LONG Introduction & looking for ideas.

[SproutMamaK]

Hi all,

 

I'm new here, and new to the whole realm of homeschooling. My name is Kathryn, and I have 3 kids. Gabriel is 5 and currently in full day SK 3 days a week (MWF) at a private Christian school. Levi is 4 and currently in JK at the same school (on Tuesdays & Thursdays). Judah is about to turn 2 and is at home with me, much to his chagrin - he'd far prefer to go do something "fun" with his brothers every day. Gabriel and Levi both have autism (Judah, the toddler, shows no signs). Gabriel is moderate to severe, though he has improved greatly since that diagnosis was made, while Levi is barely on the spectrum. Both have received extensive ABA therapy for years and are doing very well. They're currently in a mainstream classroom at their school and are working at well above their grade levels. They LOVE to socialize with other children, but are of course very awkward while doing so, and I've seen a lot of things that lead me to believe bullying is pretty much inevitable for them.

 

I can honestly say that I NEVER thought I would find myself homeschooling. Ever. Not that I have a problem with it, but I could never picture myself in that role. Which of course means that I have no idea what I'm doing.

 

We've been trying to wade through the boy's schedules for next year, and it's simply not feasible if they go to school. Not only is it not feasible, it's not even possible. Once Gabriel goes into Grade one, he'll be in school five days a week - we'll be rushing out the door to drop him off at school on time. We'll leave by 8, have a rush-hour, tense drive to school, and then say goodbye to him (and 3 days a week, my middle son as well) until 3:15 when we pick him up. I'd have half an hour with him the car when he's so tired he barely responds, then get home and have him in ABA/IBI therapy for a three hour session. Which means we'd have family dinner at 7 instead of our usual 5:30, and bedtime is 7:30. So we have half an hour to eat, talk about their day, do devotions, do any homework they have, help tutor them through things they didn't understand in school, etc. The behavioural therapy we have in the afternoons has been such a blessing for them and obviously works wonders for them, so I don't feel comfortable putting that aside when they're still so young.

 

Which leads to the obvious conclusion that God wants me to spend more than 30 minutes a day with my children. Since there seems to be no other way to make that possible... homeschooling it is. We'll do school from 9 until lunch time, and possibly a bit after lunch, and then have ABA in the afternoons.

 

And now that I've accepted it, I THINK I'm starting to get excited about the idea. More time with my kids, more control over their education, lesson plans tailored to their learning styles and abilities, the chance to organize their social interactions and work with them on them social skills, really having the time to systemically teach them bible stories and doctrine, etc. Not to mention that the $1000/month we would otherwise be paying for private school could be channeled into ABA therapy, for which our funding is about to cut off (the boys are "aging out" of our provincially funded system). Everything about it is ideal. It's just... a lot of work. And it's extremely overwhelming, since I've spent my whole life looking at homeschooling Moms and saying, "I could NEVER do that. How do they stay sane?!"

 

Right now, our largest concern with homeschooling (aside from my sanity, that is) is the fact that they truly do enjoy the social interaction they get at school, and they've learned a LOT from it. In order for them to ebtter their social skills, the boys need to practice them, and the more the better. Our local homeschool group doesn't really have anything applicable to meet those needs. They have sports classes, etc, but nothing that would imitate a classroom environment for one or two mornings a week. A number of families in our church homeschool, and I'm considering asking them if they would participate in such an activity if I were to organize and lead it. It would likely include things like circle time, show & tell, calendar, centers, snacktime & recess, storytime, crafts, etc. However, I hate to ask other already-busy Moms to "lend" me their young children as a favour. Has anyone done anything like this, and do you have any suggestions?

 

Curriculum is another overwhelming area - WOW, is there ever a lot to wade through! I was hoping to get some suggestions to help me narrow down what might work for them, using your experiences - to see if any of their personality and learning traits sound familiar to any of you, and what curriculum worked for children who have similar personalities & learning styles.

