luuknam
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Posts posted by luuknam
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I'm not sure I'd go with a full curriculum for K math. I've got a few workbooks from the dollar store or from Barnes & Noble. My one qualm with subtraction workbooks is that I didn't notice that some of them will show an equation like 3-2=1 by pictures of e.g. 3 apples - 2 apples = 1 apple. I don't get that. Visually, that does not make things easier for me, and I doubt it makes things easier for little kids. I much prefer books that show 3 apples with crosses through 2 apples = 1 apple.
I also do things like add up both sides of the domino when putting dominoes down while playing dominoes, or (skip) counting while we're walking to the playground. My 4yo counted to 579 yesterday before he got too tired (regular counting, not skip counting). I have a few (er, dozens of) apps on my phone related to addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, fractions, geometry, etc. They can be used while waiting in a long line at the supermarket or the kids will at times do them spontaneously when given the phone to play with. You can also give kids rulers to measure everything around the house, and do surveys of their friends and family and make simple bar charts or w/e (what's the most common favorite color?), or line graphs for e.g. temperature outside etc.
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My 7.5yo will go to a week long overnight camp in the woods with the YMCA, and the same week 4yo will go to a week long day camp at the local YMCA. The 7.5yo will also go to a week long day camp at the science museum a few weeks later, learning about things that live in the oceans, including doing some dissections of sea creatures, and the same week my 4yo will be going to a week long day camp at the science museum as well, learning things about water and playing at the water table. So those two weeks are going to be my sanity breaks for the summer and are already paid in full. I'm still considering if I want to do a camp the first week of September (the last week of summer break), or not. There are fewer choices for that week, and I don't know yet. I'll probably decide on that in August, if there's still place somewhere we like, and we decide we're willing to spend the money, and if not, oh well.
They will both continue their TKD classes during the summer, as those are year-round and they're each supposed to attend 2+ times a week. I'll probably have them in swim lessons as well, but it's too early to sign them up yet (they're currently taking swim lessons, so it would make sense to continue during the summer, whether through lessons or just going to the pool).
I'll probably start working on phonics with my oldest again. He also wants trumpet lessons, so we may give those for his birthday in August, which means he may start those in August (but we'd still need to find a teacher - I don't know anything about trumpets other than that they're not *my* first choice, but he's been talking about trumpet for over a year now).
Other than that, not sure yet. Summer break here doesn't even start until the end of June anyway.
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Wait, people leave? :p
"You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!"
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People get gifts for graduating high school? Wish I'd known about that. I think my grandparents maybe gave me the equivalent of $10 each or so. Other people? No. But, just in case, if I ever graduate college, you're welcome to PM me and I'll make a registry and y'all can send me presents! :)
P.S. I'm not from the US, so I know that doesn't count. But I now live in the US (and have for the past decade), and I haven't heard of high school students getting gifts from everybody. A registry makes sense if you're in an area where everybody is giving gifts that costs more than a trivial amount (like, more than $5 or $10).
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Even more interesting, the 25-75 percentile GPA was 3.20 - 3.86. I find it incredible that the 25th percentile has a 3.20 GPA!
It's called grade inflation, and it *is* nuts. My GPA when I graduated the pre-university track of high school in the Netherlands was 7.48 (out of 10), which was a *good* GPA. To give you an idea, to get into medical school in NL, there is a lottery. Medical school is a 6-year program right after the pre-university track of high school. If you have a GPA of 8 or higher (out of 10 - all high school GPAs in NL are out of 10) you don't have to do the lottery and are automatically admitted to medical school. With lower GPAs, your lottery odds are weighted - the between 7.5 and 8 you've got better odds than between 7.0 and 7.5, and that's better than between 6.5 and 7.0, and that's better than less than that. I didn't want to get into medical school, or I would have worked harder and made sure my GPA was at least 7.5, but I got really close anyway. Not many kids have GPAs that high. It's one reason I didn't want to spend the money to have my high school diploma translated - too easy for Americans to think a 7.48 GPA on a 10 point scale is like a 2.99 GPA on a 4 point scale. It really isn't. I took the GED instead (cheaper) and got perfect scores on 3 out of the 5 sections, and very high scores on the other 2. I took the SAT and got 720 on verbal and 720 on math.
