I'm in a weird space, where I just might do the same thing. Not intentionally, but it is a big pill to swallow. I know it's not some horrible thing, but just so unexpected to even be having this discussion. I need to read up on ABA and what all it involves. I can't multiquote but Lecka, thank you, yes that's kind of where we are. I'm trying to give my husband the benefit of the doubt. He likely thinks I'm a maniac because I have my 6 and 8 yr old being evaluated by the schools too. All of a sudden, in the last 6 months, something is "wrong" with all of them. Crazy! I would not be surprised if between the three of them after all is said and done we have a mix of ADHD, CAPD, dyslexia and SPD. My oldest needs vision therapy too! Throw in autism and I'm barely keeping it together. He just seems to be sticking his head in the sand, rather than getting on board with a solution. He'll get there, meanwhile I'll carry on.

Yes, things are getting worse. We have good days and not so good days. Today is not so good, lots of throwing and hitting and frustration. The biggest thing now is how he interacts with his siblings. He's just relentless with bothering them to the point of injury, in part Im sure due to his inability to play with them. I thought that as his language improved so would the behavior, but it seems the opposite. That perhaps he's developing on track in some areas yet the lack of language has only frustrated him more. If my husband were on board this would all be a non issue. I'd totally skip the county and go private, like yesterday. It is super hard around here. He keeps it together in public so much that you'd think nothing was wrong. He is never around lots of age mates so he hasn't been forced to deal. But the burden of proof is on me to go through these free resources first to figure out where he stands. He only sees about 20 % of his issues since he works so much, and what he does see he sort of chalks up to language and being an ornery 3 yr old. I've only looked into speech services and that requires austim dx first. I need to make some more calls about the actual eval coverage but I know we have a high deductible too. I will get the book, it looks great, thanks!

No I have not! And to be totally honest, the ST was a sweet older lady who had come out of retirement to do speech part time. She didn't "deal" with autistic children, hand picking her clients, and told me that there is no way he is autistic, he is "so social!" So she was happy to work with him. She did nothing I don't already do with him, scaffolding his speech, working in turn taking etc. If it wasn't free, I would have canceled it completely. I need to read on PROMPT and apraxia, I don't know what those are completely. I see him searching for the words trying to tell me something and I have no idea how to help. So then if it is something like that, the county folks might not even be versed enough to help as I've seen at our last place. Sigh.

Your response is exactly what I needed to hear, thank you. I don't really know, aside from boxes I can check, what autism is? I mean, I had no clue therapy would target joint attention or that that was even a thing! I did the mchat and it comes back low risk so I'm unsure again. Then he starts ramming into things as he walks to the bathroom and I'm back to square one. I don't have support from my husband, it's hard trudging through this unsure of what I'm dealing with and then not have someone willing to listen. So before I start spending thousands of his hard earned money when he doesn't want to, I want to do it when it will be most accurate so insurance helps.

Before I start, I'm likely going to get on a waitlist somewhere this year as I know it will be a while. However, I just want to get my thoughts out for other opinions/experiences :) My son just turned 3. He received speech therapy for the last 6 months through Early Intervention Services. We have moved and are going through the process of new evals and such through the county. When I took him to his well check, he bombed his ASQ. The only area he is on track is his motor skills. There's clearly more going on than just speech, but I wonder if it is the speech holding him back so strongly as opposed to an across the board issue like autism. Our ped, after he did not pass the Brigance test, has referred him to neurology. I likely can only get this testing covered once through my insurance, and we would need an autism dx to cover any therapy. Friends have said that the county isn't likely to dx autism, even though his eval will have an OT, behaviorist, ST, and psych present. If he is autistic, it would certainly be "high functioning" for lack of a better term. He makes eye contact, and engages family in his activities. His attachment to me especially, is huge, though he never gives hugs or kisses of his own volition. He sometimes withdraws from casual touch. His speech is probably about a year behind? He only just started two word plus phrases around christmas at 2.75. No spatial references (in, on, over). His issue seems to be receptive, but it's hard to say when he just totally ignores you. His hearing, checked in a booth, came back normal. He is very physical. He climbs on us all the time. He hits, bites, scratches everyone for sometimes no reason at all it seems. I have noticed occasional stimming (rocking) and scripted speech. He doesn't sleep through the night. During tantrums he harms himself (scratching, throwing his head to the ground). So, my thoughts are that perhaps we should wait for his speech to catch up some. Go through whatever services the county offers this year and then, have a full eval for autism closer to 4.5/5. I just want it to be as accurate as possible, where language isn't making his cognitive skills appear to be lower than they are. I know it'll be more thorough, but this "look at the picture and point to the scissors" business is totally irritating :sleep: . He knows what they do, and can communicate that he wants them if need them. Being a layman, I don't know how they sort these things out. I have heard that some places want you to wait until school age to dx. Is the language issue, or just a general delay the reason? I'm likely rambling now and just wondering what the next steps could look like and if I should have the private testing now. Or have some more therapy, more time, and then see where he is next year.

