Walking the Balanced Road of Developing the Whole Person

[Sweetpeach]

Hive,

 

I'm sure this has been discussed a million times.

 

I'll need to change my strategy in the fall to take into consideration more LA, grammar study. I'm up for the challenge and I feel we need to add more elements into our homeschooling environment..

 

I still believe that the "whole person" is important when it comes to our hs experience.

 

I have this bias that rigour = control. I fight the control beast, both as a mother and a teacher.

 

Speak into this please:

 

I know I need to add in more rigour with grammar/LA.

I know it will take a bit more time, energy, focus . . . on my part and theirs.

I know I can't battle school.

I know I can force, contrive, punish, control to make school happen.

I don't know how to add more rigour/raise expectations without bringing an atmosphere of me against them.

 

This is about grammar but this is also about me and how I feel in my role as mother/teacher. I can't battle. It makes me crazy.

 

Who has a rigourous school atmosphere and has negotiated a sand box that everyone can live in happily?

 

I know that some things just aren't fun to do. I get that. I don't want to be a burdensome task-master. I want to fight for their hearts and their brains without alienating one for the other. At the end of the day, I don't want kids that can spout of this, that and the other thing but have resented me driving a serious agenda.

 

I'm walking the tension between strong academics and heart-level relationships. Ah, the radical middle. How do I walk the middle ground of cherishing my children and challenging them at the same time?

 

Hmmmmm.

Tricia

[Mandy in TN]

I still believe that the "whole person" is important when it comes to our hs experience....

 

I know I can force, contrive, punish, control to make school happen....

 

Who has a rigourous school atmosphere and has negotiated a sand box that everyone can live in happily?...

 

I'm walking the tension between strong academics and heart-level relationships. Ah, the radical middle. How do I walk the middle ground of cherishing my children and challenging them at the same time?

 

Charlotte Mason

http://www.amblesideonline.org/CM/20Principles.html

"Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life."

 

HTH-

Mandy

[FO4UR]

:lurk5:

 

The obnoxious answer from a newbie....inexperienced and idealistic....is to get them to the point where grammar (or whatever the subject) is important to them. Show them how grammar fits into the big picture of their goals for themselves. Now, how to do that?????

 

From: the obnoxious, inexperienced and idealistic newbie who is stalking this thread!:001_smile:

[8filltheheart]

My simplistic answer......make sure you are keeping everything age appropriate both in expectations and time

 

I have found my kids don't really "rebel" against school work unless they are overwhelmed, confused, or frustrated. When topics and assignments are on target with their abilities, they usually want to engage and learn. Finding that balance is really the key.

 

*Keep their days appropriate lengths (approx 1 hr/grade level).

 

*Make sure assignments are clearly defined with appropriate support. Don't give vague assignments like "write a paragraph on dophins." (There are books written on dolphins. That is an overwhelming topic for a child. Make the assignment specific so they have direction. "write a paragraph on why dolphins are mammals.")

 

*Teach across subjects. Don't give writing assignments in isolation. Assign topics from history, science, or lit so that they do double duty.

 

*Grammar does not have to be boring. Take a noun and add as many different action verbs as you can to completely change the context of the sentence. Do the same with adjs, advs, etc. Explore topics discussing them and playing around with them vs. simply going through a textbook.

 

*Raise expectations incrementally. DOn't expect radical changes instantly b/c that will simply leave all of you frustrated.

 

My kids all thrive in homeschooling. They love it. The only "stressed-out" one is me!

 

HTH......it takes a long time to find a balance b/c it really isn't about schooling at home. It is about a learning lifestyle. Don't be too hard on yourself!!!

Edited July 6, 2009 by 8FillTheHeart

[Zebra]

*Keep their days appropriate lengths (approx 1 hr/grade level).

 

 

I too am going to be watching this thread with interest! It's a topic I think about a lot, without having the experience to back it up.

 

Not to hijack, but I had a question about the above quote...is that 1 hr/grade level until you reach a certain amount of hours? It makes a lot of sense to me as a guideline (until I started thinking about an 11th grader doing 11 hours a day of work).

 

:lurk5:

[8filltheheart]

I too am going to be watching this thread with interest! It's a topic I think about a lot, without having the experience to back it up.

 

Not to hijack, but I had a question about the above quote...is that 1 hr/grade level until you reach a certain amount of hours? It makes a lot of sense to me as a guideline (until I started thinking about an 11th grader doing 11 hours a day of work).

