It's official - THEY'RE OURS!!!!!!

[Momma H]

Congratulations! My last two are from foster adoption. It is really a blessing to think back and say, "Whew, glad that is over!" Wahoo!

Stacey

[mommyagain]

As someone who was a family social worker years ago, I know some of what you had to do to make these boys your own. Lots of hoops to jump through, right? But worth every one to gain two sons!

 

I also can imagine how you have transformed their lives. For some reason, your post has me in tears, literally. I am crying into my tea. Why?

 

I remember the children -- the faces, the bruises, the lice. I remember the homes -- the darkness, the stench, the chaos....

 

I remember the bio-parents -- the rage, the shame, the addictions. I remember the foster/adoptive parents -- the longing, the sacrifice, the triumphs. :crying:

 

It was, shall we say, a highly emotional career, LOL. So much anger, guilt, shame, love, heartache, longing, and joy floating around. The laws are so tough sometimes, too.... It was painful to watch, too much for my heart, really.

 

But when I had "placed" a child or sibling group out of an absolute nightmare existence into a truly healthy, loving, stable home -- where a child could not only survive, but thrive -- then it was worth the crazy hours, the dangerous journeys into crack houses riddled with used needles and condoms :001_huh:, the nerve-wracking courtroom dramas, wrapping my head around the horrifying concept of "thrown babies" (if you can't figure it out, don't ask, you'll sleep better), and all the abuse I took as a social worker. ;) If I had a dime for every time I got to hear, "F#@& you, B(*&^%," I could happily retire.

 

Congratulations on giving your sons a family, a place of safety and belonging. Please remember to thank your social worker! :001_smile:

Now your post has ME in tears! All 6 of our kids came to us through foster care, and each time we said, "NEVER again!". The emotional turmoil is great! With these boys it was kind of bittersweet because the bio mom actually loved them, but was truly incapable of parenting (lost previous child due to violent treatment by her). However, she showed no emotion at the last visit! Our first two were abandonded and the mother of our middle two couldn't wait to sign over custody when she found out we wanted them!!

I think we're done now, but only God knows!! I can't bear to see an unwanted child get passed around!!!

 

Oh, and we did thank our social worker profusely!!!!!! And we plan to send pictures and updates to him.

Thank you!

 

P.S. We plan to celebrate "Gotcha Day" every year! :D

[Sahamamama]

Now your post has ME in tears! All 6 of our kids came to us through foster care, and each time we said, "NEVER again!". The emotional turmoil is great! With these boys it was kind of bittersweet because the bio mom actually loved them, but was truly incapable of parenting (lost previous child due to violent treatment by her). However, she showed no emotion at the last visit! Our first two were abandonded and the mother of our middle two couldn't wait to sign over custody when she found out we wanted them!!

 

All those scenarios sound so sadly familiar. My heart went out to the bio-parents who really loved their children and who valiantly tried to be the parents their children needed... but just couldn't get life together while juggling six young children and living on park benches, KWIM? I had one mom who tried so hard to keep her son, and her method of avoiding me was to ride the subway with him all. day. long. That boy was four years old, and he knew everything about the subway. Some life. He ended up with his aunt and uncle, who raised him like a plant -- water, feed, turn, water, feed, turn.... IMO, he would have had more real love from his messed up mom, but the state goes for stability (whatever that is). I really and truly couldn't handle what I had to do and say and document and see, but I do know that someone has to advocate for these children.

 

I worked with another mom who had no idea who the fathers of most her children were. She used to joke around with me and say, "Yeah, I've had five kids by at least seven different men, ha ha ha!" I was at her apartment on 9/11, exactly when the planes hit the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. We waited for hours for the driver to bring her daughter around Philadelphia for a supervised visit.

 

I'll never forget some of my old clients -- the children, the biological parents, the adoptive parents. In fact, I bump into them every now and then. Sometimes I say, "Hey, how's it going?" and sometimes -- like if I'm at Walmart with my kids and see a violent former client -- honey, I push that cart the other way so fast it makes the kids flip.

 

May your hearts embrace each other. May you be their definition of "home." May you have peace in your prayerful choices -- shalom.

[Evergreen Academy]

Congratulations! Our youngest three also joined us through adoption, and adding toddlers and preschoolers kept school quite interesting for a while, LOL! What a blessing for you all.

Aimee

mom to 6 great kids ages 7-19, schooling grades 1, 3, 3 and 6

[MerryAtHope]

So happy for your good news, congratulations! Every time I see your thread comes up it makes me smile! :)

 

Merry :-)

[lovemykids]

Yes, congrats to you! :grouphug:

[momof2girls]

Congratulations!!

 

:D

[Guest aquiverfull]

CONGRATULATIONS CHERYL!! That is wonderful news!! Sorry I'm just seeing this. I have been taking a long break from the boards. I'm so happy for you, enjoy your new little ones!! :)

[mommyagain]

CONGRATULATIONS CHERYL!! That is wonderful news!! Sorry I'm just seeing this. I have been taking a long break from the boards. I'm so happy for you, enjoy your new little ones!! :)

 

Thank you, Kelli! I missed you! But I understand, I need to take a break also and get my house clean :eek:!!!!

[Guest aquiverfull]

Thanks Cheryl. It was a much needed break. It's so easy to get caught up in the excitement on the forums and then I tend to stay on here too much. :)