Anyone Have a Child with OCD?

[Hilary]

My youngest has been struggling with OCD on and off for years but we finally got to the point in January where things were out of control. He would be washing his hands 25 times a day, taking a minimum of two hours every morning to get showered and dressed, and unable to touch virtually anything. Needless to say, school was a nightmare and the stress level in our family was over the roof!

 

He's now been on generic Prozac (fluoxetine) for over a month and the change has been dramatic. He still has to push himself to limit hand-washing and to touch "unclean" things ... but at least he's willing to try and not paralyzed by anxiety.

 

What I'm wondering is ... if anyone else has been through something similiar, did treating the OCD have positive benefits on your child's ability to do schoolwork as well? My son has always had difficulty handling frustration ... if he couldn't "get" things immediately (especially math problems) or do things "perfectly" he would become inordinately upset, often to the point of tears. Now that his condition has been diagnosed, I'm looking back and realizing that maybe a lot of this frustration stemmed from his anxiety disorder and that with treatment, maybe his schoolwork will become less of a struggle.

 

Any thoughts from those who've been through this?

[Lady Lorna]

My heart goes out to you and your family. My daughter has probably always had OCD, but was not formally diagnosed until she was in sixth grade. She was always an excellent student, but when in the throes of the disorder had trouble concentrating so that homework seemed to take forever, resulting in frustration and fatigue. Once she was able to get the disorder under control (with a combination of medication and congnitive behavioral therapy) things began to go more smoothly. Hopefully, you will begin to experience the same and things will continue to improve.

[8filltheheart]

My ds is OCD on top of numerous other issues. It might be with your ds that this is all it will take. However, OCD is also very common with mental illnesses. I would suggest keeping an eye on the situation and deciding whether or not further testing or evaluations are necessary. I would also highly recommend behavioral modification therapy and not solely on meds. Intervention can make a difference in their lives. I had a conversation with a woman who had suffered with severe OCD about this last night. I couldn't believe the beh therapy she had received and how much she can now control w/o meds.

[Barb_]

No, but my husband does. He lost 2 jobs in two years due to his compulsions...nothing icky or sinister, mainly his anxiety was such a distraction that he found it impossible to prioritize or play the social game that is so important for executives to be skilled in. After moving to AZ and getting into a car accident, again indirectly related to his OCD behaviors, he agreed to therapy. After a few months of behavioral therapy and a low dosage of Zoloft I have the husband I always knew he was capable of being. His whole life has become less of a struggle. If I had known what a dramatic improvement he was going to experience, I would have encouraged (okay, begged) him to go in years ago. He feels the same. He's 40, not a teen, so he has the maturity to make huge strides, but I can imagine your son having a similar experience. Knowing how you're supposed to act doesn't help when you are incapable of following through.

 

Barb

 

What I'm wondering is ... if anyone else has been through something similiar, did treating the OCD have positive benefits on your child's ability to do schoolwork as well? My son has always had difficulty handling frustration ... if he couldn't "get" things immediately (especially math problems) or do things "perfectly" he would become inordinately upset, often to the point of tears. Now that his condition has been diagnosed, I'm looking back and realizing that maybe a lot of this frustration stemmed from his anxiety disorder and that with treatment, maybe his schoolwork will become less of a struggle.

 

Any thoughts from those who've been through this?

[Grace is Sufficient]

Both of my kids have OCD, but both seem to be fairly mild. With my 9th grade son, it's all about the germs -- so he washes his hands a lot, but seems to be able to control it, and also has a lot of issues with food and eating. We have not yet sought counselling for him. He seems to be able to keep it manageable. I keep praying that God would give us wisdom as to when/if we should.

 

My 7th grade daughter's is reflected in what looks like an extreme pickiness about what clothes she'll wear (won't tolerate the feel of things) and an as-yet unbreakable habit of picking at her skin. Only in the last 6 months when we finally sought counselling for her did we discover that these were also common symptoms of OCD. She's not getting the cognitive behavioral therapy and Zoloft, but it hasn't helped yet. We'll probably have to increase the Zoloft, but I ****HATE**** having my little girl taking that stuff.

 

I have not been aware of it affecting their schoolwork, but I'm not sure I've been as on-top off all this stuff as I might have been. I am so glad your son is getting help and being helped by it. Going through all this stuff with your children is so incredibly hard for mom.

[Hilary]

Thank you for your comments! It has been an "interesting" journey, to say the least. Hearing that others have had similar issues is comforting, and I'm still pondering whether the underlying anxiety has affected my son's schoolwork more than I realized. Because he has been so easily frustrated, I think I have always set lower expectations for him than my other two ... and I'm hoping that maybe now that he is managing his symptoms better, he may be able to accomplish more than I had hoped.

 

I should say that we are pursuing cognitive behavior therapy with a LCSW as well as seeing a psychiatrist. From what I've read and heard, if the symptoms are not too disabling, talk therapy alone can make significant changes ... but I think in my son's case, the meds were necessary to get him to the point where he even *could* talk about what he was feeling.

[schmittgirlz]

This disorder is taxing on both the individual and the family! I agree with what others have already shared. I would add that I could see how OCD can interfere with schoolwork...the obsession can prevent the person from switching gears as the OCD is "bossy" and it can dominate regardless of the situation. In regard to frustration, doubt can emerge and escalate out of control which then turns into a vicious OCD cycle until the individual develops the strategies to identify the obsession/compulsion and "boss it back." I am glad to hear the meds are working and you are seeking help because it can become very overwhelming for all involved and your family needs as much support and encouragment as possible. You have probably already read a ton on this topic, but two books I found helpful include Brain Lock and OCD in Children and Adolescents: A Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment manual.