GPAs are pretty meaningless if everyone has a GPA over 3.0.
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Parents shouldn't have to ask for communication. It should be automatic, because, you know, they are the parents.
Oh, I don't disagree. A certain level of communication has to happen, regardless. I'm not sure where to draw that line - I think it's dependent on the group, culture, etc. But there is no need to argue about that, because the parents *have* asked for communication.
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My 7.5yo said "I hate you" to me earlier this year, and I didn't really care, to be honest. It's pretty normal for kids to say stuff like that while angry, so I didn't take it personally. I suggest you don't take it personally either.
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Also wanted to say that there is zero need for trips out to eat with no warning after services. If a couple of the teens say, "hey, we want to all go get breakfast together" the LEADER should say, great idea, lets plan that for next week.
I know that when I was young sometimes the youth staff took kids to breakfast on a schoolday, before school. But they arranged it ahead of time.
True, but I don't think you *have* to run things that way. I'm okay with a more go-with-the-flow kind of style (especially if that's how that church works, which Slipper only joined in January). But it's super easy to text parents who request to be texted. Refusing to do so is just crazy. Maybe YP's innocent and thinks mom's being a helicopter parent. But then talk to her about it, rather than coming up with lame excuses for not texting her.
Whichever way I spin this, it's just not good. As in, bad enough I'd leave and not let my kids be part of any group he's leading, even if they put in some additional safeguards.
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I also think there's difference between a tutor and a youth pastor. A tutor is not really an authority figure any more than any random adult. If the tutor tries something they shouldn't, it would be a lot easier (presumably) for the teen to not go along, and to tell his/her parents. The tutor can be replaced, doesn't give grades that matter (unlike school teachers), and doesn't have god backing them* (unlike youth pastors). The boy scouts' policies are good in a way, but they can be overkill if applied to all situations. I'd think the boy scouts have very rigorous policies because they have a history of scandals that they have to overcome. If you have a track record of inappropriate behavior you're going to have to try harder than if you don't. I bicycled to my violin teacher's house alone when I was a teen. She gave me violin lessons. I don't think my parents ever even contemplated the possibility of her trying to do anything inappropriate (and she didn't).
*Wasn't sure how to phrase that, but you get the idea, right?
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FWIW, I'm not real fond of the legalistic culture that exists, requiring permission slips etc for everything. For example, on the first day of 2nd grade, my son's 2nd grade teacher messed up and almost put him on the wrong school bus. By the time she realized her mistake, the correct school bus was gone. So, my son's 1-1 aide took him to the front office, and they called me to see if I could pick him up. No, I couldn't, at least not in under about an hour, since I didn't have a car. I asked, since his 1-1 aide was waiting there with him, if she could drive him home (she was his 1-1 aide in 1st grade as well, so I already knew her). They said that she'd offered to also, but that no, school rules, not possible. So, they eventually got ahold of the bus driver, and once she finished her route she picked him up from school and drove him home, after he'd sat in the front office for 40 min with his aide. I'm annoyed at stuff like that.
That said, any guy in his late 30s with kids *knows* we live in that kind of culture, especially if he is a p.s. teacher. I can understand purposely trying to not go overboard with legalistic stuff, even if it increases liability a little, especially if you're dealing with a fairly small group where you feel people can trust each other, like maybe a small church (as opposed to the anonymous, bureaucratic monster a big public school district is, which just requires more policies and procedures). BUT, that requires a small group where people trust each other, which means good communication with everyone. Not communicating with parents after they've asked for communication does not fit with that. Either you run things rule-based, or trust-based, or both. But you can't ditch both the rules and the trust. The only reason you'd try is because you're purposely trying to do things you shouldn't (or you're a complete moron who shouldn't be in charge of anything, let alone kids).
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There would be no "lol j/k" for the literal meaning if you ask me
There would if he was being sarcastic, because trampoline jumping is for little kids.