 

:lurk5:

 

It's true until about 6th grade. Middle school days are typically around 6-7 hrs/day and high school days can range anywhere from 6-9 hrs/day.

 

It has been a good rule of thumb for our family. If my younger kids' days run longer, I can literally see them "wilt" (as in losing their joy and love for school.)

 

FWIW.....dilly-dallying and day-dreaming are not excuses for them to get out of their work. I know what they are capable of achieving in x amt of time and their assignments are time-length appropriate. ;)

[Sweetpeach]

Momof7, can't you just come for tea? This learning lifestyle in a balanced way is a hard hill for me to climb.

 

I value learning.

I value relationship.

I need ligaments connecting the two.

 

The CM Habits make sense to me.

The truth is, I need to CM myself with proper habits and model such for my kids. In many ways, I'm just lucky that the kids are blossoming academically . . .

 

This is always about that, in my mind.

The angst of tackling the grammar/LA/writing parts of school is really about my fear of being a hs'ing tyrant.

I want rigour and relationship.

We love our days together and I don't want to trade one for the other.

 

I have to figure out how this rigour/relationship can be a both/and instead of either/or.

 

I understand this is something I have to figure out in me, but it's a hill worth climbing because I want my kids to have the tools they need. I want to supply them with tools in a way that's loving, kind, age-appropriate (all the things you listed, Momof 7!)

 

I believe there is a path to follow. I just have to get there.

 

Thank you, Lovelies, for being a soft place to fall in the midst of a crazy stretch.

xoxox

T

[Sweetpeach]

:lurk5:

 

The obnoxious answer from a newbie....inexperienced and idealistic....is to get them to the point where grammar (or whatever the subject) is important to them. Show them how grammar fits into the big picture of their goals for themselves. Now, how to do that?????

 

From: the obnoxious, inexperienced and idealistic newbie who is stalking this thread!:001_smile:

 

I don't think your response is obnoxious. As you start this journey, keep alive your ideals and always remember what you hoped it could be. We've dipped in and out of living our best selves as a homeschooling family but I keep in mind the joys of those early glorious days . . . there have been stretches when the only thing that kept me going were the memories of those beautiful, beginning days. I've never given up on the dream of both/and in our homeschooling experience.

 

All the best for your homeschooling journey!

Tricia

[Colleen in NS]

I know that some things just aren't fun to do. I get that. I don't want to be a burdensome task-master. I want to fight for their hearts and their brains without alienating one for the other. At the end of the day, I don't want kids that can spout of this, that and the other thing but have resented me driving a serious agenda.

 

I value learning.

I value relationship.

I need ligaments connecting the two.

 

Tricia, I started to reply to this last night, when L came out from her bedroom, saying she'd swallowed her ring!! Off we went for two different emerg. room visits, an ambulance ride from Cob. to children's, and 6 x-rays. She's fine now - ring is on it's way through - at least not in her lungs....anyway....I'll try to remember what I started writing! :)

 

One thing that I've tried to do, esp. over the past year or so, is figure out WHAT I want to teach, WHY, and HOW. Then how to do it most efficiently so we don't spend hours and hours doing what I do think is important for them. I've been able to cut out a lot of busywork this way, and prune down to what I think are essentials. So I might say, we ARE doing math, grammar, Latin, and writing. (and spelling and learning to read, of course) But I figure out what parts of the skills book can be eliminated/cut in half/done orally. And we will use these skills on whatever content matter we (or more accurately, they) are reading through - but I let them pick the content matter (within my chosen yearly scheme like ancient history or life sciences or ancient literature/myths/legends, for example) to read and write about. And they don't write about everything they read - no way. So I control some things, but let them have choice in other things.

 

Because I value academic skills for my kids, I do make them do it (after I've done my best to prune), and they don't always like sitting down to do the math lesson or the grammar lesson.....but I think part of it is just part of growing up - I tell ds11 (who is the more resistant) a lot that he will be glad later on, and sometimes he agrees and sometimes he balks - but all I can do is go with what I think is best for him and it's always a balancing act of constant talk, talk, and talk some more about why we do what we do here. That in itself is the relationship part. And I try to put fun things into our relationships, too. This morning he and I had a pillow fight - he was shocked, but shocking him is fun for him, heh heh! He laughed and laughed and thought it was great fun. It's a balancing act with each kid, to figure out what I think they *need* academically or chore-wise or whatever, and to figure out how to implement those things while working with their personalities. Ds needs me to tease and be funny and have fun and give logical reasons for a decision, dd needs me to snuggle her a lot and to make her smile. Here, the things we implement as important are the place where we can work out the relationships. Not always easy. But I keep reading on the high school boards here how wonderful relationships with teens can be after the years of homeschooling the elementary/middle years, so I have that in mind, too, to keep me trying, trying, trying. And we do enjoy life right now, too.

