sahm99 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 As we enter our third year homeschooling, and with the kids growing up, I find we are in a quite new situation as far as their/our social life is concerned. The three older kids each have activities 3-4 times a week (sports and music/art). On the week-ends, we usually try to do things together as a family. So, while they certainly do see other kids, there is rarely a moment when they can actually spend time with their friends alone. I am a little worried about them not being able to built real friendships in the long run... Also, I am wondering about whether we are the exception, in rarely having social outings during the week...or if we are just entering a new ("normal") stage of family life... Until last year, with the kids being younger, school being lighter, less activities, etc., we would meet other families regularly during the week. Now there just seems to be absolutely no time for this, if I want to keep up with our agenda:tongue_smilie:. It is a pitty - for the kids AND me...I hardly see my friends any more:001_unsure:... On the other hand, I usually end up regretting an unplanned outing for the rest of the week, as we never seem to manage to get back on track! Looking forward to hearing about your experiences! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 What I have found is that when kids grow into their teen years, it is easier to hand their social lives off to them. They are involved in activities and if they meet friends who they would like to get together with some weekend here and there, they make plans to do so and let you know about them. We set limits about how many weekends can be taken up with this- but really, there is no need, so far. It all kind of happens organically. During the week plans happen only on Fridays with other families, and not every Friday. There just isn't time. The schedule ramps up a lot in middle school, and a lot more in high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 I have a really bad schedule this year. My kids are in all the same activities as last year, but last year I was able to get them scheduled back-to-back on the same days, which left the other days of the week free for playdates. This year, I have to take someone somewhere every day of the week and I'm finding it really difficult to schedule in time for friends. I really hope I can do a better job next year because I do think they need that time. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 I have always prioritised the kids' social lives because my kids are very social and without a good social life, they become miserable. However, I try and combine it with educational activities as much as possible. Both kids do Scouts. It involves a lot of weekend activities but it's important for them. They also go to a science class and the day involves a fair amount of socialising with other homeschooled kids. We've always done things like that. I guess every family has to find its own way with this. I try and only do afternoon activities, but some years, we have done one or two mornings. Its all about finding that right balance- for the kids, for getting school done, and for making it so I dont burn out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 As we enter our third year homeschooling, and with the kids growing up, I find we are in a quite new situation as far as their/our social life is concerned. The three older kids each have activities 3-4 times a week (sports and music/art). On the week-ends, we usually try to do things together as a family. So, while they certainly do see other kids, there is rarely a moment when they can actually spend time with their friends alone. I am a little worried about them not being able to built real friendships in the long run... Also, I am wondering about whether we are the exception, in rarely having social outings during the week...or if we are just entering a new ("normal") stage of family life... Until last year, with the kids being younger, school being lighter, less activities, etc., we would meet other families regularly during the week. Now there just seems to be absolutely no time for this, if I want to keep up with our agenda:tongue_smilie:. It is a pitty - for the kids AND me...I hardly see my friends any more:001_unsure:... On the other hand, I usually end up regretting an unplanned outing for the rest of the week, as we never seem to manage to get back on track! Looking forward to hearing about your experiences! My best friend has all her kids in public school and sports/band. The weekend is for the kid's games and "family time" -- so, they don't do sleepovers, etc. during the school year. I can't recall her kids having one on one time with any of their friends. I think all parents worry about this as kids' schedules are packed these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 My dd8 has a her best friend ( who's in ps) come over after she gets out of school, every Wednesday. They play for awhile, eat dinner and then I take them to Awanas. I pick them up and the girl's mom or dad, who are friends of ours, comes over to pick her up about 7:40 and usually stays to chat awhile. We love our Wednesdays. It is perfect to have an everyweek, scheduled social outlet for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 They have one or two friends they are close with who come over for sleepovers or to play on weekends. They take the initiative, though (either them or my dc) to plan get-togethers. As an example, here's what last weekend looked like for us: dd share a particular friend and they had her spend the night on Friday pm. They went to church in the morning, then the friend came back and played throughout the evening. As a family we had plans, so the friend went home around 5:30, after dinner. Saturday during the day, oldest ds went to a local park to play pick-up football with a good friend. Other ds chose to stay at home and play video games, instead. When we went out as a family on Sat night, youngest ds played with their son, a good friend to him. Oldest dd went somewhere with me Sunday afternoon, where she played with the daughter of someone I mentor, while the rest of the dc vegged or played outside with neighborhood kids. That's generally our weekend, except I usually stay home. We have simply learned to make their friends a part of what we do as a family so they have time to be with us and spend with their friends. We usually have at least 2 kids a w/e spend the night and hang out for the weekend. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to have a friend that is in an activity with them who we also see socially. That doesn't happen too often though. People are all so busy, as are we, and honestly, they just haven't connected deeply with a ton of people. I find that normal, though. I am only truly friends, as opposed to socially acquainted, with a handful of people. Since my close friends and I are all busy running our homes, we don't actually see each other much. We spend a small bit of time on the phone and may go months without face to face contact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saille Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Just popping in to say I'm having the same problem. Two of our scout leaders dropped out this year, so dh and I are running a multi-level group and four kids whose ages closely correspond to my own kids' are gone. My big kids are mostly stuck with littler kids. We have a once a week afternoon homeschooling get-together, but I'm not sure how long it will last once the snow hits. And yes, the increased focus on formal academics this year has left us with less time for spontaneous get-togethers. I also work part time on both Saturday and Sunday, so that further complicates things. I'm hoping to get my oldest involved in First Lego League next year when he's nine, and that will hopefully open up some new peer opportunities, but it won't help my dd. *Sigh*. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 If it helps, I didn't have any friends over or go to any friends' houses as a kid unless it was for a birthday party, and I turned out normal-ish. ;) Once I hit my teen years, I started planning my own social activities, but till then, I got nothing. Not even extracurricular activities. The only interaction I had with friends was at school. Sounds like you're doing a great job :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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