 

Good Luck!

Clare

[Carrie in NC]

You've gotten some great feedback here. I thought I'd chime in because we're "sort of" on the other side of this. Looking back, I know my daughter was having OCD symptoms as early as 4 years old. For her, the OCD is intertwined with social anxiety disorder. We had a very rough time of it through her elementary years. I was often pregnant and tired, and she was a very difficult child due to her anxiety and OCD problems. I finally learned to love her for who she was and our relationship really turned around in her early teens.

 

By 15 however, her OCD symptoms started interfering with her quality of life. She couldn't get to sleep at nights because she had to go through so many rituals. Her self-esteem plummeted because she was intelligent enough to know what she was doing was unnecessary and even "silly." That's when she started "cutting." We got her into a Duke University study led by Dr John Marsh, a leading researcher for OCD in children. First she was on Zoloft and Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which eased her OCD but worsened her anxiety and cutting. She then continued CBT and was put on Effexor ER. She was 16. At that time we doubted she would live a "normal" life.

 

Fast-forward almost 7 years. In May, my daughter will graduate from North Carolina State with a degree in History and get married a week later! She is still on Effexor and still struggles with some anxiety and OCD issues. But she has them under control and she recognizes what's going on. She is still an introvert and doesn't do crowds well, nor does she have many close friends. But she has kept a part-time job while going full-time to school for three years, and she is marrying a great guy! (Total computer/ gaming geek that fits in well here!)

 

OCD and anxiety issues run in my side of the family. My dd's doctor thinks she may always be on meds because she believes it is a biological issue with her.

 

There were several years there when I was exhausted and worried most of the time. Dealing with my daughter's problems and driving to all those appointments while also taking care of four younger children (one only 3 or 4) was draining. You hurt so bad for your kids, and there is so little you can do sometimes. But time, maturity, and good medical help (whether meds or therapy or both) make a world of difference!

 

Edited to add: Yes, treating my dd's OCD and anxiety disorders had a big impact on her ability to do school. Once she was able to think due to the meds, she also found some other "tricks" that worked for her. She kept erasing everything she wrote, so she found some gel pens that "felt" right to her, looked pretty, and meant she couldn't redo her work. It helped her get over the perfectionism in her written work. She has been taking Adderall off label (meaning not for ADHD) to help her with concentration and motivation, something that can be a problem on some anti-depressants. She plans to stop the Adderall after she finishes college.

 

Bless you!

Carrie

[Guest SmokyJo]

My 19 year old son came out of the "OCD" closet 7 months ago and my heart feels like a dishrag, it has been rung with tears, so many tears. He told me the other day, "Mom, if one of my friends could be in my shoes for ONE SECOND, they would be on their knees crying, I'm telling you." Said so quietly as he walked sideways so as not to touch the walls or furniture. He's traded in 2 cars for the same model in 3 months because of contamination from leaves he thinks a rat may have touched. Then I made the mistake of taking out Drano to unclog out sink - that was a two weeker of agony, no talking about anything except what could happen if he stepped on a drop, took off his shoes (I've bought 8 pair in 3 months) and then accidentally touched his lips. He has such a good heart, it's always "I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't for you", but I recently got a bit tough about treatment (he's opposition defiant and thinks he's "maintaining", won't even take an aspirin.)

 

What do I do about my beautiful child, gifted with IQ 148 but ADD and writes like a 4 year old, will he ever be able to live a normal life? Like one person said, as soon as he get's one thing under control, something else pops up, and now that I'm not enabling him as much, he's not home much, lectures me about eating, locking the doors, our talk is centered on finances now as had 3 operations and am disabled and unemployed. So much at one time - found lots of black mold and the whole house has to be 'remediated", torn down, I'm thinking of walking away with the money I have left. I know it feels so hopeless because it's so recent - HOW DID I MISS THIS? But it just came out when an exterminator who looked like a homeless, filthy person walked through the house - then everything is contaminated. He says, Mom, if you sell your car (contaminated from the house) then I can hug you again, we can go to movies and dinner. I'm agoraphobic now that I don't work, just looking for answers on the net, searching for some way to help him because I'm becoming afraid of my own son and afraid for him. He's so miserable I fear suicide, but he says "God made me this way and there's a reason. You just wait, I'm going to be a millionaire in a year and buy you a mansion. Don't worry about me, worry about yourself, mom. Oh, I can't write anymore, you love someone so much you wish you could just trade places. I'll keep on reading and something will be different, something other than the treatment he won't go to, something will click someday. Please pray for us, because I'm not sure I'm going to make it through Thanksgiving this year.....

[Lady Lorna]

My heart goes out to you. We discovered our daughter has OCD when she was in sixth grade. After many years of treatment, her OCD is under control, and she manages her outbreaks well.

 

A few thoughts. First, educate yourself. It has been some time since I have done any research, but a couple of the books I remember are Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Dirsorder by Tamar Chansky and The Imp of the Mind by Lee Baer. The Obsessive Compulsive Foundation also puts out a newsletter that can be very helpful. Second, continue to encourage your son to find treatment. He may benefit from either medication or exposure therapy, or some combination of the two.

 

I know your situation is different, because your son is older and you cannot make his health choices for him, but I do want to stress that with treatment, individuals with OCD can lead happy and productive lives. Our daughter is an accomplished student and athlete, volunteers in the community, and handles pressure well. It takes time, commitment, and discipline, and the shadow of a resurgence will always be there, but it can be done.

[Tree House Academy]

My older son has undiagnosed OCD, but I have severe OCD and let me just say that EVERYTHING is more managable on the meds (which I am NOT on right now and really should be). Prozac is a good drug for OCD too. Best wishes to your son. It is not an easy battle.