But you don't know that it's low processing speed? Why not spend money of finding the answer to the problem, than remediating a problem that isn't there? Testing through the public school is FREE. It may not be as thorough as a private psych, but it is a baseline of some information and your husband, unless he has to physically be involved to get her to the school, doesn't even have to know. My daughter is a people pleaser. She looks and acts completely average, she has always been a teacher's dream student. In preK they called her "Little Miss Perfect." All of a sudden she has hit a wall at 8.5. It's been tears everyday, "I can't", "I'm tired" etc etc which is so utterly out of the norm for her. When asked why, she doesn't know. She is a child, and does not have the language to explain what she is experiencing. I gave her the Barton pretest and it blew my mind how poor her working memory was. Testing gives you the information the child cannot. Certainly, there are kids with more severe issues than your child. Even in a public school, I imagine they would have brought up testing already if she talks even half as much as you say she does at home. Can you imagine a teacher trying to get through a lesson with 25 kids and one keeps asking questions? Or they would have her in the office all the time because of bad behavior. If you're ok with her being called lazy for something she perhaps cannot help, then again, I'm not sure the purpose of intervening at all. My daughter said to me the other day that she didn't feel normal, and she didn't know why. Her best friend is nearly a year younger and is reading leaps and bounds ahead of her. She is putting it together and she is falling apart. I kick myself everyday for not listening to my gut back in K, that she wasn't picking up things well, and now here with are with a kid drowning in anxiety so much that it's hard for her to get through the day. We are simply trying to avoid you getting the point where damage has been done. All the best. Eta: I have virtually no support from my husband. "His" kids don't have LDs. They would be better off in school maybe, I should just do more flash card work and move on etc. He is ok with "just getting by" and "turning out fine" despite a crappy education. I'm not. Period. My children deserve someone advocating for them to mitigate struggles of resources allow. So I'm going through the school, as he has no objection to free, and once I have unbiased, data driven results to hand him, then we can truly have a conversation about "his" kids lol. I think a lot of it is a cultural resistance. A tendency to shove issues under the rug and move on.

You sort out the difference by having them tested. There is no way from your post that we could answer this question, as you, being there all the time, have far more information that we do. If you're not going to have evaluations done, then you'll simply be left to wonder and watch her develop. Perhaps she is in fact thinking, and still wants to ask. Perhaps she likes you validating her ideas. Perhaps, she has such low attention that she literally cannot put things together fast enough before she's moved on to the next thing. Testing can be done totally free, I'm going through it with three of my children at the same time. I don't understand asking a question, and then not working to find the answer. Which ironically, and forgive me for being blunt, is exactly what you are asking your daughter to do.

I actually got her number from a post on a Facebook group on this topic for homeschoolers here. Chatham might not have that position, so perhaps put a call into your base school to see who you need to speak with. I hope it goes smoothly!

Where are you in NC? I'm in Wake County and they have been wonderful so far. They actually have a Special Education coordinator for non public schools. She walked me through everything I needed to do and let our base school know I was coming. Just had our referral meeting today, a mere 10 days after my written request and the pysch will call me this week to set up their evals. It really just depends!

