Oh, this is not me or not any of my family, but just a man I know. I'm not a hoarder, sorry if you read that into it. :)

I don't like clutter and clear it out constantly. My parents are the same. My inlaws are not. My fil is ill, so I dread the day we have to clean out his home. Because of his situation my mind has been on keeping a simple lifestyle so if I were to get sick or worse my attachments do not become someone else's burden. Anyway... Last night I was discussing real estate with an older man I know from town. He and his wife live alone. He told me (bragged, actually) that he wants to move but a home large enough in the area he wants to be in doesn't come up for sale often. He currently has a 5500 sq ft home and behind it is a 3500 sq ft workshop/office/studio. Both are full of their very much loved stuff collected over years and years. He smugly told us he still has all of his paperwork back to the '50s! He said it's getting so that they are having to either find a larger place or build another building/guest house. Each room is full. His personality is such that he measures his "greatness" in his belongings. He has one daughter. If I were in her position I think I'd be tempted to declutter with a box of matches when the time comes. :confused:

Same here! No, but the temptation has surfaced on occasion...

That child now has a permanent record for a short term discipline issue. No, I wouldn't. I'd have him pay me back half of the money he spent. Only half because I consider myself partially responsible for the situation by not keeping control of my credit/debit/banking tools.

:lol: I wish I could make this stuff up...I could probably write some great fiction! My dh says I'm a magnet for crazy.

My sil teaches at a small private school. It's a nice school from what I understand, and is part of a large church. She visited us right before school started and asked if she could look at my curriculum. We spent some time looking over all the things I use and things I don't. She liked a few things and asked if she could bring them to show her principal to see if she could purchase them for her class. Teachers are not given a particular curriculum to follow, and since there is only one or two classes per grade, the teacher usually just has a budget for her classroom curriculum purchases. She had spent her budget and needed approval for purchases for one more subject. I was told her principal likely wouldn't approve the extra without actually seeing the book in person. Of course I let her borrow the books to show. I've been asking for the books back and still haven't received them. I finally decided she'd lost them and wouldn't admit it. Last weekend we visited and asked one more time for the books. She walked to her home office to get them and I followed. She pulled the books off a stack of papers. The papers were multiple photocopies of the workbook, and a binder underneath had the name of the teacher text hand written on the spine. I asked her about it and she claimed she didn't get approval to buy the workbooks for her classroom, so she had to "make do." :001_huh: The books are from a large publishing company who mainly produces for schools. It's not a homeschool focused curriculum. She said she's going to factor this into her budget for next year since she really likes the curriculum. Part of me wants to notify the publisher, but part of me says that these kids would not be learning this if I did. And the publisher will get a sale on this next year. I know it's wrong but for the sake of the kids' education should I just let it go?

I really, really wish we had a "like" button here like on Facebook. I like/love so many of your posts!! :)

I just got off the phone with P. J did not have a sitter per her agreement with P, and on the first day of class she had to bring her kids. When P saw her kids sitting alone and acting up, she sent J to sit with them for the rest of the class and told her without childcare she could not continue teaching and her oldest could not participate unless she paid tuition (coaches' kids attend tuition free). She said J claimed we had an agreement to trade babysitting chores with one another. I've never agreed to any such nonsense, and told P as much. She knows I didn't and after talking with me will put J on probation. If she isn't in compliance by the next class she's terminated. I'm trying not to feel guilty because I know she put herself in this predicament, not me. But still...:sad: I also suggested that P watch out for other moms who may fall victim to this garbage. I'm happy with how P has taken over and handling it now, but still frustrated at how J's acted.

Otterbox Defender and Squaretrade warranty. They've both save me!

