Potty training problems...any suggestions?

[Katiebug_1976]

My dd turned 2 in November, and we started potty training right after. It didn't take long, and she had the hang of it! She was totally independent, even making it through the night and staying dry. She would go by herself, turn the light on/off, and needed no help. This continued for about 3 weeks, then all of a sudden she just stopped trying! It seemed like we were just about back in diapers. Everything I tried just didn't seem to make a difference. I tried taking her to the potty again, thinking that mabye something scared her and she didn't want to go alone anymore, but not even that has helped. Now, we're still not there. She will "poop" in the toilet all the time, but she has frequent wet "accidents." I know after having potty trained 4 other children I should be a pro at this, but my other kids were so easy and just about potty trained themselves. This regression is new territory for me. DD understands that she is supposed to use the toilet and not wet in her panties. Anyone have any suggestions?

[Ibbygirl]

2 is pretty young and I think it's normal for them to go through digressions also. I think most children don't have the consistent control and mastery of their bladders to be completely trained until closer to 3. I have a son with Autism and it was a Herculean feat to potty train that kid. He's 8 years old and he still doesn't have it totally down, but one thing I learned from a class I took on how to potty train Autistic kids might be useful to you.

 

The first thing they had us do is just take data for 2 weeks and write down every time they are wet or have a bm. Then we look at the data and find their individual patterns and then start taking them to the potty 5-10 minutes before they would typically have to go (according to the data). We just say, "pee pee goes in the potty" and sit them down to go. If they go in the potty and are successful, we gave them a positive reinforcement and clapped and said good job. The positive reinforcement could be a goldfish cracker or a cookie or something like that (edible reinforcers are good because they are gone after they eat them and they have to work for them again the next time) but you could use a short play time with a preferred toy as well. The main thing was to work with their cycle and give them lots of praise and encouragement and reinforcement. If they have an accident, you just calmly say, "pee pee goes in the potty. You can try again next time." and not make a big deal out of it. I know it's kind of an elaborate program, with Autistic kids everything is so difficult for them, but maybe some of the ideas or principles will be helpful to you. :) It worked for us with much patience. :) Best of luck to you. :)

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

From what I understand, most children are not ready to be trained at 2 years of age and many are not ready until they are well into 3 years of age. My own ds was about 4 1/2 till he was mostly potty trained and still had regular accidents up until 6 years of age. We had several starts of potty training and then I would ease up for a couple of months before we would try again to take the pressure off:)

 

I did a lot of research since I was afraid that my son would never learn:)

Some tips when you try again are the following:

1. Try no pull-ups, just underwear.

2. If that does not work, try letting child run around naked, since accidents are more obvious to them.

3. Try potty chair readily available.

4. Try modeling behavior.

5. Try rewards/praise.

6. Try waiting a bit:)

 

These are pretty obvious, but my husband calls me the master of the obvious:tongue_smilie:You could also check out webmd, books from the library. It is hard for me to remember since it was about 3 years ago.

Edited May 15, 2009 by priscilla
mis-spellings

[eternalknot]

DD understands that she is supposed to use the toilet and not wet in her panties. Anyone have any suggestions?

 

First suggestion - don't stress :grouphug: even with regressions, she's won half of the battle already by realizing what needs to go where.

 

Second half of the battle is putting this realization into practice. It will help that she has older siblings to model.

 

When she wets, is it because she was too distracted and waited too long? Or is the potty just coming too quickly for her to make it to the toilet in time? You have to determine if she is ignoring her body's cues, or if she just hasn't learned yet how to accurately interpret them - once you figure that out, it'll be easier to determine how to appropriately address the situation.

 

Either way, she may simply need help with her cues at this stage. Invest a week or more logging her eating/drinking/bathroom schedule, and figure out her body. My son reliably peed within 20 minutes of consuming x-beverage, for example, so I'd potty him within that window. At home, I announce when I'm going to use the bathroom; sometimes that triggers my younger daughter to join me, realizing she also needs to go. If you spent a period of time with everyone in the house announcing their trips to the loo, it might help keep your youngest somewhat in tune with her own body cues.

 

I'm not a fan of rewards in general, but especially not for potty learning. The reward is staying dry :confused:. I realize rewards work for some personality types, but for a child who "knows" where to potty and is choosing not to do it there (it sounds like you believe your daughter's regression isn't physical or ability-related) then rewards could just become a new battleground in that she'll do it for the rewards until the newness of that also wears off (as did the newness of being able/willing to go on her own).

[4kiddies]

Mu daughter was trained by her 2nd birthday and had the same issues. For her it was she was waiting until the last possible second and then having "wet" accidents. What worked for us is I would just ask every 1/2 hour or so if she had to go rather than waiting for her to tell me that she had to go. Good luck!

[Katiebug_1976]

When she wets, is it because she was too distracted and waited too long? Or is the potty just coming too quickly for her to make it to the toilet in time?

 

 

I don't think it is coming too quickly for her to get to the potty. She had/has amazing control. We drive just over an hour to church every Sunday, and early on I was concerned that it would be too far and she wouldn't make it all the way, but even when she mentioned that she needed to go, and there was no where to stop, she would hold it until we found a bathroom (sometimes 45minutes)! Things here have gotten a little crazy with my morning sickness etc. but her regression began before I was even pregnant. So I hesitate to think that that is the reason. I guess it could be contributing, though, since it seems to have messed up our "daily schedule" for the last 6 weeks or so.

[Katiebug_1976]

Mu daughter was trained by her 2nd birthday and had the same issues. For her it was she was waiting until the last possible second and then having "wet" accidents. What worked for us is I would just ask every 1/2 hour or so if she had to go rather than waiting for her to tell me that she had to go. Good luck!

 

 

Thanks for the tip. This actually sounds just like what my dd is doing. She only has wet accidents. She will wait until she is dancing on the floor. But when I ask her if she needs to go, she says no. I guess I will just start setting the timer again and take her to the potty even if she doesn't need to go, just to try.

[katemary63]

Mu daughter was trained by her 2nd birthday and had the same issues. For her it was she was waiting until the last possible second and then having "wet" accidents. What worked for us is I would just ask every 1/2 hour or so if she had to go rather than waiting for her to tell me that she had to go. Good luck!

 

I agree with this and went even further with mine by taking them potty every couple of hours weather they wanted to or not. I would just say, "It's time to go potty."

 

About the age issue - I wonder if most people realize that most kids were potty trained much earlier in the past. My mother had us all trained BY age 2 and says that was normal in the cirlce of peole she knew. All four of mine were trained BY age 2, one daughter taught herself at age 18 months. Even my son was finished and without accidents by 22 months - even nights. (some bedwetting in boys that continues on into older years is a completely different issue. Although mine never did, I'm not including that issue in my comments.)

 

Please don't get snarky - but I would personally never let a kid go into age 3 and not be trained - unless there was some developmental delay issues. I realize every one is different. I'm just expressing my OPINION. I babysat for a boy who was almost 3 when I got him. He was not trained. His mother said he wasn't ready. I told her that I would not take the job unless she let me train him immediatly. She agreed. I told her NOT to bring me any diapers. The kid was done training within 2 weeks. No big deal. It just took someone to take the time and pay attension to him. His mom was stunned.

 

Again, this is just my opinion. I just don't have any interest in changing three year old poop! Yuck! And I honestly think just about any kid can be trained by around age 2 and at least in their two year old year. Saves money on diapers!

[KrissiK]

I generally didn't think 2 was too young to be trained. I know in the past, when cloth diapers were the norm, children were trained pretty early. My boys were trained by the time they were three. But my daughter... well, she was a different story. We tried everything that every book, and well-meaning friend and relative said, but you just can't make a kid pee if they don't want to. So, we let it go until she was about month after her third birthday and then a "crisis" happened, I lowered the boom, but she did respond well and was trained almost overnight. She is still very wet at night, but she does well during the day.