Oh I understand! What nonsense though indeed, seven months is incredible.

Oh that is awful!! They made us enroll them as visiting students so they would get an ID number to keep everything organized. I cannot imagine making them go to school..that would be flat out cruel to my oldest 😩 I pray they continue to be as helpful as they have been so far! I think she took off the last 30 days because since I will not be enrolling the full time, they will not get an IEP?

I'm in North Carolina. Actually, the Special Ed Coordinator told me 90 days IIRC start to finish, so here's hoping that is accurate. I'm going through preschool services too for my 3 yr old son, and they are shooting for an eval within 30 days.

I hear ya. We'll just carry on as planned doing everything at the same time. Thanks everyone!

Ah, hadn't thought of "dyslexia being a vision problem" as her reasoning. I had read before things like ADD being slapped on kids that are actually vision related, and it seems plausible that a written exam could trip her up more if just focusing on the words is hard enough. I do see the difference in the question I'm wanting answered and what they will give. I'm operating on next to zero spousal support so I'm just going this route to get something, anything, on paper to show him I'm not a crazy hypochondriac or its some lack of instruction in my part. Forgive me, I'm not sure what RTI is?

Oh that is great to know that the person giving the test could see the difference and the effect on achievement tests. We homeschool now and will indefinitely so I'm not really concerned with accommodations right now, more so just to know exactly what I'm up against and if it's outside of what I can do alone.

Wow I would have never thought to put that off, everyone says vision checks first it seems? So her vision issue would not skew the results at all?

We're finally moved and settled and beginning the many evaluations that are to come for my oldest three kiddos. We are trying the school system first with my 8yo and almost 6yo, and so far they have been very accommodating. Our referral meeting is next week to get the ball rolling. With moving, we had to find a new COVD doc for my oldest and this one seems to be even more thorough than the first. We did not have a chance to begin VT before moving, and I'm somewhat grateful. She is going to run a NOVA test and Visagraph test next week before giving us a treatment plan. Her concerns are that with the way DD sees now (convergence insufficiency plus her eyes working so hard that she is nearing astigmatism and some other huge words I can't recall) the testing from the schools will be inaccurate. I've given DD the Barton pretest twice. The first time, 3 months ago she failed, the second, done yesterday under much more ideal conditions (all her siblings were away) and she passed. So I feel that since that screening required no reading, it is clear that there's more going on? She did have to focus on moving the tiles and such, but I imagine that's much easier than print. Her mistakes were in remembering what I said, though she always repeated the sounds correctly. I guess my question is this, should I wait until VT is done to do the evals? I know the school has 120 days but they seem to be really on the ball as far as moving the process along. Our first meeting is just a week after I got all the forms in so I'm thinking that we will be right in the middle of VT once she gets evaluated. Our new ped we'll see next week too has psychologists on staff and it would hopefully be easy to later repeat any testing after VT is totally done if need be. I'm just trying to keep cost under control a bit and have more support from DH going through the school first. I feel like we're at a standstill until this is sorted out, it's been such a long year.

They, is the speech and hearing center at the university here. The audiologist said that she had to be at least 6 to do the APD eval. So I figured I'd get her paperwork and stuff in now and then just schedule it for later in the spring. I'm not sure what test they run.

She went through the PS evals at 3. I'm not sure what all they did honestly. Back then she had terrible trouble with syntax, answering what was asked, she stuttered in a way when she would start a statement "because, because..." Etc. She stopped doing that halting speech for a long time and now it's back. It does very much feel like a train wreck coming, but I feel so helpless to stop it. I'll have to see if we can go through the PS again with her, as I know we can't afford private help for everyone. We eat crap lol. So I certainly want to do whatever clean eating changes I can do so that we're not exacerbating the problem. I know it's not a cure for sure. They were willing to do her APD eval at 6! I'm cool with waiting though if it'll be more accurate. She tells me it's too noisy when friends come over but I don't know if that is because she can't follow the stream of play they are doing so she retreats or of it's really the noise. She doesn't complain in busy places, so I'm not sure how to gauge that. And yes my dream of Latin and teatime and all that is out the window. Stinks. But I'm happy I'm in a position to help them. Dd8 has anxiety still from her public school K experience, I'd hate to scar another kid getting lost in the shuffle.

