sweet boy with a family who loved him. I then explained how he first tried marijuana at 14 and at 17 went away to a long term treatment home. I told them how just 3 weeks after being home, he was using again...and how drugs ultimately killed him.

 

We talked about how good kids with families who love them make the wrong choices, because they think bad things can't happen to them. I asked them to think about how all those people in the video, who loved Henry, must be feeling now.

 

I told them that I hoped that if/when they are ever faced with the decision to do drugs...that they would remember Henry and his family...and that they would remember that they too, have a family who loves them and would be devastated if something happened to them. Then, I told them that I prayed they would walk away

 

It was a *very powerful visual. I doubt that my girls will forget Henry and his family any time soon. I just wish that outcome would have been different for the Granju family :(

 

 

This is a great idea. I will have my 9 yr old watch it.

[WagsWife]

This is a great idea. I will have my 9 yr old watch it.

 

I will say that it was *very emotional for them. By the end of the video, they had kind of figured out that there was some kind of tragic ending and they were tearing up. When it was confirmed that he had died, and what the details were, they were full on crying.

 

I felt really bad about making them cry...I had not anticipated that strong of a reaction. As bad as I felt though...I am glad it was that powerful for them. Like I said in my OP it was a very powerful visual...and one they will not soon forget.