 

Gabriel is a strong reader (he's at about a 2nd to 3rd grade reading level right now and he's 5), Levi (4) is reading but needs direction. He recognizes a LOT of words, but that's largely because of rote memorization, not phonetic understanding. If there's a new word, he'll just sub in the word he knows that "looks" the most similar to it, rather than bothering to sound it out. As far as math, they're both extremely logical but, like most kids with autism, need a concept to be repeated to them a LOT for it to sink in. Once it does sink in, though - it sticks for good. Neither one is very good at rote memorization of facts and information (aside from literacy), which I worry may present a problem for subjects like history and geography. As far as Bible stories, both boys tend to stop following the plot of them about halfway through. We've tried breaking the stories up into 2 or 3 smaller stories, but then the story doesn't resolve itself by the end and the boys are left uninterested and wondering what the point was. Neither one of them are creative, in ANY way, but they do love the pride that comes from having made something tangible, even if it's not original. Gabriel loves deskwork and figuring things out on paper. Levi also loves it when he does it for a while, but loses interest after a few minutes and wants to get up and do something more hands-on.

 

Phew, that was a LONG post. After all that - does anyone have any advice or suggestions for me? Thank you!

[RamonaQ]

Hello!

 

Much of your introduction resonates with me, as I also was the accidental homeschooler! I had literally said 2 months before we started homeschooling that "I could never do THAT!" And then a number of issues with the school came up and we withdrew our then 6yo son at the Christmas break and we had no plan of what to do next! So we simply began homeschooling. And, now 4 years later, I can say it was the best decision for EVERYONE. Of course, I am not sure I would have said that right after as I spent a couple of months crying on the shoulders of friends with the grief of changing to something new, different and non-traditional (I was hearing a lot of negative comments about homeschooling). I am not homeschooling any autism kids, our special needs is dyslexia, so I can not comment directly on autism issues but let me see if I can answer some other things.

 

So, needless to say, switching to homeschooling is a big transition. The first year to me felt like having a new baby. Everything was new and unpredictable, hard and out-of-control but also surprising and wonderful past my expectations. I would suggest support, which you are already reaching out for. It also helps to have friends in real life who homeschool or a homeschool group you are connected with. Likewise, I also had a mother's helper come one afternoon a week, just to help ease that transition of having a break each day from kids to not having any.

 

I think you are wise to contemplate what it is about school that you found beneficial-- social interactions-- and try to figure out a way to build that into your homeschool day. I think offering to host a morning group is an awesome idea and you may be surprised that others are looking for something like that. Plus, other moms might even view it as an opportunity to get a break themselves, or they also are looking for more social interactions for their kids.

 

In our large homeschooling community, activities are suggested by a member and other members then join up. I don't think I have ever seen an activity suggestion "fail". There always is interest in group activities. In fact, now that I type this, I am remembering that there is a "sharing group" that a mom of a 5 yo put together where the kids do a circle time and do a show-and-tell. I also know there is a group that gets together weekly to go for a simple nature walk in the park.

 

Likewise, have you looked into any local homeschool groups? Many have park days, where the group regularly gets together. We have made some really good friends there. Other new homeschoolers I know, met up at park day and set up an additional weekly playdate. Park days or other types of in real life gatherings may be a place where you can start gauging interest to your group gathering idea. Likewise, it may not be a bad idea to join a homeschool class. I know it may not meet all your needs for social interactions, but you will get to know other homeschoolers that you can make longer social connections with over time. We have met new homeschoolers at homeschool swimming class, for example.

 

I discovered from homeschooling that I really liked the ability to facilitate social interactions for my kids when they were younger because I was always nearby to assist with any interactions that went awry. So homeschooling, I always felt was an extra good way to help my kids learn social skills-- there was always an adult to mentor a social situation, as opposed to my kids sorting it out on the playground (which from my experience had included mean teasing, bullying and some sort of physical aggression).

 

Furthermore, I would not discount the social interactions that will continue to be reinforced through out the day as you go about business with the kids-- library time, grocery shopping, errand running, etc. I found/ find these are all times for my kids to practice good behavior. In fact, this weekend our optician commented what a kind, respectful and mature kid my son is, and I hear that a lot. Trust me, at 6/7 yo I don't think I would have ever heard that but I really attribute his growth and maturity to the years of "practice" throughout our homeschooling.

