Book Recs on kids keeping the faith past HS

[lisamarie]

I did a search but didn't find much on the topic of raising kids who keep their faith past high school. I have read a few books on the topic but am looking for some recommendations of good books on the subject.

 

I was looking through the latest copy of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and there is an ad that says "She has an 85% chance of renouncing her faith by the time she graduates from high school" which is what prompted my search.

 

The topic was recently addressed at my church in a sermon along with statistics on our own church--I was unhappily surprised to see that our church wasn't doing exactly stellar itself and I would say that we are doing really well. Amongst faithful parents who go every week and have their kids go every week and who have their kids involved in youth group and mission trips and service projects and high school retreats, the statistics were good--85% stay. For those kids who also take a year off after high school and do a year of service either for our church ministry or in a sister church (usually Latin America or Europe)--100% stay (5% have left our church but only to go on and do other ministry of some sort). Among those parents who aren't faithful members and don't "strongly encourage" their kids to be involved--40% or more leave. I want to be in the 100% category with my kids. I want to do everything I possibly can to ensure my kids stay faithful to their love of Jesus.

 

Hence why I'm looking for some reading material to help. My kids are still very young so it will be a lot easier to start doing the right stuff now.

[HappyGrace]

I think Ken Ham has a new book out about this exact thing named "Already Gone"-I haven't read it but it addresses the statistics, etc.

 

I will be :lurk5: because I'm interested in doing everything I can too! I'm sure you are already praying fervently for your dc in this matter, of course. There is only so much we can do as parents, but I agree that everything we *can* do, we should do! And I'd love to know all that that entails as well!

 

Oh, yes, I just remembered something else-we had Awana Day at our church recently and they had some statistics that 85% of children who faithfully attend Awana stay in the faith into adulthood. (Someone can correct me if I'm wrong on that.) We have a strong Awana program in our church-it is lots of Scripture memory, games and fun-very God honoring.

[ladydusk]

I haven't read it (but it is on my shelf) How to Stay Christian in College by J. Budziszewski may be a good one for you.

[Laurie4b]

Soul Searching by Chris Smith and Melinda Denton and the sequel, Souls in Transition. It's a research book with interviews with many teens and analysis of where they are with their faith and why. Basically, the quality of the parents' spiritual lives and the direct instruction they give their kids is key. Souls in Transition revisits the same teens as young adults. Parental spiritual life still comes through, along with the spiritual lives of the young adults when they were teens. There is one by Tim Keller, too--sorry I can't remember the name and can't find it googling. His main point is don't shelter them.

Edited April 29, 2010 by Laurie4b

[Margo out of lurking]

I think Ken Ham has a new book out about this exact thing named "Already Gone"-I haven't read it but it addresses the statistics, etc.

 

 

Yes, yes, yes. I read this thread with the intention of recommending this book. A friend read it and felt so strongly about it that she gave me a copy.

 

It was eye-opening. My dh was already backing away a bit from our church, but after reading this book, I know that we have to leave.

 

(Not that the book encourages anyone to leave their church; our decision is based on some of our recent experiences with our "youth" group.)

 

This was the book for me. It's been literally life-changing.

[sbgrace]

I can't find the book/author. I'll keep looking. But the consistent finding is that the one biggest factor is spiritual training (and modeling) in the home by parents. Barna has some good books on what's important (spiritual formation wise) in raising kids http://www.amazon.com/Revolutionary-Parenting-Research-Shows-Really/dp/1414307608/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b I liked this one.

Revolutionary Parenting: What Research Shows Really Works

The Revolution is underway, but in this new era, how can parents make a lasting impact in the spiritual lives of their children? To find the answer, George Barna researched the lives of thriving adult Christians and discovered the essential steps their parents took to shape their spiritual lives in childhood.

 

What you do at home is what matters--have a family prayer and bible study life, model what it looks like to live your faith. Pray for your kids. What they see in their parents has been shown time and again to be the biggest predictive factor. Barna keeps finding that the early formation is most important (I keep seeing age nine). Not that transformation doesn't happen older--God can do anything--but what you're doing now is vitally important for what happens later and so it's good you're thinking about it now.

