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zaichiki

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Posts posted by zaichiki

  1. Although I've always suspected that both of our boys are gifted, I never felt comfortable actually using that label until I had the testing results to know for sure (which I now do for youngest DS).

     

    ETA: He was 17 when tested, so the WAIS was used.

    Yes!  I never would have *presumed* (pre-testing) to label my kids gifted.  I feared appearing over-confident and was loathe to over-estimate my children. I didn't have enough self-confidence... it would have always been niggling in the back of my mind that I was an elitist to dare think of my kids as gifted.  The testing, though, is objective (well, not really, but a lot more so than a mother's opinion so I thought at the time) and gave me the confidence to "throw caution to the wind."  I had those scores to back up my "hubris," after all.

     

    (*I* didn't think that calling a child gifted was prideful, but I was sure others would see me that way.)

     

    Well, I never went around boasting and labeling, but it sure was nice to know that I had this piece of paper to "prove" it if anyone suggested I was prideful.  Sigh... probably my shortcoming there...

    • Like 3
  2.  

    Testing was very helpful in DS's case though. It helped me make sense of some of the quirkiness I was seeing at home. It gave me lots of courage to work with him out of the box I myself had grown up in and had struggled with every day.

    This!

     

    We did WISC testing b/c we were considering school for second grade (ds had been homeschooled all along) and I was investigating school choices, including one school for gifted kids that required test results for admission. The psychologist offered two-for-one pricing, so we went ahead and had dd (4 at the time) tested, too. Turns out they have very similar FSIQ/GAI scores, but vastly different subtest scores. The subtest scores and the psychologist's analysis of those scores gave us the most useful information. We did learn things we did not know/realize.

     

    The test results gave me the confidence to work "outside of the box" with ds.  (I had been afraid to look like I was pushing and I was too concerned about comments I was getting from others.)  The test results also gave us the determination, a couple of years later, to pursue further testing that discovered dd's ("stealth") dyslexia.

     

    Haven't had my younger two tested, but they share some blatantly obvious characteristics with their older siblings... my educated guess is that their test results, if they had them, would be similar to the older kids'.  No desire for testing right now, though.

    • Like 2
  3. It's all very interesting to me.  Someday I want to do one of those ancestry tests.  

     

    I know my side has been traced on paper - my mom's is 100% British.  My dad's is "European mutt," but mostly Prussian/German.

     

    Hubby's side is 100% British, esp Wales.

     

    Yet... two of our boys (no question at all of parentage or "switched at birth" possibilities) have darker complexions.  Middle is as Haole as the rest of us.

     

    Genetics can get interesting.

    I have been thinking of doing one of those ancestry tests, too.

     

    I have always been light-skinned and blue-eyed, like my father's family.  My husband is a freckly red-head. Two of our kids have darker skin, like my mom.  Her siblings are mostly darker-olive skinned/dark eyes and hair, like their dad, whose family is from southern Germany. When I was growing up, my grandparents had retired to FL and my grandfather always had a dark tan. Black curly hair (until it went white).

     

    So... could your kids' darker coloring be southern German DNA?

     

    ETA: "I have always been" ?!?! Duh! That's what happens when I post too late at night! lol

     

    • Like 2
  4. I am (mostly quietly) jealous. My DD is small for her age. When her precocity was evident early, I had so many parents watch her in public spaces and say "HOW old is she?" and looking terrified that their kid is behind when I gave an age. During that time, I often rounded her age up -- "nearly two!" at 18 months. It immediately caused a wedge.

    The wedge. When other parents KNOW my kids' ages, I've had similar experiences, so I understand. One time my then-6-yr-old ds brought The Hobbit to a homeschool gathering of Capture the Flag.  Instead of playing (with the 8-16 year olds), he chose to sit under a picnic table reading his book.  The. whole. time.  The other mothers sitting together at that picnic table had passive-aggressive insult/compliments to share. I was then grilled and summarily dismissed. (I sat quietly and listened to bragging about how advanced their kids were in various areas -- one brilliant kid was even multiplying in his head... at 12.) It was so "lovely." That was the last day I sat at the table with the other moms.  In future weeks I went walking.

     

    Anyway, just one more reason it's usually a gift when my kids' ages are not immediately apparent!

    • Like 1
  5.  

    He does not:

    • Grill or barbeque (or eat meat, actually)
    • Fix cars
    • Do anything involving tools
    • Do yard work
    • Drink beer (or much alcohol at all, now that he's on medication)
    • Watch or play sports
    • Have much interest in tech gadgets

    So, you can see that most of the usual "gifts for your man" ideas aren't helpful.

    Hmmm... my dh DOES grill, fix cars, do anything involving tools, do yardwork, and has much interest in tech gadgets, BUT it doesn't make it any easier to choose presents for him... especially stocking stuffers... I'm going to read this thread and hope for some ideas, myself!

  6. We have the opposite problem, as in my 8yo is very good at things for her age, but because she is so tall, people assume that she's 10 or 12, and aren't impressed! I'd love to have a tiny child so that people would be in awe LOL

    I have 4 tall-for-their-ages kids and I think all four of them are advanced in several ways... so I have experienced it, too.  HOWEVER I think it is a gift.  

     

    Why? Because people assumed they were several years older and didn't fawn over them.  It was wonderful for them to develop without getting a taste for the external validation/praise. Once a kid has that, it's hard to keep it from going to their heads. As kids get older, the ones who are used to the praise tend to keep wanting it and getting it becomes a goal for them... they worry about losing it... 

     

    When kids are younger, they tend to assume their peers are the kids who are similarly-sized. My 4'4" six-year-old girl automatically gravitated towards kids who were older (same height) and therefore working at similar levels/doing similar things.

     

    It's not like they always stuck out as different/advanced/special, YKWIM? They could just be themselves! A gift!

     

    The most advanced of my kids have developed quiet confidence, not seeking attention... And I don't have to deal with any divas!

     

    ***Sometimes being a tall child IS a cross to bear... when people have unrealistic expectations... like the time my just-turned-one-year-old was standing around by my legs at the park and another mom insisted I *allow* him some room to go play with the other kids (all 3+ year olds running around the  playground equipment).  I was a new mom at the time, though, and didn't realize that my kid's actual age-peers were the ones sitting in the strollers nearby sucking on crackers. I actually wondered why my kid wasn't running around with the others his size (3T) and questioned whether my parenting approach had made my child too shy. (smh)

     

    There's also the time my 4 yr old dd was in a music class with 5-7 year olds... the teacher expected her to sit quietly when it wasn't her turn, just like the 6-7 year olds, which she *did* do with a couple of reminders... BUT I found out later that the kids sitting in their mothers' laps to wait their turn were *all the other 4 AND 5 year olds.*   Dd WAS sitting quietly, but she had also been scolded a couple of times for wiggliness... Looking back, SO UNFAIR. She didn't deserve a scolding, but *praise* for sitting better than expected for her age!  I should have known enough to SPEAK UP.

    • Like 6
  7. magazine subscriptions

    a steel pan drum (Hearthsong has a smaller one)

    books

    a couple of card games or board games from Rainbow Resource

    funny candy/themed candy -- current favorite is snowman poop (I think it's mints)

    my boys are into sarcastic humor and gifts reflecting that, but I've been trying to ignore it in the hopes that it is just a stage 

    a big hit is a mug covered in insults from Shakespeare's plays (another is a book of popular insults used in various historical civilizations/across time)

    • Like 1
  8. yeah, you'd think so & yet is doesn't always work that way.  For one thing there's a lot of argument about what constitutes intelligence in dogs. What many people call intelligence is actually more linked to biddability, ie, how keen are they to follow your instructions. for ex northern dogs (I have a malamute mix) are notoriously independent thinkers. They're super smart but not in a way that most people appreciate. 

     

    Poodles are pranksters and since they were originally hunting dogs, can be quite independent. Labs & goldens too - it really depends. And the biggest problem with most doodle breeders is since they're breeding mutts, they often are more concerned with appearance than temperament.  

     

    I think with many of the doodles they're so hyper that they can't keep a thought in their head long enough to learn. They also have little impulse control... like hyped up preschoolers on a sugar bender. 

     

    bottom line is  - it's a mutt.  An over priced mutt.  I'm opposed to deliberate breeding of mutss on principle so this definitely biases me ....

    I get the idea of different types of intelligence in dogs. We have two bichon/poodle crosses and they're both fairly intelligent, but in different ways.  The female isn't  particularly interested in pleasing her people and has a little stubborn streak.  She's a problem-solver, though, and can figure out how to get past baby gates and up onto the kitchen counter when there are no chairs/stools in reach. Some might think she's dumb because she seems a bit slower to obey commands. The male is a huge people pleaser and, even though he CAN get over gates and up onto tables (he's a keen jumper), he doesn't even try because he understands that we don't want him to "go beyond the barrier" (even when food is on the other side... and he's a big foodie). He is quick to obey and learn new commands, and so he's a clear favorite among the humans here.

     

    We had a corgi who, I SWEAR, needed only one repetition to learn any command or behavior (and got into a LOT of trouble).  He was manipulative and smarter than a dog should be (IMNSHO).  Heh. It's too bad he used his brains for evil...  He was ADORABLE though and every human who passed him on walks looked at him adoringly. (I think it went to his head.)

    • Like 3
  9. every doodle I've met has either been incredibly dumb or incredibly hyper or both. 

     

    & I say this as the besotted owner of a slightly dim & very hyper setter. I know some people have been happy with theirs but honestly, it seems like a crapshoot to me &  if I were thinking that route I'd go for a standard poodle (from a reputable breeder or rescue of course...)

     

    Also, the doodle inventor regrets it

    Strange that a lab/golden poodle cross would be dumb... aren't labs, goldens, and poodles all considered to be among the intelligent breeds?  I would assume any cross of those breeds would inherit the intelligence of the parents...

  10. DS is in an early college high school (so he will have a two year AS degree when he graduates high school). His counselor told them to submit their transcript from the college at the same time they submit their high school transcript, so that's what he's been doing.

    Same

  11. I know a ton of teens and adults who seriously play with Legos. 

    I know a couple of adults who still play with and collect Legos... but...

    My ds and all of his buddies, who are engineering-bound, switched from Legos (which they consider their childhood passion) to Robotics a few years ago.  They still reminisce (sharing old pictures of their creations), but none of them still collect/play regularly.

  12. Ds says, if the  person is going into business, then it's the WSJ.  If they're headed for engineering, Legos.

     

    ETA: Take this with a grain of salt. Ds is headed for engineering, with a passion, yet gave all of his extensive collection of Legos to his little brother last year.  Considering this, I'd vote for the WSJ.

     

  13. Hmm...that is a possibility. Not sure if my older dog would be as tolerant of an older dog, although we could wait and do it after she passes. It's a thought. I have taken in adult dogs before, and to be honest, had a bad experience. My lovely sweet weimaraner Rosie was a rescue as an adult, and ended up with horrid separation anxiety. Too bad for me even to discuss without getting upset about how she suffered. 

     

    Obviously, that isn't always the case, but it gives me pause. 

    Our bichon/poodle crosses were adult rescues and have a little separation anxiety. (Nothing horrible.)  I wonder if it is because they "lost" their original family... They're super affectionate and there's a lot of people in this house, and at least one person is nearly always home, so it's usually not an issue.  BUT... this is definitely something to consider.

  14. I work for a dog rescue. We get a lot of owner turn-in dogs because having a dog is too much additional work when the family has very young children and/or a lot of outside activities from which the dog is necessarily excluded. It is very common that families cannot handle having both a dog and a newborn. (There are other reasons for owners to turn their dogs over to a rescue -- this is just the reason that is in first place.)

     

    From the dog's point of view, at least until we find it a great home, this is a terrible situation. They are very stressed because they have lost their families and cannot understand what is going on. The families are also very upset. It takes a rescue dog about 6 months to adjust its new situation ... regardless of whether it appears to the new owners that the dog has adjusted immediately.

     

    True, a lot of families keep the dog in this situation, and it results in there being a lot of lonely, bored, untrained dogs who have owners who feel guilty about that or who are too overwhelmed to change the situation or who don't care about their dog all that much. It is a double-edged sword. I know a lot of families (and dogs) in this situation.

     

    I advise you to wait to get a dog until your children are older. I know this is difficult. I waited until my kids were 7 years old before we got a dog, simply because I didn't think it would be advantageous to the dog or to me to add one to the mix. (I do realize that since my kids are close in age that my wait was shorter than it could have been.)

     

    My thoughts on this are based solely on what I've seen happen in nearly 3 years of working for the largest rescue in the U.S. for my breed. It is heart-breaking to deal with families that have made the mistake of adding a dog to their family at an inappropriate time. These families love their dogs, but there is a limit to the time and energy they have to devote to their dog. Everyone has time and energy limits, whether or not they have a dog or kids.

     

    I am not someone who castigates people for giving up their dogs to rescue. We always find great homes for the dogs ... but it would have been better for the families and the dogs not have been in that situation in the first place.

    I appreciate you sharing your experience on this, RoughCollie. Working in a rescue, you probably hear mostly about the "failures."  I want to share our "success" so people can hear about the "other side."

     

    We "rescued" our first dog when our oldest two kids were 5 and 2.  She came from a family down the road who had gotten her from a local rescue (they rehomed her from the streets of Puerto Rico) before they had kids (this rescue won't place dogs with families that have kids under the age of 8). They soon had a baby, but when the second baby came, mom was overwhelmed and they were looking for a new home for her.  That's how we got her.  And it was the best decision we could have made!  We kept her until she passed away last year at 14. While she was with us, we had two additional babies -- so she had a LOT of experience with newborns and toddlers in her 14 years.  

     

    A few years later, we visited that rescue and brought some donations my kids had collected.  When the director discovered how we had "inherited" our dog, she was livid and kept telling me how it was such a bad decision.  I asked about adopting another dog from them, but she refused, due to the ages of my kids. I have to admit that I felt bad for her. She was completely unwilling to accept the fact that things had worked out well for the dog and both families involved and that we would be a "good gamble" for giving a good home to another dog.

     

    I think, because the OP has lots of experience with dogs and children, the OP will make a good decision about when it is the right time *for her family* to add a dog. I think she knows all about the work involved and what she can handle. *I* personally, have added a dog to a family with a toddler AND have added two newborns to a family with a dog and had it work out well, so I must admit to having confidence that it can work for others, too, in certain situations.

     

    Good luck, OP!

    • Like 7
  15. We got a pair of bichon/poodle crosses from a rescue -- adults who had been raised together in one family their entire lives.  They are awesome with kids and so calm in the house (but energetic outdoors). Smart (but not "get into trouble constantly" smart like our previous dog, a Corgi)! They are completely affectionate and adorable and NO SHEDDING!  I've always leaned towards larger dogs, but these guys (25 lbs) captured our hearts. 

     

    If a smaller dog is not for you, how about looking for an adult golden/poodle or lab/poodle cross from a rescue? The poodle part often nixes the shedding and it sounds like you love the golden personality...

     

    Good luck in your search!

     

    • Like 1
  16. High school - as in - what classes should she take in high school?  This art stuff seems time-consuming.  Will she have time to take 4 years of math, too?  (for example)

    I can definitely chime in here.  My dd does music. 3+ hours a day, all day Saturday classes (9a-6p) in a city 3 hours from home, and regular traveling for performances.

     

    I've had these very same questions.

     

    Yes: she'll have time to take 4 years of math. And she should.  What if (it can happen) she changes her mind some day?  Or what if she gets some kind of illness or injury that makes it impossible for her to paint/draw? She needs a full education that keeps her options open, even if she doesn't think so right now.  

     

    Have you tried local colleges (community or university) for arts classes?  Can she and her mentor put together her portfolio and can you set up some meetings (you and dd) for future possibilities?  They might not take an 11 year old, but they might consider a 13 year old auditing a class with mom in tow?

     

    Good luck!

    • Like 7
  17. Ok - here's one that does annoy me. I have brown hair, dh has dark brown hair, and our two middle boys both have brown hair. Littlest ds is blonde and oldest dd is blonde. I can't count how many times I've been asked, in relation to either littlest ds or dd, "Where did that blonde hair come from?"  twenties so there must be blonde genes somewhere? 

    Oldest ds has dark brown hair, brown eyes, and tans really easily in the summers. I have light brown hair and blue eyes and don't tan as quickly. When he was about 2 we were walking in the mall and some strange wacko lady waltzed right up to me and asked me if I was "the Swedish nanny."

     

    Oldest dd has red hair and very light skin.  Unlike her brother, she doesn't tan at all. Both ds and dd are full biological siblings. One summer we went to a large homeschool gathering at another mom's house where the kids were all playing in the backyard. One mom asked me if my two kids (remember the oldest tans quickly and it was summer) were the same race.  She seriously just came out and asked me that. I was so caught off guard that I just stared at her for a moment.  (Then I answered "yes" because I was so surprised I couldn't even think of a good response.)  Seriously, who SAYS stuff like that to strangers (as if it's any of your business anyway)?!

     

    BTW My picture, up there in the left-hand corner, is those two kids about 12 years ago...

  18. Worst one was on my first day of teaching, I was in my 20s. I thought I was dressed professionally. I got asked by another teacher (who i had mwt and seen at planning meetings and such) if I had a hall pass when I was heading somewhere during my planning period. 

    The *exact* same thing happened to me my first day of teaching -- in a MIDDLE SCHOOL!  I was puzzled and embarrassed.  When I thought about it later I was angry (that I was stopped from my purpose and asked for a hall pass).  A friend offered to teach me how to do makeup to make myself look older, suggested I get a different hairstyle, AND told me to go shopping for new work clothes!  Other friends told me I would appreciate the comment as I got older.

    • Like 1
  19. have you guys seen the bookcases with the spines turned in? http://atmedia.imgix.net/8566932e5d1b23d573552d06dce45badb0d42f17?w=800&fit=max

     

    my bookcases are organized by subject and alphabetically so I could actually do this & still find pretty much most things but it looks wrong LOL 

    Eh... I dunno... I think that setup invites even MORE curiosity. It looks so different, it just begs for people to start touching/rifling through...

  20. My dd's class uses this one. https://www.amazon.com/Concise-Introduction-Harmony-Poundie-Burstein/dp/0393600467

    It is probably written for college students, but is clear enough for younger students to understand with a teacher's help.  (Dd's class includes musically talented kids ages 10+.)

    I don't know if it starts at "the beginning," though dd's class (not a first year class) started somewhere in the middle of the book.  I don't know if there is a solutions key...

    Good luck!

     

    And once more...

     

    Here is one of the authors talking about the book/approach.

    • Like 1
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