How to motivate DS to focus on HS

[kellycbr]

We're in our 2nd week of homeschooling DS(7) and it often feels like we're getting no-where fast. My idea was that we would start at 8am and be done by noon. We're early risers, so you would think 2 hours to get ready wouldn't be a problem. DS dawdles, has to finish something, stalls some more, and I'm going bonkers just trying to get started. He really wants to hs, but tells me its so he can study what he wants, and because he thinks its easier. Hmmmm......

 

I have OPG, FLL, MUS, SOTW1 (loves, loves, loves!), Reading Pathways, and HWT. Our son is a visual, kinesthetic learner - absolutely not auditory, and full of energy. We start our day with OPG and Reading Pathways, MUS, then SOTW. FLL has been dreaded by him, and I just don't think he "hears" it since he isn't interested. His handwriting is a mess, so I was hoping to correct it with HWT. So far its been painful to implement since he has no interest. Basically, he isn't stepping up, and his mother wonders why she is bothering with hs. I try and do our reading and math, and if we get to it, everything else. On a bright note, even though it doesn't feel like progress is happening, I do see improvement in his reading fluency, and in our relationship. I fear he's going to fall behind unless I start threatening (which I have already threatened to send him back to school unless he does his best.). Taking time off to deschool doesn't jive with DH and myself. His school was really good, just not the right fit for DS. Goodnight, what am I going to do?:confused:

[Sue G in PA]

What I mean, is a lot of people who pull their dc from ps will take a month or maybe longer to just let the child "unwind" from ps. This is all new to both of you. Perhaps, start your day with something he really likes...SOTW. He'll be quicker to come to the table (or wherever you do school) if it is something he likes. You say he is NOT an auditory learner...could be why FLL doesn't work. It is an auditory curriculum...all oral (except for the copywork). I'd drop it for now. Grammar doesn't need to be studied until 3rd grade, IMHO..others may disagree strongly, but in my experience, the child will do just fine in 3rd gr. grammar even w/out formal instruc. in 1st or 2nd grade. OPG is auditory as well. All oral. Perhaps he'd do better with a more visual or written phonics program (is Reading Pathways that kind of program?).

 

What does your ds *like* to do (that is educational)? You know, even if you just get in math, reading and a little handwriting/copywork from now until June, he'll be just fine next year. Oh, and SOTW since he does enjoy that! Just my humble .02 and I'm not an expert by any means. I've just gleamed a bunch from the wisdom of this board. Hope you get some more responses!

[ArwenA]

What I mean, is a lot of people who pull their dc from ps will take a month or maybe longer to just let the child "unwind" from ps. This is all new to both of you. Perhaps, start your day with something he really likes...SOTW. He'll be quicker to come to the table (or wherever you do school) if it is something he likes. You say he is NOT an auditory learner...could be why FLL doesn't work. It is an auditory curriculum...all oral (except for the copywork). I'd drop it for now. Grammar doesn't need to be studied until 3rd grade, IMHO..others may disagree strongly, but in my experience, the child will do just fine in 3rd gr. grammar even w/out formal instruc. in 1st or 2nd grade. OPG is auditory as well. All oral. Perhaps he'd do better with a more visual or written phonics program (is Reading Pathways that kind of program?).

 

What does your ds *like* to do (that is educational)? You know, even if you just get in math, reading and a little handwriting/copywork from now until June, he'll be just fine next year. Oh, and SOTW since he does enjoy that! Just my humble .02 and I'm not an expert by any means. I've just gleamed a bunch from the wisdom of this board. Hope you get some more responses!

 

Just what I was thinking.:)

[kellycbr]

Any ideas on how to get your child to just try? We really want to see him try a little harder. It seems to me homeschooling is a gift, a real opportunity, and that doesn't seem to matter to our DS. Perhaps its just developmental.

[Rosie_0801]

The need to deschool is real. That's why when we quit one job we often take a week or two between finishing up, and starting the next one. We need time to rest so we have time for a brain shift from "oh, no not that" to "cool, new challenge." The whole 'uncarved block' idea if you've read about that. I'd tell him you're going to take a week of holiday, and let him do whatever he wants (within reason) then get to it.

If starting off with a subject he likes isn't enough, schedule housework first, then he'll be itching to get through it and start school! Are you making the classes too long? His concentration span is only as long as it is. Remember when he was a baby and trying to do this or that? You'd watch and see if he'd solve his problem, watch the frustration rise and when it got to a certain point, you'd give him the toy or whatever he couldn't get. Do the same now. Watch, and when he gets to that level of frustration put the book aside and either do another subject or if he's in need of a wriggle break, suggest morning tea or a stroll around the backyard. Plant something so there's something to see if you have to! You said he doesn't like to listen to read-alouds. Perhaps he may take it in more if he has figures to act out the story while you're reading? Waldorf style storytelling favours telling the story from memory with props. Since he's an energetic kid, he'll probably enjoy being able to keep his hands busy. Things might get a bit noisy if you are talking about wars though, all war stories are improved by lots of shouting as you plough through the enemy!

:)

Rosie

[Sue G in PA]

and it can take quite some time to get that back. By being relaxed and non-confrontational re: schoolwork, I think your ds will "come around". Give him some time. Do SOTW. He likes that. Use sentences from SOTW for copywork...short sentences. How is his reading? Can he read some of SOTW by himself? Perhaps you read a paragraph, he reads a paragraph? Read lots of books together in lieu of OPG. My ds6 hated OPG but loves to read from "real" books. I realized I was "killing" his love for reading by forcing him to do OPG. Does he like MUS? Keep it up...short lessons (ala Charlotte Mason). HSing IS a gift...but I doubt many 7yos realize this. I have an 11yo who doesn't realize this yet!:glare: You both need some time to deprogram yourselves from that ps mindset. I'm still struggling w/ this. Relax...your ds will be just fine. Does he like nature? Maybe do some nature study now that spring is here and you can be outdoors more! My dc love this and they learn a lot just from exploring our backyard. Hang in there!

[Peela]

Kids try when they feel interested, engaged, or in some way something is in it for them. Some kids like to please their parents or teachers. Others are not motivated by that. Some really like or want to learn something. But I dont think you can "make" a 7 year old love to do 4 hours of schoolwork, and that is totally natural.

There has to be a balance between your relationship with your son, having fun, and the responsiblity of doing some school work. I couldnt "make" my son do that much work at that age without breaking his spirit, at that time. He needed to heal...and he did.

I took my son out of school at age 7. He took ages to deschool and still doesnt actually enjoy his schoolwork, 5 years later, largely due to his time at school. I tried to do what you are doing and it was a big disaster and I knew homeschooling wouldn't last if I continued. We broke it up....a bit of maths....a game...some reading....10 minutes of this and then a break....with the promise that I would take him for a game of soccer in the local park once he had done some work. Some times the bribe was walking to the shops for a chocolate.

One might feel that a child should naturally be motivated, but i think you are better off dealing with the child as he is, and finding what works to motivate him in particular, than hoping he becomes a scholar and feeling disappointed in him, which he will feel and respond to.

I find many of us mums expect way too much, too soon, with our kids. If you actually hear SWB speak, she is very compassionate, particulary to boys, which he has 3 of. So even though TWTM is a wonderful ideal, pushing too hard can be very counter productive.

My son is now 12 and only does between 4 and 5 hours work now. He spends the rest of his time skateboarding, riding his bike- the things that float his boat.