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okay - the reference to the tramp. I guess I need to see the context. I admit I took it at face value, as in meaning a trampoline. I know with texting many words are shortened and sometimes nothing more than symbols. I guess it could be a sincere jumping on a trampoline (which kids, even teens, like to do for completely innocent reasons) or a sexist guy wanting to see girls books bounce. (and those are guys who do NOT need this stupid leader as their youth minister. they would do better with someone much more conscientious of their spiritual growth.) for me, there isn't enough of the beforehand to know which one it was referring to.
I read it as a joke about jumping on a homeless person (see my ETA). Of course, I don't have any more context than you have. But since the OP said this was an example of texts she saw, I'm going to assume that with a pattern it would be clear that at least *some* of the texts are inappropriate, even if this particular one might have been from a kid excited about jumping on an actual trampoline (but really, older teen boys are not that excited by those in my experience).
To Slipper's daughter:
I'm 30. I sometimes get overwhelmed (because being a grown-up can be stressful - too many responsibilities!!!!) and unwilling to figure out stupid technology stuff, even though I should be able to (I've aced a few programming classes in college, which aren't all that applicable to texting on a phone, but just to say I'm not a luddite). But even if I had a list of parents to text and a list of kids to text and didn't know how to merge them, and felt too overwhelmed to figure it out, if a parent asked me to text her details of activities for her daughter I'd just type out the texts twice, once for the first list, once for the second. Because it's just that simple. We're not talking about essays here. Refusing to send a text/email/communication to parents with the planned activities is rude.
I'm not sure how I feel about the driving to a different city when the group was supposed to be at church, but the fact that it was an 80 mile round trip at 1am makes it a definite no. Tired drivers are as bad as drunk drivers. There are plenty of studies that show that to be the case (and I was a truck driver for a while... I can tell you from personal experience that tired driving is not a good thing, I shouldn't have done it, and I got lucky I never was in an accident). Would it be okay for him to drive you around drunk? No. So a spur-of-the-moment trip without parental permission at 1am would be the same (never mind that most of the *other* drivers driving at that time are likely to be both tired and drunk).
I'm trying to give my kids a fair amount of independence. I let my HFA 7.5yo go to a 4 night YMCA camp an hour from our home last summer (when he was almost 7), and again for 2 nights in the winter, and he'll be going a full week this coming summer. My 4yo has been to sleepovers at the daycare he attended 1-2 days a week, at the YMCA, and at the house of a former daycare employee who started her own in-home daycare. My 7.5yo stays home alone for short periods of time, and walks to the bus stop alone and back (which would be perfectly normal if it weren't for the high-functioning autism part - my younger son will probably be allowed to walk about outside alone at a younger age than that).
I spent a year in Thailand as a foreign exchange student right after I graduated high school, so I was legally an adult during most of that year. But I listened to my host parents when they didn't want me to do certain things because of safety concerns. Because they were older and I didn't have experience with Thai culture. I did disagree a few times, but mostly after I'd been there for at least 3 months. I know that you're not in a foreign culture, but you're also much younger and the point remains that your parents have a lot more experience and are trying to protect you. I'd suggest you listen to people who are trying to protect you unless you have a very good reason not to. Some parents are overprotective, and I'd suggest they think hard about how to get their kids ready for independence at 18, not because you have to kick your kids out when they're 18, but because at 18 they have more opportunity to do whatever stupid thing they decide to do.
But in this specific situation, I think that youth pastor is throwing up too many red flags, and this is not a case of your mother being overprotective. I think y'all found a good solution btw in asking a group of unbiased strangers ;) for their opinions. As you become older, you *will* end up relying more on other people's opinions and less on just those of your parents. That's normal and fine. What's not normal and not fine is when a youth pastor is trying to get you to switch from listening to your parents to listening to him. As you get older you should get to a point where you listen to a variety of opinions, and think about them, and draw your own conclusions. Parents can still be great sources of advice. And it can be tricky to know when you have enough experience to draw your own conclusions and when you should listen to someone with more experience. Let me know when you find the answer to that. :tongue_smilie:
ETA: I actually thought of Hkpiano's interpretation of jumping on a tramp, but when I mentioned it to my wife, who's usually more in the gutter than I am, she didn't get it and said a tramp was a homeless person. Since she's a native English speaker and I'm not, I thought maybe I'd gotten confused. But I looked it up and tramp can indeed mean a promiscuous woman, which was probably the way the teen boy meant it.