 

As far as curriculum, have your read "The Well-Trained Mind"? I think there are many good suggestions and starting points there. I am hopeful other folks with autism/ spectrum kids will point you in a good direction. In the meantime, I would search around in this forum and look for autism/ spectrul threads. You can often see in peoples "signature" (the last lines of the post) mention of the curriculum they chose, many are abbreviated so you might have to learn those abbreviations (and I am so new here, I think there might be a "sticky" note at the top of some forum that translates abbreviations????) But those can give you ideas. Likewise, you can always ask again here for input on specific curriculum choices.

 

Best of luck on the exciting journey of homeschooling. You can do it!

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Sonshine]

My homeschool group has a co-op that meets once a week for 12 weeks each semester. We have two classes, lunch, then 2 more classes. The focus is on extra classes or if academic, enrichment type academic without much homework. It's somewhat unique in that the focus isn't on academics, but then for that reason, kids start dropping out in 6th grade. We've been meeting for approximately 7 years and have around 13 familes.

 

One of the two co-founders has 9 kids, with the oldest a child with special needs - Down's Syndrome. We also have had two children with autism in the group for several years. None of us think of it as doing the families with special needs kids a favor - we like what our families get out of the group and those kids are just three of the many loveable children in the co-op. I do like that my children are getting an opportunity to be comfortable in natural way with people that they may see as different if it weren't for our group.

 

Our classes have included various music and art classes, manners, speech for different levels and ages, geography and other learning games classes, PE, cake decorating, study hall for older kids, preschool type classes, drama, a class which focuses on a different state each week with hands on learning activities, etc.

 

I would advise you to consider getting involved with one or more homeschooling groups the first year and then venture into organizing something like this after that. You will have a better feel for the homeschool community. In the meantime, there are many many social opportunities for homeschoolers, some in different classroom type situations. Our group has once a month classes at the science museum.

 

You sound like someone who has a lot to contribute to the homeschooling community. Welcome!

[chiguirre]

Welcome to hsing!

 

I've been hsing my 9yo HFA son for 4 years. It does have its challenges, but it's by far the best placement we could find for him. When we started, my goal was to have him in outside activities for at least 8 hours a week. I achieved that by using a hs coop program, catechism, Kindermusik, park days, museum based hs classes and sports. Now, he's in outside activities about 10 hours a week and has developed some good friendships with other ASD kids in a social skills class and special olympics. He's also better at getting along in a class and he's less upset if NT kids ignore him because he does have friends.

 

As far as curriculum, the best place to start is to see what they're using now and what its strengths and weaknesses are for your kids. That will give you a good base to look at hs curricula and know if it will work for you or not. It's a trial and error process and ASD kids are harder to match to curricula than NT kids. Just keep plugging along and eventually you will see progress.

 

Good luck!

[Mom22ns]

I'm sorry I didn't see you message sooner. I too am an accidental homeschooler with a son on the autistic spectrum. My favorite book recommendation for new homeschoolers is #2 on Shari's list :001_smile: http://www.amazon.com/100-Top-Picks-Homeschool-Curriculum/dp/0805431381/ref=cm_lmf_tit_2 I found it at my local library and it really helped!

 

I agree with the advice to relax. You can do this. The socialization thing is a bigger issue when you have a child that has socialization issues. However, I think you will be surprised how easily this ends up working itself out. My son is older than yours and ended up participating in band, orchestra and a special needs swim team (seasonal). Of course there is also Sunday school and we make an effort to have a friend over to our house weekly (we live out in the country so there aren't neighbors). I don't know how large or small of a town you live in, but where I am, near a large town/small city there are at least 10 different homeschool coops to choose from. It takes a little time to find them all and figure out what might fit your family. You might see if there is a yahoo group for homeschoolers in your area. Join and see what they are doing. Are there park days? Open gym times? Roller skating? bowling? The list of homeschool activities here is never ending.

 

I hope you have a great time with your new adventure and don't hesitate to ask if I can help.

