I need a little help with my Schmooey, sleeping, and school.

[3lilreds in NC]

I am having a really hard time doing school while Schmooey is awake. Why do it when he's awake, you ask? Because the child refuses to sleep. If he naps in his own room, I might get 45 min - an hour. If I can lay down with him, he sleeps much longer - but that defeats the purpose of the nap. If I just let him sleep for that short little time, he is cranky and unpleasant for the rest of the day. My plan was to get school done while he was napping. Hence, very little school gets done at this point.

 

At night, he comes in to sleep with us. Sometimes we make it until 5 or 6 am, but it's usually between 1-2. I've been letting him stay because if I put him back to bed, he comes back a few more times. At least this way I get some sleep - back to functioning for that whole school thing I mentioned above. We are not family bed people; he really needs to be in his own bed.

 

I don't know what to do. If I don't stay in the room until he is asleep, he screams like a banshee. He will eventually fall asleep, but not for very long. This started before we went on vacation; the sleeping with us came after vacation.

 

My dad's (not so) helpful advice was to spank him and tell him he has to stay in bed. It hurts my heart to even think about that. Anyone have any suggestions? I'm not above the occasional spank, but bedtime doesn't seem like the time for that.

 

:willy_nilly:

[*********]

Ok, let me preface this by saying, I had the same trouble with Moose when he was that age. If I laid down with him, he'd sleep for a good long time. But then, Zee was just 3 or 4, and I wasn't trying to school. I was, however, trying to keep a 4 year old from destroying the house. :glare:

 

Anyway, would he sleep in a sling? I never had a sling, although I wanted one. Can a 'older' baby, like a 1 year old, sleep comfortably in there? Will he sleep if there's noise, so long as he's with you?

 

At one, I couldn't imagine spanking for a nap, either. I still don't, and Moose is coming up on 4. I may be more detrimined now to make him nap alone in his bed, but I still won't spank for it. It's just not worth it, IMHO.

 

I'm sorry I don't have more advice. But I do sympathize. :grouphug:

[Mom2GirlsTX]

I have no helpful advice other than lots of sympathy. The sling idea sounds good. Can you wait to school the others till he grows up?:D Just kidding. I hope you find a solution soon.

[Chris in VA]

Take this with a grain of salt--

I saw on Supernanny (yep, I occasionally watch the show--it's nice to

have a happy ending sometimes!) that a couple was having mucho trouble with kids waking up and coming in to sleep with them. It sounded much like your situation.

Her solution was for the parents to put them (they had two boys sleeping in one room) into bed with pleasantries, then sit in their room not interacting with them, actually facing away from them, until they were asleep. The other part of the technique was to take them back to bed each time they got up--the first time, say "It's bedtime, Darling," and walk them in and cover them up--no other interaction. The second time (because they kept coming out), the parents walked them back to bed with a "It's bedtime." The third time and every time after, just a silent, calm walk-back-in and into bed. Keep doing that, for as long as it takes. It took 2 hours on the show, but the result apparently was that it took less the next night, less the next, etc until they were staying in their beds all night. The kiddos in this case seemed to be about 2 and 4. They screamed and protested, but eventually got the message.

Could you just try that? I guess you'd have to commit to it, but it does not involve spanking or not responding (they actually came out of the room to their parents room).

[KJB]

My one year old sleeps from 12:45ish until maybe 1:30 or 2. She goes to bed at 7:30ish and gets up around 7:30.

 

She would be happy to skip the afternoon nap, but I would not be so happy. So, she naps.

 

DD's night routine is a cinch, but it's only because of consistency. She slept with me until about 4 mos, then moved to her crib. I've been putting her down at the same time with the same routine since 4 months. She used to get nursed before bed, but she's weaned now. She eats dinner, takes a bath, has her sippy cup of milk while I read, and then she goes to bed. I walk in, turn off her lights, talk to her about night night time, sing a little song, and lie her down 100% awake. She fusses for about 5 minutes and then nods off.

 

I'm kind of no nonsense about bedtime. People need sleep. I need down time. My kids (all 5) go to bed. Nobody complains because that's just what we do. We haven't ever had a night time problem or a stay in bed issue.

 

I would encourage you to adopt a take no prisoners attitude. Decide what the routine is going to be and stick to it. He'll protest, freak out, act like he's being tortured for a bit, and then he'll sleep. And you'll be glad you did it. You absolutely do not need to spank him (doesn't sound like something that would relax the poor little guy), you just need to be consistent about a bedtime and routine that you decide upon ahead of time.

 

Stay strong sister.

[3lilreds in NC]

I have seen the Supernanny idea. That's what got me started sitting in there at bedtime. I just never moved any further away from my chair so I'm still in there with him. :blushing: Honestly, he kept getting out of bed so many times, it was easier just to sit in there. The thing is that he's gotten to the point that he fights to stay awake to make sure I stay in there. We need to move on to the next step.

 

Also, I need to update my sig - he's actually 2, and probably weighs close to 40 lbs. I haven't taken him in for his 2 year old visit yet, but he was 36 inches and 34 pounds at 18 months. He's wearing 4T clothes. I don't think my back could take carrying him in a sling, even if I thought he would sleep in one! :lol:

[JudoMom]

My one year old sleeps from 12:45ish until maybe 1:30 or 2. She goes to bed at 7:30ish and gets up around 7:30.

 

She would be happy to skip the afternoon nap, but I would not be so happy. So, she naps.

 

DD's night routine is a cinch, but it's only because of consistency. She slept with me until about 4 mos, then moved to her crib. I've been putting her down at the same time with the same routine since 4 months. She used to get nursed before bed, but she's weaned now. She eats dinner, takes a bath, has her sippy cup of milk while I read, and then she goes to bed. I walk in, turn off her lights, talk to her about night night time, sing a little song, and lie her down 100% awake. She fusses for about 5 minutes and then nods off.

 

I'm kind of no nonsense about bedtime. People need sleep. I need down time. My kids (all 5) go to bed. Nobody complains because that's just what we do. We haven't ever had a night time problem or a stay in bed issue.

 

I would encourage you to adopt a take no prisoners attitude. Decide what the routine is going to be and stick to it. He'll protest, freak out, act like he's being tortured for a bit, and then he'll sleep. And you'll be glad you did it. You absolutely do not need to spank him (doesn't sound like something that would relax the poor little guy), you just need to be consistent about a bedtime and routine that you decide upon ahead of time.

 

Stay strong sister.

 

:iagree:

[3lilreds in NC]

 

I would encourage you to adopt a take no prisoners attitude. Decide what the routine is going to be and stick to it. He'll protest, freak out, act like he's being tortured for a bit, and then he'll sleep. And you'll be glad you did it. You absolutely do not need to spank him (doesn't sound like something that would relax the poor little guy), you just need to be consistent about a bedtime and routine that you decide upon ahead of time.

 

Stay strong sister.

 

I know you are right about this. I was so much better with the girls. I don't know why it's so hard to listen to him cry than it was them - it just is! :D I need to get tough though, you're right. I probably need to have a talk with dh and make sure he can be home for bedtimes for a few nights until we get this under control.