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I'm curious what the questions for Thomas Jefferson were.
ETA: my wife finished taking the quiz as well:
Unschooling: 19
Charlotte Mason: 12Montessori: 9
Unit Studies: 6
Thomas Jefferson / Waldorf: 3
Traditional: -3
Classical: -6
ETA2: My wife just also defined her educational philosophy: a) lazy, and b) what works for the kid. At least she's honest.
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Charlotte Mason: 19
Unit Studies: 9
Unschooling / Montessori: 8Thomas Jefferson: 6
Classical: 5Waldorf: 0
Traditional: -19
I'm afraid I'm not familiar enough with all the approaches to say if I think that's accurate. I'm also still struggling with myself wrt what my educational/parenting philosophy is. Before my 7.5yo was born, I was leaning toward unschooling... but with him being high-functioning autistic and having had a major speech/communication delay I've definitely rethought that a bit. I just don't know what my final conclusion is. Tiger Mom and unschooler are still battling it out, and apparently Charlotte Mason is the result (I started reading CM a few months ago on my laptop, but I'm still in the first book - too many other things on the internet to read...).
ETA: Too many questions were of the "it depends" kind, or the "yes to the first half, no to the second" (or vice versa) kind, e.g. the Latin and logic one. Otherwise, a fun and interesting quiz!
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I haven't read the replies yet (just your update in post 64), but count me in the secular "you're not overprotective" group. It makes perfect sense to want to know when outings will be, and it's not rocket science to text you, even if there are zero worries about an adult man in an authority position texting teenage girls. At best he's disorganized and somewhat disrespectful of you. At worst... well, you can use your own imagination for that.
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I can see this happening with children that do not have a good understanding of place value. They read "five hundred three", so write 500 and tack a 3 on the end.
Well, yes. I'm just having trouble imagining that more than 1-3 kids in a typical 2nd grade classroom would have problems with that in April. Like, enough kids having enough trouble with it to warrant a note being sent home to all parents. I can totally understand there will be *some* kids at that age who have trouble with that (as with anything).
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1. Joining a co-op when my oldest were only in kindergarten. (What was I thinking?!?)
Of course I don't know what you were thinking, but I know why I have my 4yo in homeschool swim&gym and am considering putting him in homeschool science next year. Neither of those are co-ops, as they're run by the YMCA and the science museum respectively, but anyway...
1) It's a little bit cheaper than signing him up for swim lessons for every 8 week session throughout the school year, and easier since you have to register only once. :)
2) Meet people in my area who are homeschooling.
3) Socialization/get out of the house a bit (long, cold, snowy winters means not playing outside much in winter).
The homeschool swim&gym thing is working out quite nicely that way. Different age groups have class at different times, and since everyone but me has kids in older age groups my kid gets to play in the tumbling room (or at the playground when the weather is nice) with the other kids his age after his class is done. The only downside is that everyone is religious. Which is one of the reasons I'm considering doing the science thing at the science museum (hoping it will attract a more secular crowd). You only sign up for 4 weeks for that as they have different themes, but it's not that cheap (though the Y has spoiled me by being only $185 for a year of swim AND gym). I have a membership to the museum though, so I could just hang out at the museum around homeschool science time and see if I can meet some parents that way (the museum has a nice play area for the kids, so my kids like going as often as I'm willing to go anyway). I guess the reason I hadn't done that yet is because until the beginning of this month my 4yo went to daycare one day a week for my sanity, which happens to be the day that the science museum has homeschool science (which he's too young for anyway - he'll be old enough in the fall).