Argh! I've tried three times to post this update. I hate how this site times you out so quickly. Anyway... I had to laugh at Crunchy Amy's little red car smiley. I did drive my little red convertible, top down of course, and it turned out to be a blessing! Sorry the update got long, but it was an interesting afternoon! I dropped off the boys and was chatting with another mom by my car when the coach J walked up. She sent the kids over to me and I told her I was about to leave to run some errands, and would return in time to pick up my kids. She looked over at my car and told me to wait a few minutes while she put her stuff down inside and she'd come help me move the kids car seats over, since I didn't bring any of mine. :001_huh: I told her that would not work. She looked at me like a hog looking at a wristwatch. I said my car wasn't big enough, I didn't drive anyone else's kids around town, I wasn't going to take responsibility for her three kids while I ran my own personal errands, and I have never and will never put a 4yo in the front seat of a convertible. She stomped off. Sometime in there the other mom snuck off too! ;) After a drive to S'bucks, a trip to return library books, and a little drive enjoying the beautiful weather I went back. Half the class was over and as I walked up I noticed the director P on the playground with J's kids. She motioned me over, looking uncomfortable. I've been friendly with P for years so was okay discussing this with her. She informed me she's sorry for this awkward conversation, but since J hired me to watch her kids I shouldn't leave her stranded while I take care of personal business. I should stick to my commitments except for emergency or illness since the classes depend on the complete attention of the coaches. 'Thump' went my jaw. I explained how I've been trying to avoid watching J's kids for weeks, we have no arrangement for childcare, I have not been hired by her, I'm missing out on watching my own kids when she hoists hers on me, etc. I reminded her that her young cousin is my babysitter, and it makes no sense that I would hire someone to watch mine only to come up here and watch someone else's. The light went on for both of us when she told me a condition of hiring the coaches was that any children too young to take the class must have caretakers. :glare: She lied to get the job. We took the kids back into the class together, she sat them down in the back corner (and they actually stayed) until class ended. I grabbed my boys and left, noticing a very intense conversation between coach and director, with a few dirty looks being thrown my way. Oh well... :tongue_smilie:

Sitter is coming down the street and I have my Starbucks gold card and a full tank of gas ready! Thanks everyone for the motivation...I'll update after I do my disappearing act.

Thanks for the perspective. I will keep it in mind, but honestly I think this is more of an entitlement mindset. She's an arrogant, diva-like personality and while this serves her well in the dramatic arts, it just doesn't work in this situation. I'll involve the director if my disappearing act doesn't work but I can't make it sound like I'm apologizing. It's not my fault and I have nothing to feel sorry about, though I understand where you're coming from with your wording. Thank you!

Here's a bit of the detailed history: At the first class meeting she was there early, asked about my younger two, then explained she had to go put her things up and take roll. She asked if I could keep an eye on her kids "sitting over there" for a few minutes, and sat them away from where I was sitting. I watched them out of the corner of my eye, and shook my head when one started jumping off his chair. After about 15 minutes she came and sat with them while the director addressed the parents and the kids. I didn't agree to watch them, only to keep an eye on them while she put her bags up. The very next two class meetings we missed due to sickness. When we came back she, as she ran past me because she was running late, told me she was so glad we were back, the kids missed me being there to play with them :confused:, and sent them running over to me. After that mind numbing day I told her I couldn't watch them because they were distracting me from watching my own. The next week when she shooed them my way I shook my head and she said they'd be good for me this time and wouldn't be a distraction. It's been one comeback after another since that meeting. I've tried moving when they started acting up. The director sent her to tend to them, and she sent them to sit with me again! There is no direct or indirect way to get across to her I do not want to watch them. DH suggested I show up with a cooler of Mikes lemonade and pork skins (she's a health nut) and tell her I brought snacks to share. :D I doubt that would stop her though! :tongue_smilie:

You are all right! It's been going on for over two months, and there's no end in sight. I do plan to talk to her about it, but doing so before the class has not worked. She knows about my two other children--we have known each other for years and attend the same church. However, we do not have a relationship outside of greetings in passing, and we are not friends who help one another out and watch each others' kids. In fact, she asked about the other two at the first drama class and I told her I hired a sitter so I could participate with my older two. I can't offer the share the sitter option because there's no where for my sitter to watch my little ones without them wanting me, and my autistic son is higher maintenance so that I can't comfortably ask the sitter to take on three more. I've told her many times that I can't watch them and provided reasons (it's too cold to take them outside, I have work to do, I have a cold, they are too active for me to pay attention to my own, etc.) She doesn't take that as an answer, and sends them over with a warning to "be good so Mrs. Stacie can do her work." It's not like I've been afraid of her, she just doesn't take the hint or understand my explanations. So since hints or explaining doesn't work, I'm going to stay away at the beginning of a few meetings and hope the cold shoulder works. Missing a little is better than missing all of them, and my older boys are aware of the reasons why I have to do what I'm doing. They want my attention too. Thanks for the pep talk, I needed it!!

