What do you do when....

[ChristusG]

Your 5 year old focuses on her sibling while doing school work? For example, we will sit down to do school and DD2 will be playing in the same room. Well, DD5 is more worried about if DD2 is messing with "her" toys. She's constantly looking over there and saying "DD2 do not mess with my toys!" And if DD2 is messing with her toys, she flies out of her seat to go stop her. So the result is that it is hard to have DD5 focusing totally on her school work. I'll say "what sounds do B-A-T make?" She'll have her eyes fixed on DD2 and will just say "I don't know"......but she really does know, she's just not focused.

 

The simple solution would be having DD5 put her toys away while doing school....but they usually have all their toys "set up" and do not want to move them so that when DD5 is finished doing school, they can go back to playing. I feel bad to boot DD2 out of the room....that doesn't seem fair, she's only two. And it also does not seem fair to have DD2 stop playing with the toys while DD5 does school. She doesn't have anything else to do. So I don't know what the solution should be.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Can you go to a separate room for school time? All three of you, move to the kitchen or your bedroom, or some other place separate from the play area. Give 2yo some special toy (in the same room) that only comes out during school time (playdoh, or markers, or water in the sink, or something else special that will keep her busy for awhile).

 

Then, after school time (or during breaks) they can go back to their playthings.

 

Another option would be to do the bulk of seat work during 2yo's naptime.

[Sophia]

If the toys are breakable or require set-up that the 2 y.o. will ruin, I would put them away.

Otherwise I would begin teaching my older child to share and let the 2 y.o. play with the toy because she's going to lose interest in it quickly anyway.

 

Sharing between my dc is a big issue for me; I'd probably stop the lesson and begin a new one discussing how her sister, learning and obedience is so much more important than the toy.

[rowan25]

Mine are 2.5 and 5. Only the 5 year old is schooling right now, but when I announce school time, both come to the table. The 2 year old colors, plays with math blocks, rolls cars---anything reasonably quiet. This has, for us, alleviated the problem of whose toys were being played with by whom. And I'm not sure how it happened. It just did. :)

[ChristusG]

My 2 year old is not a typical two year old though LOL. She has no interest in coloring, drawing, or most toys. She has a few favorite toys (some Disney princesses and some Little People) that she plays with all.the.time. These are the things that DD5 and DD2 have set up to play with. They are not breakable toys, just kid toys. And when I say "set them up", I mean that they have their toys lined up in lines pretending to go somewhere, or they have a group of animals together forming a zoo, or they have different families standing together doing something or other. And DD5 does not want DD2 to touch these things while she is doing school (they had previously been playing with them together before I called for school time). So pulling out a special toy would not work because DD2 wouldn't care about it....she only likes to play with her few special toys.

 

Also, DD 2 does not nap. :glare:

 

Seriously, this kid thinks she is 5 years old like her big sister (DD2 will be 3 soon though....in March).

 

I feel like I'm at a loss. I do not want to turn on a TV show for DD2 because I do not allow the kids to watch very much TV (two 30 minute shows per day and they usually choose to watch those right when they wake up). Anyways, if DD5 knew that DD2 was watching a show without her, she'd freak LOL.

 

Maybe I can convince them to only play in the playroom on school mornings....then DD2 would be playing in the playroom when DD5 came into the school room to do school. They love playing in the school/computer room because it is in the very center of the house.

[The Governess]

I would see if you can have them play in their playroom on school mornings. Maybe you can institute a "quiet time" for each of the girls? They can each have x minutes to play/read by themselves in the playroom. Then you can alternate working with/spending time one-on-one with the other.

 

Dd3 is usually happy to play by herself while I am doing school with dd5, because it means that dd5 will not be trying to boss her around. :D

[Chris in VA]

I think I'd make it a rule that all toys get cleaned up at night, so that nothing is out when school starts. Then I'd let dd2 choose a couple of toys to play with--if they aren't "set up" but just out, will dd5 still be distracted? Is it the set up she doesn't want ruined, or is it just she wants to control the play of the toys? These toys are for both children, right? Even tho sharing is so very important, could the littlest have her very own set of Little People or Disney Princesses that dd5 has no say in the use of? They could come out just at school time. Dd5 might be jealous, but you could also have a couple of things special for her that she doesn't have to share.

 

I am not good at remembering who's kids are whose--pls forgive me! Does your 5 have Aspie tendencies? The lining up the toys and not wanting them disturbed can be perfectly normal or a sign of something else, and I'm sorry, I don't remember your situation. It can help to have two sets (one that has to be shared, one other) if that's the case.

[rowan25]

My 2 year old is not a typical two year old though LOL. She has no interest in coloring, drawing, or most toys. She has a few favorite toys (some Disney princesses and some Little People) that she plays with all.the.time. These are the things that DD5 and DD2 have set up to play with. They are not breakable toys, just kid toys. And when I say "set them up", I mean that they have their toys lined up in lines pretending to go somewhere, or they have a group of animals together forming a zoo, or they have different families standing together doing something or other. And DD5 does not want DD2 to touch these things while she is doing school (they had previously been playing with them together before I called for school time). So pulling out a special toy would not work because DD2 wouldn't care about it....she only likes to play with her few special toys.

 

Also, DD 2 does not nap. :glare:

 

Seriously, this kid thinks she is 5 years old like her big sister (DD2 will be 3 soon though....in March).

 

I feel like I'm at a loss. I do not want to turn on a TV show for DD2 because I do not allow the kids to watch very much TV (two 30 minute shows per day and they usually choose to watch those right when they wake up). Anyways, if DD5 knew that DD2 was watching a show without her, she'd freak LOL.

 

Maybe I can convince them to only play in the playroom on school mornings....then DD2 would be playing in the playroom when DD5 came into the school room to do school. They love playing in the school/computer room because it is in the very center of the house.

Yeah, what we do wouldn't have worked if my son was born first. My 5 year old sounds very much like your youngest. Hopefully someone else will have some practical advice for you!

[JudoMom]

If the toys are breakable or require set-up that the 2 y.o. will ruin, I would put them away.

Otherwise I would begin teaching my older child to share and let the 2 y.o. play with the toy because she's going to lose interest in it quickly anyway.

 

Sharing between my dc is a big issue for me; I'd probably stop the lesson and begin a new one discussing how her sister, learning and obedience is so much more important than the toy.

 

:iagree: