zaichiki
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Posts posted by zaichiki
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Here is an example maybe more people know of as far as that fake, non authentic thing.....Michelle Duggar. That fake, sing song, soft voice that is all about sweetness and light, but you know she's preaching hell and hitting babies when the camera isn't rolling.
That fake, soft, quietness is the same kind of thing I get from certain (not all or even most) of the people the OP was talking about.
Yes! I know someone like this (although she's not a thing like Michelle Duggar). She has the fake, sing-songy, soft voice and the whole "I'm laid back about my kids and everything" characteristics, but I had a few occasions to "peek behind the curtain" and I saw/heard guilt trips, thinly-veiled threats, intimidation and yelling (all at her kids). Every time.
I felt offended because I realized she's not at all who she's projecting herself to be/who I thought she was. I felt like I was being manipulated - she wants me to believe she is someone she is not. Turns out she's not my type of friend at all. Glad to have learned it, but I also feel a bit like she was using me... or something like that... like I was made a fool? Don't know how to explain it. Perhaps I'm a bit ashamed that it took me as long as it did to figure it out. Sigh.
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Magic Treehouse series
every Beverly Cleary book
The Boxcar Children series
The Littles
Hank the Cowdog
Calvin and Hobbes
Dinotopia (chapter book series)
Thornton Burgess books
Magic School Bus (picture books and chapter books)
Lots by Roald Dahl
I think the above books were all read hundreds of times by my two boys...
And then, later, 39 Clues.
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This is for the 11 year old. He reads fairly mature (for his age) themes, though no s*xual content, please. Ds would prefer a series (the trilogy was a good start) to a single book, but he wouldn't rule out a book just because it was stand-alone.
I will check out these suggestions. Thanks for the head start on the search! I appreciate it!
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Older ds does FIRST Robotics and the theme this year has a Steampunk flavor. Younger ds, ever the older bro admirer, just read the Leviathan trilogy by Scott Westerfield. I'm looking to find him another book or series in the genre. Can you recommend one your kid(s) loved?
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Yes, and I think it's important to point out that their ingrained acceptance of abuse of women isn't specifically Russian. It is specifically patriarchal.
So... can you point out some other patriarchal cultures that have similar laws/similar way of responding at the legal or governmental level? How common would you say this response/lack of response is, worldwide? Is the American perspective in the minority, do you think?
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do you know about great pyrs?
my sil was in farm country (she had hogs). down the road, they had sheep. we saw these big white fluffy dogs wandering the sheep pastures, and asked about them.
they'll take a pyrennes puppy at about 6 - 8 weeks, and give it to a ewe to raise. the sheep aren't afraid of them because they've always been around. they're docile. . . however . . when a coyote comes around, their instincts kick in and they'll hunt it down and kill it.
some other place will put llamas in with the sheep. they have a mean kick.
here's some links:
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Great-Pyrenees-Dogs-Protectors-of-Sheep-3239126.php
http://www.sheep101.info/guarddogs.html
https://www.wellsprovidence.com/training-your-great-pyrenees-puppy-to-be-a-livestock-guardian.html
So sorry about your ewes and lambs! That sucks!
We had alpacas and one of them was a truly fab "guard paca." He'd charge the fenceline... trampled some smaller animals that got through the fence. Tried to trample our pet dog and our toddler... pretty bold. so I think there is a good chance you could find a guard llama or a guard alpaca. Contact some breeders and tell them you're looking for a guarding personality. Some of them are "just made that way." Easy to put them in with the sheep. (Just separate them if/when you grain them b/c the amount of copper in alpaca/llama feed is toxic to sheep.)
A friend of mine keeps a donkey in with his sheep and has never had a whisper of an issue. That donkey is sweet as pie to family and adores the sheep, but tolerates NO predator.
We have coydogs out here (coyotes breeding with stray dogs and they really pack up). They're bolder and more aggressive than the native coyotes. Could that be a problem by you?
