Do your kids feel "different"?

[gingersmom]

My 12 year old daughter (almost 13) is a new homeschooler. She is a 7/8th grader (depending on whether you ask her or me :001_smile:)

 

She is on a synchronized skating team with 14 other girls and there are about 125 girls all together that she interacts with.

 

She has told lots of the other kids that she is homeschooled as they are discussing going back to school. And she says they are all jealous of her and want to be homeschooled. They think its cool, etc. All positive comments.

 

She even told them we have already started school and still she got positive comments.

 

All this troubles my daughter. She says she feels "different". She didn't want to tell them I gave her a bottle of nail polish and an I Tunes gift card for doing such a good job the past few weeks.

 

I'm really at a loss. I can't imagine what she is worried about. I told her they all want to be like you. This is a good thing. They are looking at you as a positive role model. What is there not to like?

 

We have done public school and last year private school. I'm about to start banging my head against the wall. If she says she wants to go back to public school I think I will lose it. Seriously.

 

I have debated signing up with Clonlara so I can get a more "official" transcript if I should need it. But I really don't want to spend the money for an 8th grade transcript (for college purposes is different) and I really don't want her going back to public school.

 

Its not easy being the parent of a pre-teenager.

[abbeyej]

I think you nailed it at the end there -- this is a tough age (for you, for her) no matter, and I think it's a particularly tough age to make a big change (major move, starting home schooling) and to feel "different".

 

Feeling "different" because of home schooling was never really an issue for me, as a kid, and the comments I got were nearly all the ones your dd is getting now (and that was 20 years ago, when far, far fewer people were home schooling). *But* I was always home schooled. I wasn't starting in those junior high years when it can be so tough to feel like the odd one out.

 

Perhaps you can talk to her more about the age at which she is now, about how nearly everyone goes through a phase of feeling "different" or out of place. Home schooling is an easy mark for *why* she feels different, but even if she were in school, she'd likely still experience a lot of those feelings of isolation, and most of her peers are probably feeling that way for various reasons too.

[5KidzRUs]

I only have one (18dd) - FWIW, I think you should back away from the intricacies of their dynamics. I think that being noncommental (other than ok, uh-huh. that's good) ... then eventually it will be a non-issue to them too.

[Moni]

I can't imagine what she is worried about.

 

She's 12

 

Its not easy being the parent of a pre-teenager.

 

Yeah, you know it.

 

If it wasn't this, it'd be another thing.

 

It's the age and stage.

 

:seeya:

[dangermom]

I agree with abbey that you should talk to her about how everyone feels different. IME, many women are still feeling that way as adults. It might help to know that.

[justamouse]

We went through this. Hang tough and just weather it. And then, tell her...

 

My darling girl, when are you going to understand that "normal" is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage. ~ Aunt Frances, Practical Magic

 

 

Now dd LOVES being the oddball. When she and her friends go out, they all ask her to pick out their clothes for them and come with them when they get their hair cuts. :001_huh: Basically, it's empowered her to be herself, which now everyone wants to copy.