Are your friends right around your age? What about stage of life?

[lisabees]

Hmmm...interesting question. Many of my friends come from my old neighborhood and my new neighborhood. And some are the ladies from all of my kids' sports teams, since we travel a lot together and form bonds. Most are in their forties, like me.

 

My closest friends are family - my two brothers, my cousin and my Mom.

 

Because I am involved in some non-profit groups, I also have friends of all ages and stages. A good friend is a 68 year old male that volunteers with me at the soup kitchen. He loves to take the kids out fishing and on his boat!

 

Oh - and to clarify. These are true friends. We talk on the phone, go out to breakfast, hang out as families, celebrate birthdays etc.

 

Since this is my first year hs, I am finding it to be quite isolating. The more I am in my house teaching, the more I want to just stay in my house and do nothing. Some of my friends are worried that I am not that social and outgoing person I used to be. It worries me too. I feel like I'm in a bubble sometimes.

[HollyDay]

I'm finding myself pretty much a loner these days. A few years ago, I had several friends I'd met through my dc's activities. These were very nice ladies whose children were the same age/stage as my children. But, they were not may age. They were all 10 - 12 years younger than me.

 

That was not a problem until I started perimenopause. My shift into that season of life was physically difficult. My cycles became very heavy and erratic. What does that have to do with friendship? A lot I found out. THese ladies were trying to get pregnant. Many had toddlers at home they were potty training. I was dealing with migraines, heavy cramps, bifocals, anemia, and all the other things that come with this type of aging. Suddenly, I was the "old lady" of the group - yes, someone actually said this. Another remarked that I was starting to look like her mother (not a compliment I thought).

 

Our ages were never the same. But, suddenly our stages were not the same either. I tried to be the Titus 2 woman, and "be there" for them. Answer questions - they preferred their peers or their mothers, or offer general support. But, they had no interest in offering me support. To be fair, they are still 10+ years away from dealing with the transition, I suppose they felt they had very little to say.

 

Now, the ladies I know who are my age, are mostly empty nesters. They want to "do lunch" and go shopping. That is fine, but I am not of the stage. I am very happy with my stage. They are done with that and don't want to make adaptions for it.