 

edited to add: it's that Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers book referenced above.

(they base this on their research)

“ …we think that the best general rule of thumb that parents might use to reckon their children’s most likely religious outcomes is this: We’ll get what we are.’”

 

But I don't think you need to read that one as much as realize it's your family life and what you model and do now that is the determining factor and put all the energy into that now. I'd be more inclined to read books (like the Barna one) that show how to carry that out at your children's ages now. Books about how to deepen your own spiritual life (like Celebration of Disciplines by Foster) or family devotions stuff might be good choices too.

 

I think the solid research (Barna etc.) is showing it's not church attendance per se but rather parental influence. Maybe the stats you're seeing show parental involvement and that translates to home. But church programs, youth groups, etc. haven't been shown to be the determining factor.

 

I of course want to add that there are certainly kids with no home spiritual life modeled, older teens and adults, etc. who have a transformative spiritual experience and live that out in their adult life even though spiritual seeking/living was not modeled at home. My husband is one. They are just the rare ones.

Edited April 29, 2010 by sbgrace

[EmeraldGirl]

Already Gone - Ken Ham

Do Hard Things - Harris brothers

Don't Waste Your Life - John Piper

[happi duck]

True U from Focus on the Family came to mind when I read your post.

http://www.mytruthproject.org/truthproject/trueu/home.html

 

I've just heard of this...haven't used it.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I dont know if this is what you are looking for, but we are doing alot of Apologetics studies with our kids. That is to teach them why we believe what we believe, so when they come up against questions or people who plain disagree with Christianity they can give solid answers to defend their faith. Alot of kids walking away from the church is because they do not have solid teaching on why they believe what they believe, so when somebody comes with an argument why Christianity is false, they fall into the trap.

 

Here are some GREAT resources!

 

I dont have enough faith to be an atheist

 

Cross Examined.org

 

Answers Academy

 

And there are so many more! Ken Ham is an outstanding apologist.

 

Answers In Genesis Bookstore is loaded with help! There is a book called already gone. I have it. I highly recommend you read it!

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I guess other have also recommended already gone. SUPER AMAZING, though scary and eye opening! Highly recommended!!!!!!!

[lisamarie]

Already Gone was the first book I've read on the topic. I really liked what he had to say and agree with it a lot. I read the whole book in one sitting which is saying a lot for me and this type of book. But I want to read more on the topic because I think he just touched on a small part of the issue--I agree being solid in creation and apologetics is important, but I think there is more to it than that.

 

I can see where he is coming from with sunday school not being the best choice unless ss is remodeled to include things like apologetics and the teachers being trained to stress the full complete accuracy of the Bible. I have also caught myself from saying "Bible story" and instead referring them to as "Biblical accounts of history." And I have pretty much banned Veggie Tales because my 4 year old asked me one day about Jonah and if it really happened and when I said yes, she wanted to know if the pirates were also real. And when I tried to tell her the biblical account of Joseph, she insisted that's not how it happened, his name was Joe, not Joseph, and he was put in a mine, not a pit, and on and on. I never questioned these shows until reading the book.

 

But I don't necessarily agree that pulling kids out of ss and youth group is the way to go. He didn't state that but it was sort of hinted at. In my experience with my own church, the kids who were the most involved in youth group were the ones who chose to goto college in the area and then went onto being involved in the college group and are the ones who are still around today. Those who were on the fringes and their parents didn't stress their involvement in things are the ones who have left. They don't have the relationships.

 

Ultimately yes, it is your relationship with God that should keep you in the pews, but friendships also play a huge part in it from my own experience with my age group (25-35). We're all second generation kids and looking back it was almost 100% predictable who would stay and who would leave. A few have shocked me but not many. And a few have shocked me the other way--I thought for sure they were out of there and instead they've stuck around and now are raising their families in our church.

 

All that to say, I know there is more to it than just strong apologetics. I plan to teach it to my kids starting next year, because I can see that it's important, but there is still more to it than that and that's what I'm looking to find.