Co-op problem - how would you handle this.

[Pip]

My oldest 12 is meeting with 2 of her friends to discuss History Odyssey every Friday. We meet in a room at a local bookstore. The room is free. The idea is that the moms would take turns reviewing the lessons with them. One of the girls is gifted. The mom has her in classes at a local university. She is very hands off on the kids' education.

 

We have met 4 times. Last week the gifted girl's mom wanted to either not meet or meet later in the day because they were picking strawberries. It was this mom's turn to teach and she did the teaching at her house. This morning I got an email from her saying they had company in town and decided to go on a field trip instead of meeting. (The meetings are only an hour.) When I told my dd that this family would not be meeting she said "Why bother meeting? You can't have a good discussion with just 2 people." I agreed. We all went to the zoo instead with 2 other families.

 

We aren't quite sure what to do about this situation. The other family and I are not very inspired by the lack of consistency here. This woman is also wanting to do 2 lessons a week so they can just "get it finished with." That is not why we are studying this. Plus, her dd told me she didn't want to do 2 lessons a week and she doesn't always have her assignments completed.

 

Mom is Chinese and I wonder if there is a cultural disconnect. I also feel that her not getting involved in the nuts and bolts of schooling is making it difficult for her to understand we can't just skip class on a whim. I also wonder if she is just stretched too thin. She has not shown herself to be too sensitive to others. She once said that she didn't understand why people go depressed - if things were bothering them they just shouldn't think about them.

 

Any advice?

[newlifemom]

I think you should muddle through this current session as best that you can. For the next time, I would set up some ground rules/expectations/goals which would include all meeting dates and how postponements would be handled. Your daughter is correct, the best way to have a socratic discussion is with many voices, not two. I am sorry that it isn't working out so well. My guess is that both mother and daughter are stretched too thin and you could very well be correct in a difference of understanding between cultures. I hope things work out for you.

 

 

 

 

ETA: I am thinking of a Bible study dh and I participated in once. If you had not completed the week's work, you were welcome to attend, but could not participate. I like that thinking. However, you would probably need more that 3 people for such a study.

Edited May 29, 2009 by newlifemom

[LaxMom]

It has been my experience, over the past four years of our own co-op, that some people are just not engaged.

 

Two years ago, we had somebody who signed her daughter up for a book discussion, and never obtained the book - despite weekly reminders - for the full eight-week session.

 

We had somebody sign up to teach a class (again, 8 weeks of classes), teach one week, go on vacation (covering that week), and then just decide to extend their trip another couple of weeks. And not let anyone know. And not understand the issue when we called her on it.

 

Yeah, there are some people who sign up for things, but never actually commit, and can't seem to understand what the issue is when they leave everyone hanging. We generally nudge them toward the door.

[newlifemom]

Yeah, there are some people who sign up for things, but never actually commit, and can't seem to understand what the issue is when they leave everyone hanging. We generally nudge them toward the door.

 

 

:D

[FlockOfSillies]

If you can't get more kids in the group, then my advice is to drop it. Muddling through will mean a lot of time wasted schlepping and prepping w/o much to show for it. Cut your losses now.

[Garga]

Cultural.

 

Tell her straightforward without simpering what the expectations were:

 

"When we started this we agreed to :

One chapter a week.

Each adult takes a turn leading.

No canceling except for medical emergencies (this was probably an unspoken agreement, but inferred in American culture.)

 

Are you still interested in pursuing the discussions?"

 

If she is, keep going forward with the rules being followed.

If she doesn't follow the rules, stop the meetings.

If she isn't interested, stop the meetings.

[sheryl]

Hi. I just started a co-op and "learned" under a woman who is director on the opposite side of town. I started one on this side as I live in a large homeschooling city and we all want things close by....drive 15 minutes to a co-op once a week vs. 1 hour!!!

 

I founded and am directing this co-op here. I started a local yahoo group. For people who are COMMITTED to the co-op they may join the yahoo group which is a communication forum for co-op members.

 

We meet in a church. We have a small fee we collect. Monies go to rent at $150.00/month for 14 rooms and for teacher supplies. For one child the cost would come to $40/session....there are 2 sessions.

 

I say all of this because you have to have COMMITTMENT. There is a policy that in the 9 dates of classes in one session if you miss more than 2 dates, then don't bother registering because it makes a kink/chain reaction everywhere else....substitute teacher and supplies are bought based on a certain head count.

 

I would suggest all you Moms meet and do an "intervention" style of communication. Explain to her that she is not respecting each individual Mom and child, nor the co-op itself by her selfish and impulsive decisions. OK, I word it differently, but you get the idea.

 

Make a calendar....everyone gets a copy...of who teaches when. If they miss out on so many dates in a "period of time" they are out.

 

YOU MUST communication the guidelines upfront so that the responsibility lies with that person to follow the rules or not. If they don't you have an out of asking them to leave because they knew the rules up front and they willingly went contrary to them.

 

HTH. Sheryl

[bettyandbob]

I would let her know what the expectations were from the beginning, muddle through the final bit of this academic year. And then not involve this family in a class like this again. I might include the girl in social events or invite her to participate in field trips. If the mom asks about classes, state that only people who can commit to consistently participating in the agreed upon class set up.