Oh no I didn't take it that way at all! My mom was diagnosed with add as an adult. I was talking to her yesterday about DD5 and she mentioned meds too. My immediate reaction was what? Of course not, she's 5! But she tried to tell me as someone who wants to remember things and focus and can't, I shouldn't rule it out, that it could really help her. It's what made me ask about expectations with this test. She should be able to do it at her age, it's not asking too much of an NT kindy kid. I knew going into it there was little chance she could do it but hoped for the best. I'll likely try diet changes and other approaches first since we are home and can accommodate her quite a bit, but still, it's just tough to accept that meds are even on the table.

I just reread your post and you mentioned meds. I hadn't even thought that might be needed. But if she can't focus for a 10 minute assessment, wow. She is just generally a great kid, but as she reveals more of what she might be struggling with, I guess we'll have to take that possibility seriously.

Thank you! She enjoys c rods with math. I can pretty much always get her to do an activity from education unboxed. She went through a stint where she wanted to read with me all the time and seemed to be blending fabulously. It just stopped completely. We haven't done AAR pre, just some phonogram work from a workbook and usborne readers. I thought maybe something scripted and open and go for me would help and there's some hands on stuff? But I can't imagine her wanting anything to do with flash cards for more than 5 minutes. She loves to play Teach Your Monster to Read, she's obsessed with games and tech, so I could just have her do that as much as she wants. I would like it space out the evals, though she is becoming a bear to deal with. The university does APD evals on a sliding scale so that might help. I'll have to research what's available where we are moving though it would be easy to drive back here for that in a couple months. Then maybe do the pysch side in the summer or whenever we can get in. She wants to quit dance, hates when friends come over ("too noisy"), said she doesn't want to leave the house to "stay safe" and can't fall asleep at night anymore. I thought it was a growth spurt but t seems to be all connected to inattention, being overwhelmed etc. I've got DS who is almost 3 in speech too and my husband is just like, wow, what are the odds 3 of 4 kids all have issues? Genetics baby..thems the breaks lol. Youngest is only 6 months so the jury is still out :P

Do I have it right that your average typical kindergarten student, age 5, should be able to pass this test? My daughter is almost 6 (April bday) and could not focus enough to do the third part at all. She missed several in part A but did clap syllables well. I wonder if LiPS would help her if she can't focus at all? For background, she has some speech issues that were termed auditory processing problems back when she was 3. She has never been to an audiologist. I just wonder if I should do something like AAR with her next year for first grade. While I'm waiting for my 8 yr olds first Pysch eval this week, my attention has been diverted to my 5yr old. I thought she was doing quite well before Christmas with reading, but now, I'm not so sure. She refuses to do anything..and not just school related..in general. She seems to have completely changed to a different child over the last couple of months. I'm just unsure what to do next year if she should have been able to pass this. DD8 didn't pass either, but she at least was able to do the whole thing. I'm guessing LiPS for both of them is the way to go? I don't know how I'm going to explain to dd8 that her and DD5.5 need to do the same work :/ Maybe big sister needs to help get little sister to do "her" work? If you read all my ramblings, thank you :) We are about to move, getting tests done, trying to find a doc in our new place for vision therapy, and everyone is sick of winter. Feb is indeed the worst!

I just want to chime in as a mom with an 8 yr old that when she was 6 was frustrated with the incredibly slow pace of AAR and had a child wanting to read more "real" stories. We moved to an OG program, she progressed fine so I thought and boom hit a wall. She can read things like Frog and Toad, but isolate those words outside that story and she is lost. Same with her readers. I'm finding now, that since she didn't pass the Barton pre test 2 yrs into an OG program, that she in fact needed that super slow incremental approach. Might she still have issues if I hadn't switched? Maybe, no dx yet so I can't say. But if I had Barton in my hands already, I would trust the process. There's no worse feeling than feeling like you are starting completely over.

Absolutely!