 

As an aside, I went to the Well Trained Mind Anniversary Conference (1st ever!) in May in Virginia - listened to SWB and JW for two whole days and took lots of notes on teaching all areas of language arts, plus practical workshops on their personal stories, incorporating learning with family life - it gave me a whole new perspective on this whole home education thing - going back to why I was attracted to homeschooling in the first place - reading, learning, and family living. But everything was VERY practical. I came away from there breathing sighs of relief - that things could be effective, efficient, and a whole lot easier. If you ever want to have a chat about my notes from there, let me know.

[Sahamamama]

I value learning.

I value relationship.

I need ligaments connecting the two.

T

 

Perhaps the tie that could bind Learning and Loving in your home is what you share with your children from your heart. In other words, you can openly tell them

 

 

• that you adore them

• that you value learning

• that you rejoice in seeing your children grow as people and scholars

• that you want to keep learning for the rest of your life

• that you are doing your best to give them the skills to do the same

• that sometimes it is hard for you to push them

• that sometimes it is hard for you to push yourself

• that homeschooling allows you to encourage each other in your mutual scholarship

 

You get the idea. Only you can determine when/if your children are mature enough to benefit from this level of honesty and transparency. IME as a tutor (4th, 5th, 6th grade boys), I have at times opened up like this -- it's a way of letting the student know that I am PASSIONATE about both him AND learning, that it's hard to always be pushing him from the outside, that I care about his learning and want to see him care about it also, that I believe becoming a scholar matters, and so on. It might even convey, at times, that I am becoming a bit discouraged with the student's lack of sincere effort. I don't lecture, I just say what's on my heart. This heart-to-heart approach always results in the student maturing, gaining insight into his lack of progress, and coming to understand/apply the work ethic of scholarship. [Oh, and because I tutor only boys, it invariably leads to them bringing in JOKE BOOKS for Read-Aloud Reading Practice the following week.... perhaps they are thanking me with humor (male tendency)? Perhaps they think I need to lighten up?]

 

FWIW, I think that "rigor" is not the appropriate word to use in reference to anyone's education. "Rigor" means "harsh," "severe," "inflexible stringency" --

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rigor -- no wonder we recoil from the thought! ;) We think of rigor as "piling it on," but this mindset keeps the motivation for learning OUTSIDE the learner -- the parent/teacher lightens or piles on (i.e., controls) the workload. Instead, you might find the balance you are looking for by focusing on Disciplined Passion. If you yourself possess this, you will find the way to instill it in your students. Good luck!

Edited July 7, 2009 by Sahamamama

[Nan in Mass]

I've been pretty successful at what you are describing. It is a compromise that I have to constantly adjust GRIN. We could be more rigorous is spots, but we are homeschooling, and for our family, that means that the children have to be willing partners. We have a sort of unspoken agreement: You will choose what is important to you and how you will learn it. I will figure out a way to integrate that information into a coherent picture of the world and make sure you have the academic skills you will need to teach yourself as an adult. I will take a guess at what else you need to know when you are grownup. I will take a guess at a way to teach you these things. If it isn't working, or isn't working efficiently, you will tell me. If I still think this is the best method, you will keep doing it (didn't happen very often). If you think of a better way, you will tell me. We will be tolerent of each other's mistakes and off-days and not expect perfection. I will assume you are working your hardest and you will work your hardest (this is hard GRIN). The worst times are when either I have broken my half of this agreement, or when I have misjudged and am asking too much or too little of them. They complain of boredom for both these, or they melt down and refuse to do anything. That is a sign to me that I have misjudged.

 

I try to do things in an applied way, so for example, grammar gets done during Latin. That way it is obvious to my children why we are doing what we are doing. They think it would be cool to be able to read Latin, otherwise we probably wouldn't be able to put in the years of disciplined hard work involved. If it is something unpalatable, we do it for a set amount of time at the same times each week so everyone knows when it will end, and we follow it up with something fun so we have something to look forward to. If I can, I let my children choose between doing something in a more palatable but longer form, or a shorter but less fun way. I try to keep things pleasant and try to be sympathetic and cheerful. I don't kill myself trying to make everything fun.

