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How do you get a second opinion without offending everyone


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On Friday we went to OT and was happy with the progress my DS has made. Swelling was down and 5 degrees more movement in one joint. Immediately following the appt we went to his doctor and he seemed to just give up on the hand all together. He walked in before he had even looked at my DS and told us he had not scheduled the tendon surgery because the bones were probably fused and there was no point. He had not seen DS since he started OT, has not had an Xray done, and had not examined him at that point. He then proceeds to look at DS's finger and say yeap that is a tight joint. I feel he made up his mind before he walked in and wasn't giving it a chance to heal. I was very unhappy and told him so. He reluctantly agreed to see him in 6 weeks to reassess the finger. I understand that the tendon surgery is not going to help if the bone is fused, however he has been in some type of cast, splint or pin for 3 months. Of course the joint is tight! He has only been in OT for less than 2 weeks.

 

I think it is way to early to give up on it. Am I just being a mom who doesn't want to accept this news or should I get a second opinion?

 

If so how do I get a second opinion without offending everyone involved?

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You just have to do it and not worry about it. I have been through this before with my daughter who is now on her third orthopedist that we drive out of state 6 hours to see. The first doc made me so mad that I just found a new specialist and made the appointment. I didn't even tell him. His office called a few months later to schedule an appointment and I just told them I found someone else. Just tell yourself that your child is way more important than someone else's ego. Follow your parent instinct and it won't lead you astray.

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Just do it. I left our pediatric cardiologist because he routinely didn't know what was going on with my son (can you NOT read a chart to refresh your memory?) and one time told us to come back in two weeks for a check then, when we got there, the first thing he asked me was, Why are you here? Um, because you told us to come back and see you? He lost ds's chart one time. Ugh. Anyway, we got another pediatric cardiologist that we drive further to see, but we love him! I'd get a second opinion, if I were in your situation. :001_smile:

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I don't really care if I offend a doctor. The doctor has been hired by ME to provide a service for ME. I don't owe him anything other than the same level of politeness he offers me. If I think the standard of care he provides isn't high enough, I will walk away and not think twice. If I think his assessment is questionable, I get a second opinion and don't think twice. You don't owe the doctor anything.

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My rule: if a doctor feels offended because I seek a second (third, fourth, fifth, etc.) opinion, that is not a doctor worth having. Only one of my doctors has been offended because I sought a second opinion. I didn't go back to that person. It's your health!

 

I take it your son has a hand injury? Are you seeing a hand specialist (orthopedic hand doctor)? If not, that's where I would start.

 

Edited by MBM
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A fellow Cincy girl here..... Are you seeing a Dr. at Children's? If not, I would definitely head there. If you are, I would head up to Dayton Children's.

 

Leanna

 

We are at Children's. I called today to see about someone else and they are sending me to the hand specialist. Imagine that. All along he has been seeing a plastic surgeon who specializes in facial reconstruction!:confused: I know I am to blame for part of this but it never occurred to me that he wasn't a hand specialist. I should have asked more questions but I did what they told me. I am never like that! I always ask questions and them make my own decisions. Something as simple as this has thrown me for a huge loop.

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We are at Children's. I called today to see about someone else and they are sending me to the hand specialist. Imagine that. All along he has been seeing a plastic surgeon who specializes in facial reconstruction!:confused: I know I am to blame for part of this but it never occurred to me that he wasn't a hand specialist. I should have asked more questions but I did what they told me. I am never like that! I always ask questions and them make my own decisions. Something as simple as this has thrown me for a huge loop.

 

I didn't even know hand specialists existed until my brother injured his several years ago.

 

I would think that the hospital should have suggested your son see the hand doctor sooner. It's good he'll be seeing one now. I hope all goes well for him.

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I don't really care if I offend a doctor. The doctor has been hired by ME to provide a service for ME. I don't owe him anything other than the same level of politeness he offers me. If I think the standard of care he provides isn't high enough, I will walk away and not think twice. If I think his assessment is questionable, I get a second opinion and don't think twice. You don't owe the doctor anything.

This is very often forgotten. :iagree:

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