Dh installed motion sensor lights (don't know if that would make a difference with coyotes as bold as yours) and those kept the foxes and raccoons away from the chickens. We also have motion-activated cameras down by the barn. Do you have someone techie enough in your family to hook up some noise-making devices to a motion-sensor? That might help.
Good luck!
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That is common in every patriarchal culture and religion, it isn't specific to Russia, not by a long shot. Where ever women are seen as possessions, as being the person in a relationship who must obey, who is need of protection, who has a 'sphere' she belongs in....
Yes: it occurs in other cultures. However, we *are* talking about Russia, specifically, in this thread, so...
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I think you misunderstood what I was getting at . .
DV is Russia is common - prosecuting it, legally going after, etc . . . get's overwhelming to the legal system where that becomes all they are doing. there are some major social issues in Russia involving crime, organized crime, drugs, alcoholism, etc. the society as a whole is dysfunctional.
Yes. This.
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Sounds like it's part of the idea that the strongest, ideal family is the two parent household with children. Doesn't matter what else is happening in that household, as long as it has two parents of opposite genders it is the ideal, strong family.
Where have I heard that before?
According to dh's interpretation (raised in Russia)...
The strong family is the one with the strong father who is in control of everything and if hitting the women/children is what is necessary for the man to be the one in control... weeeelll... it's been common in the culture for a very long time.
Adding: my dh does not share this belief, but was surrounded by it his whole childhood and among current extended family
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the Russian establishment has been trying to move the country closer and closer to a super patriarchal vision, ...
Making the physical abuse of women and children into a non-legal issue strengthens that vision.
This is what my dh says. Exactly.
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I just can't even.
Hitting ANYONE is never ok. Wife, child, husband, relative, stranger......no one.
Just FYI according to my Russian dh, it is entrenched in the culture.
He was not surprised to see a move like this. Saddened, yes. Surprised, no.
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Is it possible for her to actually be happy socially with kids that are not academically matched to her? While my son did get along with kids from his "regular" school and still has friends, it's clear that at his new school which has a more HA/GT crowd, he's finding that he has much more in common. I would hate for her to be both bored and unsatisfied with her social life. :(
If a child's interests are academic in nature, I agree. My "nerdy" ds is much happier (socially) at his "nerdy" school than he would have been at one of the more local, typical high schools.
Dd is a music nut. Turns out that most of the other music nuts at her Saturday music school are super brilliant academically. Seriously super brilliant. I haven't yet met one who was not scary smart. Just sayin'.
IME kids feel more comfortable in their own skin, socially, when they find their crowd.
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Haven't yet read the replies... but here goes...
She needs tall friends. Sorry, but it's true! It was a huge eye-opener for me as a kid. I always felt like the odd one out until I joined the basketball team (not suggesting she has to do that, but that was where I met the other tall girls). My self-confidence soared once I saw with my own eyes that I was not the misfit/monster. Even when I wasn't with those friends, just knowing they existed (in my world) made me stop hunching over when I hung out in the hallways between classes with my shorter friends. (I used to hunch over, lean back against the lockers, or sit/kneel while they stood.)
As for ballet... if she wants to go professional you should know that her height will limit her opportunities. A big part of dance is visual. Being in the dance line (or whatever it is called) often requires a certain height range. My mother had her eyes on a professional direction for ballet until she was told in no uncertain terms by her teacher that she was too tall. (She was 6 feet.) She ended up quitting -- BUT that was a LONG time ago and some things have changed. There are some taller dancers.
Good luck!
ETA: We are all tall here. My youngest was 4'4" at 6 years old (so... at her steady growing pattern of 3 inches a year, she should be around 5 feet by 9 years old). Because of my self-esteem issues related to my height when I was a kid (despite having a tall mom and a bunch of other tall relatives), I have gone a bit overboard on the "rah rah siss boom bah you are tall" thing with my girls. Heh. I'm hoping it will close the gap a bit (the gap between the negative comments they hear from others/friends/strangers and having a normal self-concept).