[SproutMamaK]

Thanks for the suggestions! I'm going to try to get at least 3 activities with other kids a week, and some social skills (peer-involved) ABA therapy once or twice as well. I'm starting to worry a little less about the social aspect. I'm not sure how much he's really "getting" in school anyways - there's so many other kids that he doesn't get active encouragement to socialize there anyway. The teacher and EA only really worry about him when they need to deal with problematic behaviour, they don't have the time to encourage positive interactions, just correct negative ones.

[Mom22ns]

I'm not sure how much he's really "getting" in school anyways - there's so many other kids that he doesn't get active encouragement to socialize there anyway. The teacher and EA only really worry about him when they need to deal with problematic behaviour, they don't have the time to encourage positive interactions, just correct negative ones.

 

Our experience was that I thought ps was "the" place to get socialization. Ds made huge gains while he was there - at first. But there came a point as he got older that the interactions became more and more negative. We have fewer socialization opportunities now, but they are all positive. People are shocked at the improvement in ds's social skills since he started homeschooling. When we run into someone that hasn't seen him in a couple of years they can hardly believe the change. The right social interactions are much more important than just lots of social interactions.

[SproutMamaK]

Can you give me some ideas as to what the "right" social interactions have been for him? Obviously they'll be different for each child, but it might give me some good ideas.

[Mom22ns]

For us it was small groups and one on one interactions so things stayed more under control and he had more opportunity to join in successfully. It was also making sure he was with kids that accepted him for who he is. Once he hit middle school years, kids got mean! Getting him out of situations where there were mean kids and into situations where it was ok to be different.

 

We have found homeschoolers to be much more accepting. I think homeschool families tend to be non-conformist. They accept differences. Maybe not universally, but we have had great experiences in the homeschool community. Our church has also provided mostly good social experiences. Public schools were the only place we really ever had BAD social experiences, although anything based heavily in competition is bad for my ds too.

[Verity]

Our experience was that I thought ps was "the" place to get socialization. Ds made huge gains while he was there - at first. But there came a point as he got older that the interactions became more and more negative. We have fewer socialization opportunities now, but they are all positive. People are shocked at the improvement in ds's social skills since he started homeschooling. When we run into someone that hasn't seen him in a couple of years they can hardly believe the change. The right social interactions are much more important than just lots of social interactions.

 

:iagree: I so agree with this! My son is unofficially on the autism/asperger's scale. Public school seemed like a good idea until somewhere in the 3rd grade when the teasing began in earnest. When I pulled him out two months into 4th grade I felt like he was drowning and I had to make a sudden and drastic decision. His attitude and social skills have made dramatic leaps in improvement since coming home. I'm confident that the stress and anxiety of dealing with the teasing at school was impacting him socially, emotionally and even academically. Because of social anxiety we dont' do alot outside of the home but I did get him into a social skills class last fall that he really loved and we've started going back to church regularly. Everyone we meet comments on his excellent manners and his kindness. I think that one day his peers may catch up to him. ;)

 

Welcome to the board - so sorry I missed your post until today. I will continue reading ahead to see what everyone else responded!

[SproutMamaK]

If you could have - do you think it would have been beneficial to have started homeschooling your kids in Grade one as opposed to grade 2/3/4? Or was that time in the early years at school invaluable for their social needs?

[Mom22ns]

For us, I am glad we did ps for pre-k through 4th grade. The kids, teachers, therapists, and staff were all great. It was an excellent environment that I couldn't have reproduced. My son was moderately affected and took a LOT of time and concerted effort. I couldn't have done this 24 hours a day. Having the ps do it 7 hours, then I could take the other 17 (and thankfully there were 8 hours of sleep most nights after age 3).

 

I think the most important thing for us was recognizing what was best and being willing to make those changes. We were slower than we should have been to start homeschooling. My only experiences with homeschooling/homeschoolers were negative. The kids were all behind ps peers both socially and academically. It took some research to learn it didn't have to be like that.

 

I don't think all spectrum kids need school or classroom environments. For some, it is probably never helpful. Some schools are better than others and every child is different. I don't advocate putting spectrum kids in ps. I don't regret doing it either though and would do it again given the same circumstances.