 

I make sure I am clear on what our idea of an educated adult is. That sets our goals and how we are going to achieve them. I don't just have academic goals. I try to take into account each child's talents and wishes. That seems to be key. Having set hours during which we work is also key. We all are working hard and need to know when we will be done.

 

I'm not sure how helpful that is. I think it all sort of boils down to creating an atmousphere of cheerful self-discipline, making sure everyone feels like most of what they are doing is getting them where they want to go, and making sure that everyone is doing something every day that is immediately gratifying.

 

HTH

-Nan

[Zebra]

Thanks for the clarification Momof7, I like that idea.

 

I value learning.

I value relationship.

I need ligaments connecting the two.

 

 

I love the way you phrased this. I love the idea of trying to reach for this ideal in my homeschool!

[In the Rain]

My simplistic answer......make sure you are keeping everything age appropriate both in expectations and time

 

I have found my kids don't really "rebel" against school work unless they are overwhelmed, confused, or frustrated. When topics and assignments are on target with their abilities, they usually want to engage and learn. Finding that balance is really the key.

 

 

 

Great list! This one really jumped out at me as something I need to be more aware of.

[Sweetpeach]

Sahamamama: This post zingered right into the depths of my heart. *Disciplined Passion* - I can work with this. I know the trouble isn't with my littles - I gotta start with the woman in the mirror (a little MJ, Dave Ramsey to start the day!) and figure out how I can best reach them.

This post is going in my journal!

Many many blessings and I'll touch back again when I've had a chance to processs what this idea of "disciplined passion" could mean for ME and for our homeschooling experience.

Thank you for explaining why "rigour" wasn't working for me; something in me does cringe when I hear that word.

Warmly, Tricia

 

 

Perhaps the tie that could bind Learning and Loving in your home is what you share with your children from your heart. In other words, you can openly tell them

 

 

• that you adore them
  
• that you value learning
  
• that you rejoice in seeing your children grow as people and scholars
  
• that you want to keep learning for the rest of your life
  
• that you are doing your best to give them the skills to do the same
  
• that sometimes it is hard for you to push them
  
• that sometimes it is hard for you to push yourself
  
• that homeschooling allows you to encourage each other in your mutual scholarship
  

 

You get the idea. Only you can determine when/if your children are mature enough to benefit from this level of honesty and transparency. IME as a tutor (4th, 5th, 6th grade boys), I have at times opened up like this -- it's a way of letting the student know that I am PASSIONATE about both him AND learning, that it's hard to always be pushing him from the outside, that I care about his learning and want to see him care about it also, that I believe becoming a scholar matters, and so on. It might even convey, at times, that I am becoming a bit discouraged with the student's lack of sincere effort. I don't lecture, I just say what's on my heart. This heart-to-heart approach always results in the student maturing, gaining insight into his lack of progress, and coming to understand/apply the work ethic of scholarship. [Oh, and because I tutor only boys, it invariably leads to them bringing in JOKE BOOKS for Read-Aloud Reading Practice the following week.... perhaps they are thanking me with humor (male tendency)? Perhaps they think I need to lighten up?]

 

FWIW, I think that "rigor" is not the appropriate word to use in reference to anyone's education. "Rigor" means "harsh," "severe," "inflexible stringency" --

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rigor -- no wonder we recoil from the thought! ;) We think of rigor as "piling it on," but this mindset keeps the motivation for learning OUTSIDE the learner -- the parent/teacher lightens or piles on (i.e., controls) the workload. Instead, you might find the balance you are looking for by focusing on Disciplined Passion. If you yourself possess this, you will find the way to instill it in your students. Good luck!

[Sweetpeach]

Nan in Mass, your post was incredibly helpful. Now, I could do it justice with a proper response if I knew how to multi-quote in one reply. :)

 

I'll figure that out and be back!

 

Warmly, Tricia

[Sweetpeach]

One thing that I've tried to do, esp. over the past year or so, is figure out WHAT I want to teach, WHY, and HOW. Then how to do it most efficiently so we don't spend hours and hours doing what I do think is important for them.

 

Because I value academic skills for my kids, I do make them do it

 

Hi Colleen, glad Lucy is feeling ok. Sounds like a crazy day you all had.

 

Thank you for carefully explaining the pruning process when deciding what to teach. It's the "making them do it" part that my heart really struggles with.