Additionally, no matter where you are politically, both the exiting president's family and the current president's family is full of tall girls! Nice to look at those photos everywhere and point it out.
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I'm sorry, but you don't know my family, the help we have received, or the circumstances we face. My children are not in "full control" of our family. If anything, we are more strict than most parents.
Oh and my "full control" comment was meant to say "full control of themselves" not "full control of the family."
Hmmm... perhaps I really was not clear.
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I'm sorry, but you don't know my family, the help we have received, or the circumstances we face. My children are not in "full control" of our family. If anything, we are more strict than most parents.
I'm not sure why you chose to comment on my family. This is not even my thread.
Families with non-neurotypical children face unique challenges that most people tend not to understand. OP, if you want advice from people who have BTDT, you might consider posting on the Learning Challenges board instead.
Sorry for being unclear. I meant the "you" as a plural, non-defined. I was intending to respond to the OP, but also to your specific advice to the OP, NOT to your specific family situation. You are right: I do not know you. BTW I am one of the BTDT parents. (You wouldn't know that, though.)
ETA: Constantly breaking internet-capable device (cell phone) rules is a VERY common teenage behavior nowadays. I have had a number of IRL discussions with a number other parents about this very thing. I have noticed a pattern: those who keep experiencing the issue over and over are the ones who take the phone away for a few days or a week and then give it back. Over and over and over. I am not meaning to say "bad parent!" but "hey, here's a pattern and here's something that worked."
My dd attends a Saturday music school with MANY, MANY teens. Some of them do not have cell phones. It is interesting to talk to the parents and share experiences. Some clear patterns emerge.
What has worked for someone might be a thing to try. Anyway, take it or leave it, obviously YMMV.
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This is a hard one. I usually change plans several times for each child.
Ideas right now --
14 y.o. (will be 10th grader)
Math: Algebra II with Lial at home
Science: a dual enrollment class at our state flagship
History: continued at home using Well-trained Mind, Sonlight, and Great Courses
Language Arts: probably an outside class
French II: definitely an outside class
Music: continuing at the pre-college division of the conservatory
11 y.o. (will be 6th grader)
Math: finishing up Beast Academy and then maybe an online AoPS Pre-Algebra class
Science: no idea
History: continuing at home with Well-trained Mind and Sonlight
Language Arts: continuing with Vocabulary from Classical Roots and of course adding something else... don't know what yet
Latin II: not sure yet... using Ecce Romani now... maybe an online class... Henle? Wheelock?
need to find him a rocketry club
basketball and swimming
7 y.o. (will be 2nd grader)
Math: Singapore Math and adding Beast Academy
Science: no idea
History: Well-trained Mind and Sonlight
Language Arts: All About Spelling and...
a modern language (French?)
violin lessons and orchestra
basketball and swimming
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When we were at Disney Orlando, our kids were 13, 10, 7, and 3.
Magic Kingdom: The 13 y.o. was mostly bored. In Adventureland, he ONLY liked Pirates of the Caribbean. In Frontierland, only Thunder Mountain Railroad. In Liberty Square, only the Haunted Mansion. Tomorrowland was the biggest hit because he would try THREE rides: the Speedway, Space Mountain, and the Buzz Lightyear Spin. When we took youngest to Fantasyland (which she adored and would have spent all day) he went back to Tomorrowland. Magic Kingdom was the most difficult of the four parks for us because the four kids each only liked a few things -- all different things -- so we kept splitting up. We must have walked many, many miles that day! (If I went back with my younger kids, I would want to take this in two days for sure.)
Hollywood Studios was the biggest hit for the 13 and 10 year olds. Themed rides and attractions they enjoyed!
ETA: My crew are Star Wars and Indiana Jones fans -- those attractions were a thumbs up. They REALLY liked the Toy Story Mania. 7 year old did the Jedi Training -- oh my goodness he was living a dream! Now that I think of it, it's probably only a one-day park, but still a magical day for my kids.
We all enjoyed Epcot/World Showcase, but we paced ourselves and nibbled "around the world" for lunch/dinner. This was a huge hit with the kids b/c we bought something to eat at every country and let them pick (then shared everything). We hardly ever eat out, so... very exciting. Plus all of the interesting things to see and do at each country... It was a blast! Everybody except the 3 yr old loved the rides in Future World. We could have easily done 2 days at Epcot.
Animal Kingdom was not as much of a hit. We spend a lot of time in big zoos, so this one wasn't as impressive... found Epcot more detailed and interactive as far as cultural exposure and Hollywood Studios better for rides/attractions... The day we spent here at AK was the least exciting... I would skip it next time. (Although the 10 year old, now 14, STILL remembers the Expedition Everest ride in Asia! For some reason she just fell in love with it and rode it over and over many times. She IS the roller coaster lover in the family. She's since been to Universal, though, and would choose the rides there over Disney any day.)
ETA: My oldest does NOT like roller coasters and, although he's accompanied us to Universal Studios, he does not enjoy it very much. :( The rest of us had fun!
Good luck finding the right balance for your family! Enjoy your vacation!
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Yup 28 waist &33-34 inseam. I have bean poles! I will look into Seven & All Mankind. Thanks!
American Eagle, LandsEnd, Old Navy --
Ds is 6'4" (17 y.o.) and we cannot find any 36 inch inseam pants for him in any store. Everything has to be purchased on-line. That's okay: go into store, try on various styles with 34 inch inseams, find one he likes, go to counter and ask them to order pants in 36 inch inseam for in-store delivery (or often they will send to the house free shipping).
His favorite pants right now are the American Eagle slim fit. After months of CrossFit he now has a 32 inch waist. Wahoo! This makes it easier. For a few years he was the 28 or 30 waist and 34 inseam you mentioned above.
For all interested parties: you can find 32/36 online in many brands.
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:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I know it's hard. My child has also always looked for the loopholes in rules and gets up at night to do things that he shouldn't. I do think the night-time issues are related to his ADHD, but just knowing that doesn't solve the problem. We still have to figure out strategies to deal with the issues, and it's really difficult as a parent.
I know that I can do better as a parent, but I also know that it is not my fault that DS has these issues. It is not your fault, either, although some of the posts in this thread have suggested that it may be. That's not to say that we can't learn how to manage things better or differently as the parents. But we didn't create the problem. We are just struggling to find the best ways to deal with it, and it can be heartbreaking and exhausting.
I think that if the kids are *looking for the loopholes* and *trying to argue points with you* it seems that they may be in full control and are choosing to disregard the rules.
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I don't want the electronics in my room. For many reasons but the two biggest are I am a very light sleeper and if I get woken up I have a hard time getting back to sleep. So, if the devices aren't totally powered off for whatever reason I am the one to suffers. Drs. Orders I am to get more sleep at any cost, nonnegotiable. Second is my husband is usually still asleep when they are up in the AM. I don't want him woken up by someone (even me) rummaging around in the dark to get devices. I also don't want the kids coming in and out of my roomEven if there was a spot for them to charge in my room, which there isn't. We could lock them I the office but I don't think my husband will go for that because he'd be the one that has to lock/unlock the office all the time. Even if he agreed I doubt he'd be consistent about it.
I won't lock the door. I sleep with the door open because said child will decide to get up at midnight to watch TV or play Xbox or cook and I need to be able to hear him so I can shuffle him back to bed.
I agree I need to figure out where to put these devices where he can't get to them but I can't picture the logistics. If they are In a locked room and daughter has to leave at 5 am I don't want to get up at 5 to get her devices. I a trying to make the rules the same for both because if I don't then he claims unfairness blah blah blah.
Several years ago my ds was gifted a tablet device (no cell phone). The rule was that he had to leave it downstairs (it could be plugged in for charging) in the kitchen. We told him if he snuck it out he would lose it. Period. He did have to test that and went without the tablet for a couple of months (twice). It didn't kill him.
Right now he has no tablet (it broke and we won't replace it). If he needs to use a phone, we have an extra old "dumb" phone he can use to call us for rides/text friends in a pinch, etc. Ds has learned to carry it around on days when he thinks he might need it. He is a senior in high schoool now, attending a brick-and-mortar school. He spends three mornings a week on a college campus, often heads to school at 6am for CrossFit and/or stays after school until 7pm during the Robotics season, all *without* a smart phone.
We all managed, way back then, without one and I'm convinced it's better for their problem solving skills, self-confidence, and ability to cope with unexpected situations *without* a smart phone. I promise you your ds will be able to function without internet access (home computer or school computers are available for necessary school work). He might be like my ds and NEED that consequence (a real one, not just a couple of days) to take you seriously and respect your rules. He CAN do it. He's just choosing not to.
(So the end story is that we can trust our ds to leave the internet-capable devices downstairs and not bring them up into his room, but it DID take real consequences to get to this point and we had to be willing to be "harsh." We were not willing to lock things up all the time to keep them from our kids. The most important thing for us was to be able to trust our son to respect our rules.)
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Which of the Singapore Primary Math books are you using? When I used solely Singapore, I used the textbook and workbook and then added the Intensive Practice and Challenging Word Problem books, but used them a half-level behind. You could use the Extra Practice books that way, adding in spiral review. I also used Cuisinare rods and fraction blocks and any other manipulatives I could find that would support what was being taught. Turns out most of my kids didn't need all of that, but there were definitely challenging topics here and there when I was thankful to have this stuff on hand. Take it with a grain of salt, as always YMMV. Good luck!
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As I skimmed through the first part of the article, my first thought was to check the author's ethnicity. (hear me out...)
I looked up the author's history. She was part of the desegregation movement as a mixed-race child. Many in the black community think/thought that we black homeschoolers are/were basically turning our backs on the sacrifices made to get minority students an equal education in public schools. The article reflects this mindset, and did not surprise me at all. Well, actually, it did give me a slight pause considering the strides black and other minority homeschoolers have made these years.
When I was listening on NPR, I heard the author describe her mother's intention for her daughter's education... and it struck me that her own mother was doing what she was accusing those "white people" of doing -- wanting the best education for her own children. Her mother was of the opinion that the "white school" would give her daughter the better education, and so sent her there, despite the hardship. Those neighborhood families who want their kids in the higher performing schools are wanting the same thing, and yet the author labels it racial discrimination and slams them. Are some of them racists? Quite possibly, as racists are everywhere. But could the motivation of some/many be the same as her own mother's? Quite possibly, because most parents everywhere want what is best for their children.
It struck me as odd that the author was able to connect her childhood education to her adult success, but didn't want to give her own child the same advantages...
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The author also stated in the article, "I know she's learning a lot," she says. "I think it is making her a good citizen. ... It is teaching her that children who have less resources than her are not any less intelligent than her or not any less worthy than her."
I don't need to send my kids to public school in order to learn those life lessons. Geez.
I agree. I heard the author interviewed on NPR and I thought she was NUTS.
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My girls are adventurous (and so they are interested in travel and seeing new places/having new experiences). My boys are homebodies.
First College Visit!
in The College Board
Posted
Dh took ds on a few university tours. ERAU was the favorite (for both of them). Dh was super impressed. Ds felt "at home" there and didn't want to leave. He was accepted... now we are waiting to hear back about 8 more college applications and finances will play a part in the decision-making process. Ds would be really, really happy to be able to attend ERAU.
Enjoy!