New to this with an Aspie...

[Guest MommyofJaxandLogan]

I have so many questions about this I don't know where to start. I have a 10 year old Aspie and want to pull him from public school. I have so much frustration as he is unorganized (as most Aspies are) and I never know what is going on at school, when projects are due, etc. His grades are suffering because I cannot help him at home if I don't know what is going on at school. He is also getting bullied - and the sad part is that he doesn't even understand that the kids are teasing and making fun of him. He thinks it's just in fun. He's gotten physically pushed around by several children, and Logan is often the one to get punished/blamed because of his behavior and wording in handling these situations. I am looking at the virtual academy for him for next year...has anyone had experience with this? Please help...

[Guest]

I just wanted to express my sympathy for what you and your son are going through. My daughter, aged 14, is an Aspie who has never been to public school. Home is a wonderfully safe place for her, but I feel sadness and anger that school cannot be similarly a safe haven for so many kids like your son and my daughter. From around ten to fifteen or sixteen are the hardest ages in that respect -- the years when peer conformity pressure really kicks in, and anyone the least bit different becomes profoundly threatening to other kids and at the same time safe and easy to ridicule and thus prove their own belonging to the pack. Right at this time the burdens of organizing and scheduling with multiple teachers, longer assignments, and changing classrooms kick in too. It's just a gigantic mess and great burden for Aspies (and a lot of other kids too).

 

Bring him home if you can. I have not used the virtual curriculum for a number of reasons, including my daughter's passion for books and her tendency to work closely and obsessively in a few areas at a time rather than work in small increments on every subject daily. But for kids who thrive under very regular schedules and like to work on the computer I think it would be a good choice. I'm sure lots of other people use that program and will tell you more about it.

 

But the important thing is that ANY curriculum your child uses at home, in freedom and emotional safety, will be better than the best curriculum he struggles with in an environment of turmoil, disorganization, and bullying.

Best wishes to both of you.

[happygrrl]

I just wanted to express my sympathy for what you and your son are going through. My daughter, aged 14, is an Aspie who has never been to public school. Home is a wonderfully safe place for her, but I feel sadness and anger that school cannot be similarly a safe haven for so many kids like your son and my daughter. From around ten to fifteen or sixteen are the hardest ages in that respect -- the years when peer conformity pressure really kicks in, and anyone the least bit different becomes profoundly threatening to other kids and at the same time safe and easy to ridicule and thus prove their own belonging to the pack. Right at this time the burdens of organizing and scheduling with multiple teachers, longer assignments, and changing classrooms kick in too. It's just a gigantic mess and great burden for Aspies (and a lot of other kids too).

 

Bring him home if you can. I have not used the virtual curriculum for a number of reasons, including my daughter's passion for books and her tendency to work closely and obsessively in a few areas at a time rather than work in small increments on every subject daily. But for kids who thrive under very regular schedules and like to work on the computer I think it would be a good choice. I'm sure lots of other people use that program and will tell you more about it.

 

But the important thing is that ANY curriculum your child uses at home, in freedom and emotional safety, will be better than the best curriculum he struggles with in an environment of turmoil, disorganization, and bullying.

Best wishes to both of you.

 

:iagree: Great post, Karen Anne.

 

I am teaching my 13 yr. old Aspie at home. It is often challenging, but it can be done, and done well! Hang in there and do what your gut tells you. I have not used an online academy as my son does best when I am right beside him (that's the challenging part, :D). DO a search here on the boards and read all that you can as there have been some very helpful posts. You can do it! Seeing your child blossom and find his gifts are worth every moment of work that it takes.

[Guest MommyofJaxandLogan]

My son's "things" are the computer and books - and you mentioned your daughter loves to read. Is there a specific curriculum you use for literature? Because of his love of computers, I figured that the online school would be a good fit for him and increase his interest, but I also want to foster his reading ability.