Obviously kind of too early to say much about homeschooling mistakes, but I'm beginning to think that I need to get on top of household chores a bit more. Part of me is like "I'm a stay-at-home PARENT, not a maid", but ultimately, it doesn't matter what percentage of housework I think I should be doing vs my wife... I'm the one spending the most time having to live in the mess. And then that negatively affects me and the kids. At least it's getting easier now that the youngest is not pulling everything off the shelves and out of the drawers *all the time*, and the oldest can do things like empty the dishwasher. Yes, time spent doing chores is time not spent doing stuff with the kids (well, depending on the chores... some do include the kids), but someone once said that a disorganized environment gets reflected in a disorganized mind (or something along those lines), and I'm beginning to think that that may be true and may be bad for the kids (not looking for a neat-freak environment/OCD mind either).
Another mistake of mine (although more applicable to my 2nd grade PS kid), is getting too worried ahead of time. Trying to learn that I don't have a crystal ball, and that we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Whatever that bridge is. Although it relates to homeschooling, because probably the main reason I didn't send in the letter of intent to homeschool him last summer was because my wife was flown to The Netherlands to have a job interview for a job she was really likely to get. She didn't get it. But it messed me up, because I spent a lot of time thinking about everything that would have had to happen if we were to move to NL, etc.
And, trying to learn to "just do it". At the end of 2013 I dubbed 2014 the year of health, and at the end of 2014 I dubbed 2015 the year of doing. I get too caught up in my head. I overthink things. Again, not specific to homeschooling, but I'm sure it's something I'll struggle with in everything I do.
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I recently told my 7.5yo's school that we want to try him on the regular school bus instead of the short bus. I love the short bus - we live in WNY, so in the neverending winter it's great not to have to walk 0.2 miles through the snow (or rather, on the street, since everyone walks on the street when it's too snowy, which is dangerous because it's often also slippery which means a car could slide into you even if they saw you and tried to avoid you) to the bus stop and then wait for the bus when it feels like -15F or w/e (they cancel school if it feels worse than about -15F). But, I want to be able to let him walk places in summer, and I'm concerned that if he's on the short bus, it will be held against me if CPS or the police were to get involved.
The reason the school put him on the short bus was because he got overwhelmed waiting for the bus in the very noisy hallways, not because of any inability to walk to or from the bus stop. That was in K, when I would have had to walk him to the bus stop and pick him up. 1st graders are allowed to walk on their own though. He's doing great walking to the bus stop and back on his own, btw. :)
When I started 1st grade some of my classmates made fun of me because my mom walked me to school. When I asked her about it, she said that the only reason she walked me to school was so that she could meet other parents and socialize (we'd moved in the summer before 1st grade). My mom also says her neighbors let their 4yo tricycle laps around the block while they sit in the front yard (in 2014, but in The Netherlands). I'm not sure if it's okay for me to let my 4yo play in the backyard alone here in WNY. I could ask our neighbor, who is a senior CPS caseworker, but I don't want to create a situation where I'm asking him for permission for all of my parenting decisions. That said, I'm less concerned about him than about random busybodies. He's presumably seen enough cases of real abuse and neglect to not worry so much about minor things.
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Violent kids with a 1-1 aide should get an FBA done and the aide should get more training. Anyway, it sounds like you're in a sucky situation. Hope the new principal is going to be great.
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Social Communication Disorder? I don't know much about that one, but it's to do with social and communication issues (hence the name).
Could you take him to a speech therapist? Maybe one who specializes in pragmatics or w/e, not one who specializes in getting kids to pronounce things correctly. They could do some testing or work on some of these issues without testing and maybe point you in some direction for how to deal with these issues.
P.S. Don't most kids answer the question "where are you at with your schoolwork?" with reasons why they're not finished?