:iagree: I doubt leaving them home alone for that long is legal. Aside from the obvious fact that she's too young for such responsibility, I wouldn't take the chance of something happening without an older, responsible teen or adult there. Friends can bail her out, but when it comes right down to it she'll have to call 911 for some emergencies. You're putting custody of your children at risk if the police must come. Part of being a working mom is having childcare AND a backup plan. I know because I'm a photographer as well and have had to cancel appointments a few times. Is there a drop-in daycare close by? Personally I don't think the risk is worth the reward.

I agree with this. It's just hard to do. I'm just going to put on my spine clothes today and do something. It's difficult to do because she's disorganized, arrives just as class is starting, and shoos the kids over to me as she's running by. I never have a chance to talk to her. I hesitate to call her before class to tell her I'm going to leave for a while, because it seems I'm acknowledging an arrangement we don't have. :confused: I may just stay outside in my car until class starts, then leave. My boys have phones so they can get in touch with me if there's an emergency.

Yes, there's a fee for the class. I don't mind paying the fee because my boys are learning from it. I don't want to barter out of paying, I just want to be there to enjoy my boys' participation. As it is now, I don't get to see what is happening and I don't get to see what skills we need to work on at home. I do want my boys to succeed in the program, and practice is one of the biggest factors in that. Honestly, the biggest reason is that I just don't *want* to watch her kids. I want to watch my own!

My oldest two boys participate in a hs drama class that meets twice weekly for 1.5 hours. Since the meetings are regular I scheduled for a sitter to watch my two youngest boys. My idea is that this gives me a chance to watch the class and see what the boys are working on so I can help them at home. Unfortunately it's not working out that way. One of the coaches in the class has four children but only one participates in the class. She brings all four and always, since the first class, tells the three kids to come sit with me so I can watch over them. They are ages 4,3, and 1. They are not well behaved. I usually end up taking them out to the playground because they are causing such a scene. My boys finish up their class but as a teacher she stays late to straighten up, answer parents questions, etc. We have to stay around for an extra 30 minutes until she's finished, which means paying my sitter more! I've tried to get out of watching them by saying I was trying to pay attention to my kids, but she just tells her kids to sit with me and "be good" so I can watch the class. They are darlings who do no wrong in her eyes. I've brought books, coloring books, crayons, hotwheels, etc but nothing works to keep them distracted. I find it hard to say I can't watch them because I'm too busy when I'm just sitting there, but I don't think it's right of her to lean on me when I'm paying someone to watch my own two little ones. I tried to bring busywork twice to get out of it, but they were sent to me anyway and then pulled apart my knitting and popped the keys off my laptop keyboard (an expensive repair!) Any suggestions on how to get out of this babysitting role, or am I just being rude for not wanting to watch her kids and help her out? Updates on post #63 & #84

Goody-two-shoes. :glare:

:D When I read her post I was thinking "run to the mailbox."

I really don't want to quit. It gives me something to talk about on forums. :) (I'm singing the Luke Bryan song "Do I" now. :D)

Always. I guess I can be called an addict.

I don't think anyone will be offended. Most parents with teens realize the importance of allowing them time to socialize with other teens. If you need an additional chaperone or two with the activities (and honestly I'd never do anything with a larger group of kids without another adult) you may suggest to the parents with smaller children that they work out some special playtime and location for the youngers at the same time. That way a few parents can watch the youngers while you and a couple of parents do something with the teens, and all kids are adequately supervised.

Have you considered the possibility of contacting a journalist? I know this isn't always the best choice for action, but if you can work with someone who has more resources you may have a better chance of successfully contacting living shipmates and families of the deceased. Also, the journalist can chronicle the endeavor (through a book, a series of articles, a magazine publication, etc.) giving it more credibility. Best of luck with it, and prayers going out for your father.

You can have the accountant you use to do your financials (taxes, payroll, etc.) place a value on your business. Using your own attorney can appear to show bias, but using someone familiar with your business and independent can give you both a comfortable starting point. Is she open to becoming a silent partner, maintaining some ownership and enjoying some of the profit distribution but having no input into the daily decisions? If you schedule her buyout payments over a few years you can keep some of the capital in the business and you can come up with a longer term to the buyout, and share the profits with her.