[Misty]

Congrats on recognizing that your son is not thriving and taking action! So many people leave their Aspies in school thinking they will learn from the abuse and confusion.. Not so.

 

Many homeschoolers speak out against the K12 virtual academies so be prepared for opinions to fly (not in this forum.. in others).. They fear that these on-line academies will lead to more strict future homeschooling regulations and will jeopardize what freedoms we have.

 

Many families also quit these academies a few months in due to the rigid nature and strict oversight of the program.

 

You can see what I use for my Aspie daughters in the margin of my blog (link below). My 9- and 7-year-old daughters are diagnosed with Asperger's and my 12-year-old daughter is just "Asperger-ish".

[sbgrace]

My spectrum son is much younger so I don't have suggestions for curriculum. I am a former public school (Jr high/high school) teacher. I'm so glad you're bringing your son home just because of the bullying alone. :grouphug:

Edited April 28, 2010 by sbgrace

[Misty]

My son's "things" are the computer and books - and you mentioned your daughter loves to read. Is there a specific curriculum you use for literature? Because of his love of computers, I figured that the online school would be a good fit for him and increase his interest, but I also want to foster his reading ability.

 

My oldest Aspie daughter is a voracious reader... I do not enforce a reading curriculum with her (or any of my aspies).. I just keep good quality literature in the house and it all gets read.

 

There are plenty of good computer-based programs to choose from.. You do not have to use a virtual academy. If you are looking for a decent, boxed, computer-based curriculum, you might look into Switched on Schoolhouse. There are also individual subjects that are computer-based.. Teaching Textbooks Math, Aleks Math, and various "goodies" throughout the web.. freerice.com, bigbrainz.com, etc.

[Guest]

My son's "things" are the computer and books - and you mentioned your daughter loves to read. Is there a specific curriculum you use for literature? Because of his love of computers, I figured that the online school would be a good fit for him and increase his interest, but I also want to foster his reading ability.

 

Actually, any attempts I make to guide and structure my daughter's reading require SO MUCH effort and struggle on my part that I have for years given her free choice of reading. It has taken me a while to see the patterns and reasoning behind what she chooses: as she grows older it is clear that the typical material used in junior high and high school -- that is, realistic fiction -- is not going to be what keeps her a reader. The nuances of character motivation and the elements of symbolism are very difficult to teach to Aspies. So she has gravitated toward detective fiction (with ultra-logical detectives like Sherlock Holmes), science fiction and fantasy. She also likes comedy, from Jeeves and Wooster to Shakespeare's comedies. Much of this is classic literature, so I just let her at it and don't worry about whether it matches anyone else's list.

 

As for literary analysis, I have taken a more factual, historically-based approach for someone who tends to think concretely. We do discuss characters, but we also discuss the historical context, the biography of the author, what publishing was like at the time, technology in society, etc.

 

One of the great things about homeschooling Aspies is that you can follow their passionate (obsessive) interests. When my daughter became obsessed with Star Trek, our curriculum, if you can call it that, revolved around Star Trek for nearly a year. I rewrote all her math word problems to feature characters from ST, she read The Physics of Star Trek and we read about astrophysics, we played spelling games with Star Trek words, we read about the making of the TV show and read memoirs of the actors and about special effects, we read about the history of computers and rocketry. We also had a built-in social element: discussing the squabbling between McCoy and Spock, and talking about different aliens and how the crew reacted to them. It was actually really, really fun (except that after about five or six months I'd really had enough and she had not!).

[Misty]

Actually, any attempts I make to guide and structure my daughter's reading require SO MUCH effort and struggle on my part that I have for years given her free choice of reading.

 

:iagree:Same here! Obsessive Aspie readers cannot be controlled! I tried that for a while and it did NOT work. :glare:

 

One of the great things about homeschooling Aspies is that you can follow their passionate (obsessive) interests. When my daughter became obsessed with Star Trek, our curriculum, if you can call it that, revolved around Star Trek for nearly a year. I rewrote all her math word problems to feature characters from ST

 

I do the same thing.. Just today, my 9yr old Aspie was doing her grammar work and was supposed to "Write a question about a friend". This was an unimaginable task for her.. Her current obsession is ferrets (and has been for over a year) so I changed the instructions to read "Write a question about your ferret" and she was able to handle that easily.

[Guest]

I do the same thing.. Just today, my 9yr old Aspie was doing her grammar work and was supposed to "Write a question about a friend". This was an unimaginable task for her.. Her current obsession is ferrets (and has been for over a year) so I changed the instructions to read "Write a question about your ferret" and she was able to handle that easily.

 

That's wonderful (and wonderfully funny)! Just the kind of thing I do too.

[Verity]

I pulled my now 11.5 year old Aspie out of public school during the early part of 4th grade. The increased need for student organization was a killer here too and we also had bullying and teasing issues. My son was starting to have new episodes of anxiety as well and I felt that they must be related to the things going on at ps.

 

The first year I completed 4th grade using a computer based curriculum (we used AO SOS) while I was finishing up an education degree at our local university. My mom was home with him all day and I thought (naively) that he would be okay. Once I finished a very intensive internship I was able to turn my full focus to his needs and realized that this kind of curriculum was both overwhelming and confusing for my son. He needed to be able to physically handle the materials and have it presented and assigned in much smaller chunks.

 

This past year I kept home my ADHD/dyslexic 7 year old and am also raising a 4 year old with developmental delays and SPD. I've taken a different route following a more WTM plan. So many of SWB's suggestions really fit for my boys. For example, they both have problems with fine motor skills and the physical act of writing so copywork is great for them.

 

Every child is different so you should feel free to research and try whatever you think will work and don't be afraid to revisit and try something different until you find a good fit.

[Guest MommyofJaxandLogan]

I'm thinking we'll try the k12 for this year, and next year re-evaluate and see if we need to switch. I'm not set on k12 as a "forever" solution, just a place to start. I just know for now that I need to follow my gut instinct and pull him out of the public school setting. I know it won't be easy, and he will try my patience on a daily basis. I also know that I don't want my child to learn that the cliques that begin to form in middle school reflect "real" life after high school. I told Logan last night what we were going to do for next year and he's quite excited about it. My Mom was very supportive after she saw for herself last week what he deals with at school - apparently when she took Logan with her to the mall, he saw a boy he knew from school that he identified as one of his "friends", and when Logan yelled out to him several times the boy just looked over at him and ignored him. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment - as if they didn't exist. I've taught Logan well over his childhood - that we treat everybody as equals, we never call people names, we never identify people by the color of their skin and we never use physical violence to solve problems. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body, and although he can't truly empathize, he knows to "act as if". He knows to help somebody if they are hurt, to befriend people in need and to be giving. I just can't handle that realistically the majority of parents do NOT take the time to teach their children basic moral values. This is not a social situation that I want to be a model for my child. All of that said, I know I'm making the right decision for us. Thank you all for your supportive comments. I feel very secure that I am doing the right thing.

[Dreamdog]

Hi,

 

My 12-yo Aspie is currently enrolled in a public cyber charter--not sure if you were going to go that route or pay for K12 yourself.

 

We like the curriculum, and love the therapies the school pays for (lots of speech and OT). However, while we are able to bypass the negatives of the brick-and-mortar school experience, I feel we miss out on some of the positives of homeschooling, especially for an Aspie--we can't follow my son's interests nearly as much as we used to when we were homeschooling.

 

Also, because it takes my son so long to get through his work (partly just because it is assigned, and not his choice), we don't have time for him to have real life social interactions, which makes his social skills training kind of pointless! :rolleyes:

 

I am 90% sure we will be returning to homeschooling next year, although the thought of losing his wonderful ST has me chewing my nails!

 

HTH

Amanda

[elise1mds]

Mine is younger, too, so I have no advice on where to go, but I think you're doing a wonderful thing for him. The teasing is awful. My DS, even in a private school in kindergarten, had a similar experience. He's much happier at home being able to concentrate on his favorite things and read as much as he wants. He *loves* being away from people. :)

[Guest LilZ_098]

Hi! I began homeschooling my son (Asperger's as well) this year. He finished out 3rd grade in PS (we only just got the diagnosis a year ago). Honestly for us it was the best thing we did. He does so much better in the home setting without all the other distractions from school, can have questions answered when needed (as opposed to waiting and possibly not getting an answer thus leading to a meltdown), and we can focus on things he needs help with. He was also getting bullied as well and kids were deliberately pushing his buttons to see if he would go into meltdown mode. Wasn't very nice. Pulling him out also allowed us to get to therapy appointments during the day without the worry of attendance records for the school. We could go whenever as opposed to those after school hours!

 

On the curriculum side, we started with a traditional approach and then realized that it didn't suit EITHER of us. To finish out the year we are just eclectic with a lot of reading (which he loves), math daily (that's his weak spot but he's done so much better at home!), lapbooking/unit studies. We'll be schooling through summer and I've already planned out the next year with a unit study program. FWIW, I had considered a virtual program for my kiddo as well. But any type of unit lesson I tried on the computer (mind you these were maybe 15 minutes max) he did not enjoy at all - which I found odd because he'll use the computer for other things. If there is a way you can try it out first before finalizing I would do that. We never know what their learning styles/preferences are until we dive in! Good luck to you and do listen to your gut!!

[Greta Lea]

My Aspie is 16yo and we've always homeschooled. He loves to read also.

 

Teaching Textooks is computer based math program that we've used.

 

I'm planning to use an online grammar program with my younger son this fall. It's called Grammar Key. It looks VERY similar to a hands-on program I used successfully with my older son called Winston Grammar.

 

If he enjoys reading, then he might enjoy Story of the World. Both of my boys have loved this series. My younger son has enjoyed Christian Liberty Press Nature Readers and Apologia Elem. science (we've only done the Astronomy book so far).

 

I let my boys pretty much choose, within reason, what they'd like to read for literature reading.

 

[Mom22ns]

I pulled my ASD child from public school after 5th grade. The bullying and him getting in trouble was just as you described. Academically, he was still doing well, but nothing near his potential.

 

I looked into a cybercharter first. I found that it was not flexible enough to be a good fit. They would have followed his IEP, but it is so much easier for me to make assignments that fit (the ferret sentence is a perfect example) or deadlines that are reasonable, etc.

 

My ds has thrived in the two years since we have brought him home. This year we had two gatherings with extended family and both times we were told repeatedly by people who hadn't seen him in a while how amazing his social skills are and what a remarkable improvement. Academically he is at grade level in his weak subjects and way above in his strengths.

 

You will not regret pulling your child from ps. I do suggest reading Cathy Duffy's book http://www.amazon.com/100-Top-Picks-Homeschool-Curriculum/dp/0805431381/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272891817&sr=8-1 Try to get a feel for how you want to teach and how your child will learn best. Play to his strengths and pick curriculum that will use those strengths to help him learn in all areas.

 

Best of luck and feel free to ask when you need help or suggestions.

[AngieW in Texas]

My Aspie does very well with structure, but needs to be able to impose some of that structure herself rather than having it all imposed upon her.

 

Sonlight worked very well for her all the way up to high school. I didn't like the way SL's high school Cores looked, so I have switched her over to Oak Meadow for high school. She has enjoyed the courses she's done so far with OM. They have weekly schedules rather than daily, so she is able to have a lot of flexibility in planning out her week.

 

When we did SL, there was a daily schedule. She still had the ability to control part of her schedule though, because she could work through her schedule in any order.

 

She has never done an online class. I am thinking about putting her in a co-op class next year just so she has a classroom experience before taking dual credit classes at the community college. She'll be eligible to start dual credit in just one more year.