 

Remember back to when our littles were toddlers. If they decided they weren't going to eat, then they weren't going to eat. There was little I could do about it. In my mind, the push/pull of schooling at home is the same thing. In the past, when I've tried to force my kids to do something, the something might get done but the relationship is invariably harmed.

 

I'm trying to figure the best of both worlds but it's definitely the long term investment I'm looking for. I can make them do whatever I want them to do. I'm bigger then them. My heart longs to point the Peachlets to a life path that values life-long learning, goal setting, academic possibilities, to do the hard work because God tells us we're created to work and stretch our muscles! I'm coming to see that passionate self-discipline is a much needed tool for the journey.

 

First, figuring that out for me. :confused:

 

Warmly, Tricia

[8filltheheart]

It's the "making them do it" part that my heart really struggles with.

 

In my mind, the push/pull of schooling at home is the same thing. In the past, when I've tried to force my kids to do something, the something might get done but the relationship is invariably harmed.

 

I'm trying to figure the best of both worlds but it's definitely the long term investment I'm looking for. I can make them do whatever I want them to do. I'm bigger then them. My heart longs to point the Peachlets to a life path that values life-long learning, goal setting, academic possibilities, to do the hard work because God tells us we're created to work and stretch our muscles! I'm coming to see that passionate self-discipline is a much needed tool for the journey.

 

 

 

Tricia,

 

I don't know how you go about homeschooling, but one suggestion I have is to allow your children to have some ownership over their school work.

 

For example, for my rising 2nd grader, I will place 3 or 4 books in front of her and allow her to choose which one she wants to read as her next reader.

 

I let all of my elementary down kids pick whatever topic they want to read about for science. (We don't use textbooks for science until 7th or 8th grade.) They have nature notebooks that they record their own observations in about whatever is interesting to them.

 

I let them have some input on the direction of our course through history. We are a "bunny trail" family. When we read about something that sparks our interest, we often go off in that direction for a while and read about it in more depth. These jaunts are typically based on their interest in the topic.

 

Writing assignments can also foster their interests. Use their assignments in ways that they enjoy. If they are into fantasy, you can take a science or history topic they are studying and turn it into a "fantasy writing assignment." For example, say they are reading about plant life, the assignment could be for them to pretend to be a space explorer and he is on a mission to create a biosphere on a new planet with no plant life. He has a few precious plants with him. How is going to get them to live?

 

HTH

[Sweetpeach]

Momof7, I really enjoy reading your ideas.

 

Our hs is pretty self-motivated and our only hard&fast rule is no screens Monday - Thursday.

 

They read what they want; they both enjoy the mommy-kid part of school. The sitting down together and working it through . . . Our school time is lovely. We rarely butt heads, graceful with each other when we're a little off and I've learned over the years that busy kids = happy kids.

 

Part of my struggle is getting myself to the next level of self-discipline. We happily did school right up until the middle of June and I celebrated that victory. (It was a huge victory). The littles are getting bigger and I absolutely want to do right by them. Right now, it takes us all morning to get Math, spelling, LL, GWG finished. We do history/science in the afternoon which makes us feel busy. More school means more teacher-time means less time for me, the Mr, the house, the church and friendships.

 

I love teaching and learning beside my kids. I want to turn up the heat (so to speak) in an age-appropriate manner so that we continue to be challenged and stretched in our learning without me becoming a "do this now - do that now" teacher/mother. After our testing results, I'm also convinced that the teacher has to teach and stay plugged in. I've been laissez-faire about a few subjects and it burned us.

 

Now, if I could only learn to multi-quote so I could respond to Nan in Mass. :)

 

Love, T

[Colleen in NS]

It's the "making them do it" part that my heart really struggles with.

 

Are you afraid they are going to balk at doing grammar with you?

 

Right now, it takes us all morning to get Math, spelling, LL, GWG finished. We do history/science in the afternoon which makes us feel busy. More school means more teacher-time means less time for me, the Mr, the house, the church and friendships.

 

This makes me think that you already "make" them do certain things that you think are important, and there are things that you think you *should* make them do, but don't really want to because they take time away from other things you want to do, or you aren't convinced that they are important for your family. ?

 

I only have two kids, and I find it takes me all morning (3 hours or so), 4x/week, to teach those same skills you mentioned in the bolded part (plus writing) in the way I want to, so it doesn't surprise me to hear it takes you all morning, either. I bet you are doing a really good job when you sit down and "work it through" with them.

 

And I was "doing history/science" in the afternoons, too, but got tired of feeling like I was an all day teaching machine. I was also still feeling like I wanted my kids to have some down time in the afternoons to read/play, and for me to start teaching them other things like cooking, baking, or to go to the park or have friends over or whatever. So I've sort of given up having solid "history teaching" or "science teaching" in the afternoons - I switched over (recently) to incorporating *their* history/science/lit. reading into the morning writing skills sessions. It takes much less time, requires my intense teaching only in the mornings, it's more enjoyable for them because they don't feel like they are "reading for schoolwork", and it leaves afternoons for them to read, me to read/sleep/catchup. Around mid-afternoon we can do science experiments or they finish up anything leftover from the morning (undone math problems or sentence diagrams or Latin exercises or putting dates on a timeline - things that don't require *my* full attention - well, I s'pose the experiments do, but they only happen once a week or every two weeks or so, LOL). Then they can go play or we can go for a walk or something until time for me to get supper. Before bedtime is when I read aloud to them, so that doesn't come much during the day anymore, and it's more enjoyable because I'm not rushing the nice read-aloud to get to a writing lesson or something.

 

All that to say, that maybe if you can get those things that *you* deem to be "must do" skills in in the mornings, where it sounds like things are already going well, you can cut yourself some slack on "teaching history/science/lit" and let them at it through their own reading times. ? If it's incorporating something new (such as a different way of working through grammar) that is making you worry about relational problems, would M be old enough to understand if you spell out your reasons for doing it? Maybe if you can get him to understand those reasons, you can point back to that understanding when you run into balking, so you don't worry so much about relational problems. (I'm finding logical thinking to be a handy tool these days with my 11yo!)

 

I've been thinking lately that as long as I can keep on top of my kids *skills* learning, then academics might not have to take so big of a chunk of time in the day. Nan seemed to touch on that, with making sure her kids have academic skills so her kids can teach themselves what they want on into adulthood.

 

Now, if I could only learn to multi-quote so I could respond to Nan in Mass. :)

 

If you mean that you want to break up Nan's message into multiple parts so you can reply to each part: Click the reply button on her post. When you see her post on your reply screen, pick parts that you want to reply to, then copy and save the blurbs in brackets that surround the whole post - use those (one at a time) to enclose each part that you want to reply to. Then you reply in between the enclosed sections. Hope that makes sense. You are basically enclosing parts you want to quote between the brackety things, and making your reply outside the brackety things.:D

 

Or, if you mean that you wanted to quote Nan plus others in the same post, click the button with the quotation mark in it - to the right of the quote button. It should turn red. Click that button on each post you want to quote in your reply. When done choosing posts to quote, click "post reply" at the top left or bottom left of the screen. I was so excited when I finally figured this out!

Edited July 8, 2009 by Colleen in NS

[Nan in Mass]

When my children were younger, we did basics Mon. through Thurs. (took us until 2 to get through them - sigh) and then on Fridays, we did math first thing in the morning, then history for the rest of the morning, and then science on Friday afternoons. It was the only way I could fit it all in without getting rid of some of the things like music. I, too, worked with mine and I found that by afternoon, I just didn't have much concentration left. Another thing we did was put in the afternoon. That left us more time to do things in the morning. That worked because I was never a bit tempted to skip math LOL, even when it landed in the afternoon. Other things seemed more skippable (my own fault). I have to work at keeping myself working. It doesn't just come naturally, unfortunately. I also have taken the most fun books from the reading lists and had my children read them during the summer. That gives us more time. And I follow the public school schedule. That boosts my self-discipline and keeps me from worrying. If the town has school, so do we.

 

It sounds to me like you are making the transition we all have to make as our children get older and need to work a little harder. Just don't raise all your expectations at once. Add in the harder work like grammar one subject at a time, one each season or each semester. I discovered that the hard way. Groan.

 

If it makes you feel any better, I just spent the last four years reading aloud great books with my high schooler and middle schooler. We did it curled up in front of the fire with the dog and cat, or on the dock paddling our feet and watching the fish eat bread crumbs. It was lovely. We did Latin sitting in a row on the loveseat with me in the middle holding the book. It got squishier as my boys' shoulders grew wider and in the end, I wound up sitting sort of sideways. We had our disasters and our off days, but in general, it didn't feel all that different than when they were little. It certainly didn't feel any more adversarial. If anything, it felt less so because they had more of their own goals defined and could see better how the daily schoolwork related to them.

 

-Nan

[Nan in Mass]

And you might like to look at this thread: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=113320