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Sorry. I meant I don't get parents who want (more) homework for the sake of homework, no matter what the homework is. Last year I talked my son's first grade teacher out of making him do his math homework (because math is very easy for him), and spent more time on phonics with him. This year he's better at getting the busywork done, and the challenge question or w/e is somewhat useful (since it involves writing), so I'm not minding it quite as much (not enough to try to talk his teacher out of it), but I do find myself rolling my eyes at some of the instructions they send home. They need to learn to count to 1000 (really? in April of 2nd grade?), and the note (torn from the workbook, so everybody got it) said that some kids may write 503 as 5003, and then gave some instructions on how to get kids not to do that. My 4yo knows how to write 503 correctly... it boggles my mind that so many 7-8yos have issues with it that everyone gets a note sent home. I'm sure my 7.5yo knew how to write it correctly before he was 6 (just not sure how long before that... maybe before 5).
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If a teacher loses it to the point of screaming and throwing books at kids, I'd be concerned what's next. Sure, throwing books at kids (and missing) is not the end of the world, and I can understand not wanting to report it out of concern for repercussions for your kids, but when people get stressed and they start escalating, someone might physically get hurt. I would report it, or at least talk to her about it. If I was concerned about repercussions, I might phrase it like "She's normally such a nice/good teacher, but I'm worried she maybe has post-partum depression, because this is so unlike herself, but my kids say she threw books at the kids, which, you know, kids aren't always accurate, but I thought you should know, because I'm worried about her, that she maybe needs a little break, since having a little baby can be so stressful" or something like that.
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:iagree:
I absolutely agree that parental expectations can be part of the issue. There are some parents that have bought into the myth hook line and sinker that more homework equates with doing better long term even in the early grades. They think a school is failing if it doesn't pile on homework. Since scientific studies showing how developmentally inappropriate piles of homework can be just don't seem to be making into the general population and our school system, well, I guess very few realize what a disservice we are doing to our kids.
I just don't get parents like that. It's not rocket science to come up with academic things to do with your kid if you want more 'homework'. I don't need a teacher to assign homework so my kid can have 'homework'. In fact, that's one of the reasons I dislike homework... it takes time away from the academic things I could make my kid do. Every minute he spends on math homework is a minute less to have him do mathy stuff I think he should be doing.
Wrt the original issue though, I agree with the others. Talk to teacher, then take it up a level if that doesn't help. 6 weeks is too long. We don't have an online portal, but my 2nd grader's math homework gets returned, corrected, the next day (very rarely a day after that). Other tests almost always within a week. It doesn't become less work to wait 6 weeks. It just creates a bigger mountain to go through. If it's too much work to grade that many things on time then maybe fewer things should be graded (especially in elementary school).
ETA: I don't want to give the impression I make my kids do academics all day long. I think free play time etc is important. I don't want to cut into that. My point was that my son's already in school most of the day... I'd like to be able to decide what he does with the rest of his time, and math busywork is not my first choice (nor in the top hundred).
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From what I've read, top schools also don't want to accept students who aren't going to attend, because it looks bad for their statistics. So even if they have a great applicant, if they think the kid will get into other schools the kid is more likely to attend, they may turn the kid down. I don't know to what degree that's true, but I wouldn't be too surprised if it's at least to some degree true.
Burn Out.
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Could you relax about the capitalization rules for now? I agree that eventually, she really should use them for formal communications, including essays in college (or high school if she goes to a B&M one), but I think maybe it's time to pick your battles and let minor things like that slide. It's not a prereq for other skills. So maybe you could tell her: "Look, I'm not going to worry about capitalization for now. You can use it or not use it. I find it easier to read things written with proper capitalization, and a lot of people find it easier to read things written with proper capitalization, which is why there are these rules. When you eventually go to B&M high school/college, your teachers are going to care, and they will subtract points if you don't. If you write a job application without capitalizing things correctly, you're unlikely to get the job. But for now, it's up to you. I'll help you when you're ready to care.". Or something like that.
Of course, I don't know how many of these kinds of issues you have. Was this one example from a long list, or just something that you're more stressed about than is strictly necessary? If she's struggling with a lot of things, even though she seems to be trying, it might be worth it to have her evaluated for some sort of learning disability. There are plenty of 2e (twice exceptional) kids out there, who are gifted and have a learning disability. Even if she doesn't seem to be trying, it could still be because of some sort of learning disability - some kids just give up.
:grouphug: