At what age do kids bathe, brush teeth, etc. independently?

[waxwing]

Hi all,

 

As a mother of an only child who was an only child herself, I'm at a bit of a loss. Our daughter J. is 6 3/4, and we still brush her teeth, wash her hair, and brush her hair for her. (She has straight, chin-length hair.) At this age, do most kids do these self-care tasks themselves? I remember that my parents still washed my hair until I was about ten, but that seems awfully old! Thanks for any insight.

 

-Anne

[Mrs Mungo]

My kids pretty much managed their own hygine by the age of 7. I'd help out with the flossing or washing if I found the job they did to be lacking.

[Sue G in PA]

Some kids like to be more independent and that's great. Some just like the "attention". Honestly, I LOVED brushing my dd11's hair and I still do when she permits me! I think w/ boys and moms it might be different, too. I still wash my ds5 and ds6's hair and help them bath and dh helps them brush their teeth. They don't do a good enough job if we don't at least "supervise". My ds8 and ds9 are both independent and very modest. No mom allowed in bathroom during shower/bath time! As for teeth, we still inspect occasionally just to make sure they are doing a good job. Too many dental issues around here! I really enjoy bath time w/ my kids. Sometimes it is the only one-on-one time we get (or 1 on 2 if 2 kids are bathing at once!). Oh, and for ds5 and dd2...we have those foam letters/numbers and I use bath time as additional phonics/letter/number practice!

[abbeyej]

I still wash my six-year-old's hair, but I don't brush her teeth. (Our dentist's rule for self-brushing was that the child could tie his/her own shoes. Of course, come to think of it, I know eleven-year-olds who've never been taught to tie their shoes, lol, and I'm pretty sure their parents don't brush their teeth for them still. ;)) I do help her floss (and that gives me a chance to see if the brushing was inadequate).

 

I only brush dd's hair for her if we're going somewhere where I would prefer she not look like an orphan. When she does it entirely herself, there's a 30% chance of "orphan". ;)

 

I still wash her hair, though my 8yo does his own.

[Crissy]

I think 7 is a great age to start them on their way, but I still helped my guys when they needed it. My 9 year old, for example, still has a few teeth that his brushing technique misses on a regular basis.

I check often, brush those teeth that are fuzzy, and give some instruction. I know he'll get it before he's off to college, so I don't worry much about it.:D

[LG Gone Wild]

My dd5 just needs me to get bath water for her. She can do everything by herself EXCEPT wiping after moving her bowels. I spot check them from time to time.

 

In fact my ds8 bathes my 2yo. I am pushing self-reliance and sibling care off on to them early. Otherwise, we would never get school started if I had to bathe and clean and groom and dress everybody!!!

[Whisperlily]

It depends on the child, and your level of expectations.

 

My oldest DD *could* brush her hair independently at age 5/6. She could brush her teeth independently at around 4-5 years, but I helped at least once a week or so to make sure she was getting a good thorough job at least that often.

 

Now... Was her hair perfect? No. If we were going somewhere, I would help her get it just right. Sometimes it depends on the hair, too. You mentioned straight, chin-length hair. It might be easier for a child to manage that hair vs. curly waist length hair.

 

I'd guess that washing is something she might need help with too... When my DD was about that age, I would always tell her to make sure she got the shampoo on all her hair, *specifically reminding her about the hair around her ears* otherwise I'd have only the top of the head washed and the underside would still be dirty. Rinsing, as someone else mentioned is important too. Double check to make sure she got all the soap out. We had many occasions where I didn't check, and had to send her back to the shower to get the (visible) soap out.

 

My DD is now 10.5 and within the last month or two can fully manage the whole washing/drying/combing... and the big one... styling her hair neatly. She has curly/wavy hair and it's a little tougher to manage. ;)

[Nestof3]

I can tell you how I handle it, but really, I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about these things. :001_smile:

 

BATHS

My boys are late 6 and late 8. My 8 year old told me on his own about a year ago that he was old enough to wash himself. My 6 yo son still wants me to wash him. He is a perfectionist and cannot stand feeling like he isn't doing a good enough job.

 

HAIR

We keep our boys' hair cut short -- I use clippers on Nathan (8) and Ben has his hair cut short at the barber, so there's nothing really to brush. :D

 

TEETH

Now, this is where I am very conscientous. My boys have been brushing their teeth in the morning since 6 years old, but I still brush their teeth at night. They have little flossers which they use on their own. I take oral care very seriously, and do not even think an 8 year old can do an adequate job (of course, speaking only from experience I've had with two 8 year olds already). I do want them to learn how to brush, and I want them to take part in it, which is why I have them brush in the morning. But, I am on a mission in hopes of keeping my boys from getting cavities in their permanent teeth. Ben did have two tiny ones between two of his baby teeth (he has no perm, teeth yet) -- this was before we began flossing.